Hold on - Part 4 - Final
Summary:
Sho wants to ask Jun to come over for dinner, but Sho doesn't know how to cook a decent meal.
The wait for the text was awful. But now it had come, it was hard to open the message for he didn't know what answer it would contain. Sho could imagine the worst possible reply sitting in his living room staring at his phone message saying it had received a text.
To Sho-kun
About time you asked! I've been wondering how long it would take for you to ask me. Didn't expect it to be this long though.
Sho smiled relieved. He uttered a little laugh for being so paranoide and thought about what he wanted to write back when his phone prompted a second incoming message.
To Sho-kun
To answer your question: Nino is my boss and Aiba is a friend. Simple as that.
It didn't seem all that simple to Sho, though. To have two guys living with you and claim them to be friends. Maybe friends with benefits. The thought stung more than it should. Jun wasn't under any obligation to answer his questions; they weren't dating, they weren't exclusive. And Sho had no business asking these silly juvenile questions.
To Jun
You boss? The one you fell in love with? Why is your boss living with you? No wait, don't answer that.
He couldn't leave well enough alone and pressed send before he could stop himself. Nino was Jun's boss. Who, in their right mind, would let their boss live in with them. Heck, who in their right mind would let someone like Ninomiya stay with them at all?
To Sho-kun
He's in between relationships, left his house to his ex. Needed a place to stay. And yes, that would be the boss I fell in love with.
Now Sho was wondering if he had ever fallen out of love with Ninomiya. And more over, if he had, what made that happen? Did they share a meaningful relationship? Had Ninomiya turned him down alng the line? Or maybe he had taken advantage of... Nino probably cheated on the poor guy. It was petty thinking - and again, none of his business. He pondered how he would follow up on their conversation. Wouldn't it be easier to have it in person?
Sho tapped the device against the tips of his fingers. Was it too forward to ask what had happened between them?
To Sho-kun
Wouldn't it be better to talk in person? I can come by tonight, if you want.
It had his heart pounding. His mind jumped from Jun coming over, to skipping the whole reason he would come over, to the taste of his mouth against his. It was both shocking and funny. He hadn't really seen Jun since he got back with the exception of Jun getting him his number. And it would be the first time Jun would in his house. If he would have been working the house would be a lot more messy.
To Jun
That would be nice. I'll make sure there is dinner waiting for you.
He stared at the short message before sending not knowing what else to add. Maybe Jun didn't want to have dinner. Maybe that was too early. But then he realised that his cooking wasn't worth anything - because he couldn't even mince stuff, let alone prepare a decent meal - it was the sole reason why he ate out so much - that and the amount of overwork he did.
To Sho-kun
Will there be candlelight? ;) Meet you at around 7.
Candlelight? Were they at that stage? Wait a minute - was he expecting romance? Wait were they dating? Sho breathed a deep breath, convinced that he somewhere along the line missed a huge step. Or maybe Matsumoto Jun just liked to rattle his cage a bit. Maybe he had already figured out how to work around his defenses - if he had any. Best thing to do now is take it step by step and figure out what to serve Jun with the candlelight he suggested.
Sho was leaning on a shoppingcart watching the vegetables in silence, contemplating what the heck Jun would love foodwise. He had drop the suggestion cards the supermarket offered their clientele in the cart - not because he thought Jun wouldn't like it, but more because he couldn't cook any of it. And no he was losing hope and officially trying to come up with a plan to have take out pose as home cooked food.
"Hey, Sakurai-san," Aiba's cheery voice drew him out of his thoughts, "Doing shopping for your date tonight?"
"Hi, Aiba-kun. News travels fast I see." He wanted to ask if it was really a date, it began to honestly feel like he had missed the dating thing.
"It's not a date, Aibashi," Nino's voice rang out from the other side of the vegetable stand, "It's just a dinner and some lovely conversation."
"Yes, that spells date to me!" Aiba said in a singsong voice, "so what are you making? Anything we can help you with."
"And with we, he means himself," Nino clearified dropping some peppers in their shopping basket.
Sho sighed most dramatically than it needed to be, so he rolled eyes at himself and shrugged embarrassed.
"Poor thing," Nino's voice sounded everything but sincere. Aiba elbowed him for it.
"I ... I cannot cook if my life would depend on it. And I've got no clue what to make for him tonight. I was just think that maybe -"
"You're not going to cancel on MJ, are you? He'd die!" Aiba finished Sho sentence for him. Aiba looked shocked, and so did Sho.
"Are you kidding me? Heck no! I was wondering if I can make take out look like home cooked food." Sho sounded more unsure and even appologetic as he talked.
"Cream crab croque," Said while Aiba petted Sho's shoulder and thinking about the question at hand, "You can make a side dish of rice, some tuna salad, maybe some gyouza. It's not hard to make."
"You forget I can't cook any of it."
"Aiba will help you, I'm sure - if you ask nicely enough." But aiba was already buzzing with excitement looking around the store to see the ingredients they would need.
"This is going to be so much fun! Come one, Sho-chan! We need ingredients for your date!"
They were sitting across from each other. There was just one candle in the middle and Sho was eyeing Jun carefully when he was about to taste the crab croquette. The bite made Sho swallow. And however small the reaction of recognition in Jun’s eyes was it didn’t get passed Sho. The small widening of the eyes, the small hold between the first two chews.
“You can say it,” Sho said feeling a bit nervous while Jun sported a smile.
“This tastes a lot like Aiba’s cooking.” There was no judgement in his voice, nor the head on gaze he threw Sho.
“It is Aiba’s cooking. I met them in the supermarket.” There was curiosity in Jun’s eyes. “ I … I need to tell you something.” The curiosity changed a bit to worried. “I really cannot cook if my life depended on it. I’m seriously bad a cooking anything. And if I should believe Nino I’m even a danger to anyone cooking with me.”
Sho didn’t really meet Jun’s stare, who began laughing softly by the embarrassed look Sho was showing him.
“It’s really that bad?” Sho nodded. “ That’s okay. I can cook next time. I’ve got a question though,how did you get Nino to cook for you?”
Ho shrugged. “ He came along with Aiba. He was the one who said you’d know it was Aiba’s cook. Of course he said that after we were done.”
“Of course he did.”
“So what did you make of this dinner?”
“ I set the table… Do you want more wine? I need more wine.” Jun laughter followed him to the open kitchen.
“ That bad huh? Good thing I do know how to cook. I can at least show you the basics.”
“Even with basics it will be horrible. Do you need more wine? I need more wine.”
Sho hurried to the kitchen area, knowing he wasn’t completely out of sight but needing to get away from Jun and that friendly humorous smile of his. He was beginning to feel uneasy, just wanting to progress the night and skip the talking part and drag Jun into his bedroom.
The images flooded his mind and he was glad the coolness of the fridge was aiding his run away fantasies to cool down abit.
Dinner was quiet for a bit after that. Except for stares, eye contact and blushes with shy smiles. Sho drank a little more wine than he probably should.
“So you were curious to my living arrangements? Especially Nino-kun had your attention.” Jun couldn’t have made Sho blush more.
“I know I don’t have any right to ask any of this. I hardly even know you. But you have been alone and a few months ago you claimed you had no one and now there are two guys living next to you and I …” He stopped talking for a minute. “ I was just wondering how that happened.”
Jun smiled secretive and relaxed on Sho’s couch in the living room, wine glass in hand. “So I can see this as you taking an interest in me? Are you interested in me, Sho-kun?”
“I am.” Jun seemed to weigh something off in his mind as he watched the guy next to him. It felt to Sho like he was judged for some reason. Judged if he was worth knowing what Jun was holding back on.
“I have known Nino for years,” Jun started thinking and staring at the wine that was still in his glass, swirling it slowly, ”I had a good childhood, until I found out I was attracted to men. I was around thirteen I guess. If coming out at fifteen wasn’t hard enough, my mom couldn’t bare it. Her dream of grandkids went up in smoke - even though I still have my sister.” Jun sighed. “Before meeting Nino, my parents send me to camp.” The way he said camp was something that gave Sho instant chills.
“ you mean…”
“Yes, the kind to make your troubled gay teen a depressed self loathing not really straight teen.” Jun kept silent. “They weren’t even the religious kind. But it was horrible, so I will spare you the details.” Sho sat a little closer and linked his fingers with Jun’s without saying a word. He hoped his presence said enough.
“I can tell you about the heroic escaped we staged, but I’d be lying. I was too scared to try, so I sat out my time until I was deemed straight and returned home. But of course I was angry with my parents, I was more than a little depressed. My whole self image was wack and the day I turned seventeen I moved out before I was going stir crazy.” Jun set his wineglass on the low coffee table.
“I met Nino one the first night I went out. I researched a few bars online and just went to one on the edge of town.I just wanted to see what ‘gay life’ was like. I didn’t know anything. So the first guy who was friendly to me took me to the basement where - well you probably know.” Sho knew about the dark rooms - usually found in the basements of bars. The place where men had casual quick sex. But for Jun’s first time in such a place…
“We kissed, and I instantly knew it was wrong. So I said no and he didn’t let me go. Nino was there and pulled him off me, punched his nose. We then ran away.” Jun laughed just once at the ridiculousness of that time.
“He then bought us some drinks and we just hung out in silence. Even though we only differ a few months in age, man, he seemed so much more wiser and older than I was.”
“We started talking after a while and he walked me home. After what happened at the bar I was fully aware of that even posing a danger, but he seemed harmless and genuinely caring. Weird huh.” There was another pause as Jun reminisced. “Anyway, I foolishly asked him to come up and was just shaking his head, standing really close. And he kissed me, just once. No tongue no hands… Just a kiss. And he then told me I was no where ready for that.” There was a smile. “I can laugh about it now, but that rejection hurt at the time. As time went by I didn’t dare go out, but Nino stayed on my mind for the longest time. Until he showed up at my door.”
“Creepy,” Sho muttered to which Jun squeezed his hand slightly.
“He told me he had plans and needed a model and thought of innocent little me. That kind of kick started the whole thing. Nino became my world, my guide. He was my first everything.”
“That are some bold words, Matsumoto-san.” Sho didn’t know where the prefix came from and Jun nodded the smile fading.
“On the contrary of what people think about Nino and what he stands for, Nino is caring above anything else. He’s quick to defend the people he loves and he will go through hell just to see them happy if he can.”
“I can tell you are the same. I didn’t mean anything by my previous comment. It’s just a lot to live up to.”
“I don’t expect you to live up to anything. You don’t have to compare yourself to him if that’s what you are thinking. Do you even know what it is I do for a living?”
“You model for Ninomiya-san, you just told me.”
“I do more than just model, Sho-kun. I’ve done everything Nino is known for.”
He let that sink in.
“I have done ever kind of modeling, mostly nudes and with others. I’ve done porn movies, had my pictures taken while doing all kinds of sex poses. I’m tired of defending my lifestyle, or hiding it. It’s what I do.” He stood up and Sho was afraid he would leave while he processed the porn part. It was both shocking, a turn off and a turn on. And he never would’ve asked Jun to hide that part of his life. But it was a lot to take in. Jun grabbed something from the backpack and handed to magazine to Sho who had followed him to the hallway.
“This is what I do now.” He watched the confusion on Sho’s face. “Page five.”
Page five was a story someone shared, but the pictures accompanying the outline featured Aiba and Jun. Sho stared at a naked Jun and Aiba in bathrobe in the background. Jun looked so sad, like they had been into a terrible fight with the red eyes.
Sho walked back to the couch leafing further through the pages.
“Do you know how tiresome it is to hear potential dates saying they ‘cannot live up to the reputation of a porn star’? Or that they are just in it for the sex because I’ve done movies?”
“I never said anything like that.”
“I can hear you think. You must have wondered.”
“Jun, you are putting words in my mouth. I knew working with Nino you must have done a thing or two. But honestly, I don’t really care.”
“Nino’s living with me now, because I needed some space after that kiss between us.” Jun sighed.
“Jun,” Sho softly started putting the magazine away, when he eyes lingered a bit too long on the photo of Aiba and Jun kissing.
“I met Aiba in the bed and breakfast he runs. Or ran. He became quite attached to us and he wanted to help out as I went back to work. So he offered to stay with us. When I met up with Nino he was heartbroken. So… He could stay too, because he craves human contact even if he swears he doesn’t. And you can’t imagine what I owe him.”
This was not the talk Sho had imagined they’d be having. Jun looked something between torn and unsure. So, Sho pour them some more wine.
“I don’t think we should drink more.” True, perhaps, but Sho just wanted to have something to do.
“I know,” he said and Jun pouted as he connected the dots.
“I ruined the evening,” he concluded, “I seem to have a habit of doing that.”
“You haven’t ruined anything. I don’t know you that well and I really appreciate you telling me all this.”
“I bet you had a different idea about this evening,” there was a hint of humour in Jun’s eyes and Sho followed suit.
“I can’t deny I had.”
“Well don’t keep it for yourself. Tell me. Maybe we can put this night back on track.” Sho sighed, pursing his lips.
“Well, I thought that if we were done casually talking and eating, we’d just watch a movie or something.”
“What kind of movie or what kind of something?” Sho felt flustered feeling that Jun might want to drag it out of him.
“I … I wanted … What happened the other night when we kissed, Jun? It’s driving me insane.“
“I’m glad I’m not the only one who felt weird about it. You broke the kiss and didn’t seem to want to kiss me again. You had this weird look on your face.”
“Eh? You weren’t really responsive to the kiss. I thought you might not like my kisses.”
“Are you nuts? I told you it was a long time ago I had been kissed like that! That’s a compliment!”
“I know and that’s when it got all kinds of confusing! And on top of that you left!” Sho stopped talking and smiled sillily, “Maybe we should try that again. Because you like my kisses, right?”
“I’ll make sure you know how much I do this time. And I promise I’m not going anywhere.”
Sho gave a mock smile leaning into Jun, “You better not.” They stared at each other, letting the awkward feeling dissipate, and the new more intimate feeling surround them. It was a silent tug of war who would be the first cross the few centimeters between them. Smiles, looks that would go from lips to eyes and back again. Sho couldn’t deny he liked the feeling of want and waiting. His breath quickened, his inner temperature was rising.
“Oh hell,” Jun mumbled grabbing sho’s collar and pulling Sho against him slamming their lips together, making Sho breathless with the impact. There was no gentleness in their kiss. It was heated and sloppy as Jun claimed access to Sho’s mouth, licking around the sea of his lips, tugging harshly on the lower one before delving inside. Jun tasted of wine, the scent of him being close made his mind go haywire.
Sho pulled him closer, his arms reaching up; one around his neck to keep him close, the other crawling over Jun’s back, drawing clingy patterns. There was a moan, but Sho couldn’t tell if it was him or Jun. His body seemed burn with the contact. Pushing Jun against the cushions of the couch as he covered him. Jun didn’t put up any kind of resistance, move over he welcomed the attention, letting his fingers pull Sho’s shirt up so he could caress his skin. Now Sho could hear himself; the hitching of breath, the soft sound he emitted in Jun’s mouth as their tongues kept twirling around together in a sweet dance of dominance.
Sho moved against Jun, their bodies rubbing against each other, creating friction where it felt so good. Sho kept moving, nice and slow, hearing Jun react. The subtle shifts of his body, the soft little gasps he emitted, the slight arching of his back, the way his nails seem to scratch over the skin of is back, sliding down ever so slowly.
Sho was dry humping his neighbour. He knew he should stop. This was just a kiss. But why did it feel like he had won a jackpot and at the same time did it feel like he was a schoolboy alone with his first crush. He broke the kissing, hid his head in the crook of Jun’s neck, where breathing was even more difficult. But he was getting embarrassed, the rush of passion no doubt highlighted on his cheeks.
He should stop. But it felt so good; being on top, feeling Jun beneath him, Feeling how hard he was against his own, through the fabrics of their jeans. Jun’s hands creeping against the edge, creeping underneath the waistband, fingers slowly winning terrain, making Sho almost desperate as he moved out of his previous control. Harder and closer, creating more heat, more grating. Breath becoming more hectic as he mouthed and licked against the skin of Jun’s neck.
“I want to hear you,” sounds Jun’s voice, breaking the silence between them as he grabs hold of Sho’s cheeks and massages them with steady hands. Sho moaned almost on command by the action. “I want you to say my name as you come.”
Sho stopped moving, as the words took root into his brain. He couldn’t possibly mean -
“Let’s go to the bedroom then,” Sho muttered teasing Jun’s neck with his lips and tongue.
“My name,” Jun insisted, moving his body against Sho, his fingers pressing down, slipping between the crack, but skipping the place where Sho longed to be touched.
“Jun, I’m not a schoolboy. Creaming my pants is something that can be avoided. Let’s have our fun in the bedroom.”
“Proper little Sho-kun,” Jun teased back, breathless, letting his fingers dance and torment the skin it could, “What if I told you I’d like my guys dirty? What if I told you I want you to come right here.”
Sho just breathed, listing to the low voice of Jun, sending interesting prickling through his being, curling his toes. Jun moved his fingers, edging around Sho’s hole, making him jolt and move almost against his will.
“I want to be inside you,” Jun started whispering, driving him on, “I want to feel you hot and tight around me, hear your moans, and see you come undone. It would be so hot to see you riding me, to see you fucking yourself on me.”
Sho could just moan, utter some noises that weren’t really words, as the things Jun told him visualised behind his closed eyes, proving too powerful to resist. He wanted to be beneath Jun, even he hardly ever was in any previous relationship.
Sho moved with fierce actions against Jun, rougher, uncontrollable.
“Would you like that, Sho? Can you see it? Can you feel it?” Jun insert a tiny bit of his finger into Sho’s heat, but it was enough to make him come with just a few jerks, Jun’s name on his lips in a low endless moan.
It took a little while for Sho’s heart to stop beating in a somewhat normal rhythm. He didn’t really want to get off of Jun right now. How embarrassing to just come like that - even if Jun wanted that. He could already feel the stickiness turn cold inside his jeans. He sighed covertly before getting up, to only be held back by Jun who flung his arms around his neck, pulling him back for a kiss.
It was slow, tender; there was no fight over dominance this time with the urge gone. Though Jun was still hard. Sho could feel it.
“Shouldn’t I take care of you?” Sho muttered against Jun’s lips.
“Are you in a hurry?” Jun whispered back, trying to catch Sho’s bottom lip between his own.
“I do want to get out of my clothes,” Sho joked, maybe half. Seriously, it felt icky to say the least. Jun just smiled, looking mischief, inching his hand between them to cradle the wet spot. Sho felt the impulse to pull away. Because it was just too much to bare.
“Is it really that bad?” Jun laughed seeing the look on Sho’s embarrassed face. “You don’t like feeling dirty and juvenile?”
“Do you?” It sounded ridiculously questionable. Jun laughed softly.
“Did you forget what I do for a living?”
“I’m sorry, didn’t you tell me that porn and personal are not the same?” Sho shot back.
Jun rubbed his nose against Sho’s, pressing their foreheads together. “True. Though, I don’t mind.”
“You’re not the one with the cold wet spot in your jeans.”
“Oh, god, you’re never going to shut up about this, are you? Okay, you win. Take me to your bedroom, mister Newscaster.”
“About freaking time,” Nino’s voice sounds through the open balcony doors a little while after their done. Masaki giggles softly, probably because Nino dared to speak up after listening in.
Jun grinned, while Sho covered his face with his hands - embarrassed yet again.
Sho wants to ask Jun to come over for dinner, but Sho doesn't know how to cook a decent meal.
The wait for the text was awful. But now it had come, it was hard to open the message for he didn't know what answer it would contain. Sho could imagine the worst possible reply sitting in his living room staring at his phone message saying it had received a text.
To Sho-kun
About time you asked! I've been wondering how long it would take for you to ask me. Didn't expect it to be this long though.
Sho smiled relieved. He uttered a little laugh for being so paranoide and thought about what he wanted to write back when his phone prompted a second incoming message.
To Sho-kun
To answer your question: Nino is my boss and Aiba is a friend. Simple as that.
It didn't seem all that simple to Sho, though. To have two guys living with you and claim them to be friends. Maybe friends with benefits. The thought stung more than it should. Jun wasn't under any obligation to answer his questions; they weren't dating, they weren't exclusive. And Sho had no business asking these silly juvenile questions.
To Jun
You boss? The one you fell in love with? Why is your boss living with you? No wait, don't answer that.
He couldn't leave well enough alone and pressed send before he could stop himself. Nino was Jun's boss. Who, in their right mind, would let their boss live in with them. Heck, who in their right mind would let someone like Ninomiya stay with them at all?
To Sho-kun
He's in between relationships, left his house to his ex. Needed a place to stay. And yes, that would be the boss I fell in love with.
Now Sho was wondering if he had ever fallen out of love with Ninomiya. And more over, if he had, what made that happen? Did they share a meaningful relationship? Had Ninomiya turned him down alng the line? Or maybe he had taken advantage of... Nino probably cheated on the poor guy. It was petty thinking - and again, none of his business. He pondered how he would follow up on their conversation. Wouldn't it be easier to have it in person?
Sho tapped the device against the tips of his fingers. Was it too forward to ask what had happened between them?
To Sho-kun
Wouldn't it be better to talk in person? I can come by tonight, if you want.
It had his heart pounding. His mind jumped from Jun coming over, to skipping the whole reason he would come over, to the taste of his mouth against his. It was both shocking and funny. He hadn't really seen Jun since he got back with the exception of Jun getting him his number. And it would be the first time Jun would in his house. If he would have been working the house would be a lot more messy.
To Jun
That would be nice. I'll make sure there is dinner waiting for you.
He stared at the short message before sending not knowing what else to add. Maybe Jun didn't want to have dinner. Maybe that was too early. But then he realised that his cooking wasn't worth anything - because he couldn't even mince stuff, let alone prepare a decent meal - it was the sole reason why he ate out so much - that and the amount of overwork he did.
To Sho-kun
Will there be candlelight? ;) Meet you at around 7.
Candlelight? Were they at that stage? Wait a minute - was he expecting romance? Wait were they dating? Sho breathed a deep breath, convinced that he somewhere along the line missed a huge step. Or maybe Matsumoto Jun just liked to rattle his cage a bit. Maybe he had already figured out how to work around his defenses - if he had any. Best thing to do now is take it step by step and figure out what to serve Jun with the candlelight he suggested.
Sho was leaning on a shoppingcart watching the vegetables in silence, contemplating what the heck Jun would love foodwise. He had drop the suggestion cards the supermarket offered their clientele in the cart - not because he thought Jun wouldn't like it, but more because he couldn't cook any of it. And no he was losing hope and officially trying to come up with a plan to have take out pose as home cooked food.
"Hey, Sakurai-san," Aiba's cheery voice drew him out of his thoughts, "Doing shopping for your date tonight?"
"Hi, Aiba-kun. News travels fast I see." He wanted to ask if it was really a date, it began to honestly feel like he had missed the dating thing.
"It's not a date, Aibashi," Nino's voice rang out from the other side of the vegetable stand, "It's just a dinner and some lovely conversation."
"Yes, that spells date to me!" Aiba said in a singsong voice, "so what are you making? Anything we can help you with."
"And with we, he means himself," Nino clearified dropping some peppers in their shopping basket.
Sho sighed most dramatically than it needed to be, so he rolled eyes at himself and shrugged embarrassed.
"Poor thing," Nino's voice sounded everything but sincere. Aiba elbowed him for it.
"I ... I cannot cook if my life would depend on it. And I've got no clue what to make for him tonight. I was just think that maybe -"
"You're not going to cancel on MJ, are you? He'd die!" Aiba finished Sho sentence for him. Aiba looked shocked, and so did Sho.
"Are you kidding me? Heck no! I was wondering if I can make take out look like home cooked food." Sho sounded more unsure and even appologetic as he talked.
"Cream crab croque," Said while Aiba petted Sho's shoulder and thinking about the question at hand, "You can make a side dish of rice, some tuna salad, maybe some gyouza. It's not hard to make."
"You forget I can't cook any of it."
"Aiba will help you, I'm sure - if you ask nicely enough." But aiba was already buzzing with excitement looking around the store to see the ingredients they would need.
"This is going to be so much fun! Come one, Sho-chan! We need ingredients for your date!"
They were sitting across from each other. There was just one candle in the middle and Sho was eyeing Jun carefully when he was about to taste the crab croquette. The bite made Sho swallow. And however small the reaction of recognition in Jun’s eyes was it didn’t get passed Sho. The small widening of the eyes, the small hold between the first two chews.
“You can say it,” Sho said feeling a bit nervous while Jun sported a smile.
“This tastes a lot like Aiba’s cooking.” There was no judgement in his voice, nor the head on gaze he threw Sho.
“It is Aiba’s cooking. I met them in the supermarket.” There was curiosity in Jun’s eyes. “ I … I need to tell you something.” The curiosity changed a bit to worried. “I really cannot cook if my life depended on it. I’m seriously bad a cooking anything. And if I should believe Nino I’m even a danger to anyone cooking with me.”
Sho didn’t really meet Jun’s stare, who began laughing softly by the embarrassed look Sho was showing him.
“It’s really that bad?” Sho nodded. “ That’s okay. I can cook next time. I’ve got a question though,how did you get Nino to cook for you?”
Ho shrugged. “ He came along with Aiba. He was the one who said you’d know it was Aiba’s cook. Of course he said that after we were done.”
“Of course he did.”
“So what did you make of this dinner?”
“ I set the table… Do you want more wine? I need more wine.” Jun laughter followed him to the open kitchen.
“ That bad huh? Good thing I do know how to cook. I can at least show you the basics.”
“Even with basics it will be horrible. Do you need more wine? I need more wine.”
Sho hurried to the kitchen area, knowing he wasn’t completely out of sight but needing to get away from Jun and that friendly humorous smile of his. He was beginning to feel uneasy, just wanting to progress the night and skip the talking part and drag Jun into his bedroom.
The images flooded his mind and he was glad the coolness of the fridge was aiding his run away fantasies to cool down abit.
Dinner was quiet for a bit after that. Except for stares, eye contact and blushes with shy smiles. Sho drank a little more wine than he probably should.
“So you were curious to my living arrangements? Especially Nino-kun had your attention.” Jun couldn’t have made Sho blush more.
“I know I don’t have any right to ask any of this. I hardly even know you. But you have been alone and a few months ago you claimed you had no one and now there are two guys living next to you and I …” He stopped talking for a minute. “ I was just wondering how that happened.”
Jun smiled secretive and relaxed on Sho’s couch in the living room, wine glass in hand. “So I can see this as you taking an interest in me? Are you interested in me, Sho-kun?”
“I am.” Jun seemed to weigh something off in his mind as he watched the guy next to him. It felt to Sho like he was judged for some reason. Judged if he was worth knowing what Jun was holding back on.
“I have known Nino for years,” Jun started thinking and staring at the wine that was still in his glass, swirling it slowly, ”I had a good childhood, until I found out I was attracted to men. I was around thirteen I guess. If coming out at fifteen wasn’t hard enough, my mom couldn’t bare it. Her dream of grandkids went up in smoke - even though I still have my sister.” Jun sighed. “Before meeting Nino, my parents send me to camp.” The way he said camp was something that gave Sho instant chills.
“ you mean…”
“Yes, the kind to make your troubled gay teen a depressed self loathing not really straight teen.” Jun kept silent. “They weren’t even the religious kind. But it was horrible, so I will spare you the details.” Sho sat a little closer and linked his fingers with Jun’s without saying a word. He hoped his presence said enough.
“I can tell you about the heroic escaped we staged, but I’d be lying. I was too scared to try, so I sat out my time until I was deemed straight and returned home. But of course I was angry with my parents, I was more than a little depressed. My whole self image was wack and the day I turned seventeen I moved out before I was going stir crazy.” Jun set his wineglass on the low coffee table.
“I met Nino one the first night I went out. I researched a few bars online and just went to one on the edge of town.I just wanted to see what ‘gay life’ was like. I didn’t know anything. So the first guy who was friendly to me took me to the basement where - well you probably know.” Sho knew about the dark rooms - usually found in the basements of bars. The place where men had casual quick sex. But for Jun’s first time in such a place…
“We kissed, and I instantly knew it was wrong. So I said no and he didn’t let me go. Nino was there and pulled him off me, punched his nose. We then ran away.” Jun laughed just once at the ridiculousness of that time.
“He then bought us some drinks and we just hung out in silence. Even though we only differ a few months in age, man, he seemed so much more wiser and older than I was.”
“We started talking after a while and he walked me home. After what happened at the bar I was fully aware of that even posing a danger, but he seemed harmless and genuinely caring. Weird huh.” There was another pause as Jun reminisced. “Anyway, I foolishly asked him to come up and was just shaking his head, standing really close. And he kissed me, just once. No tongue no hands… Just a kiss. And he then told me I was no where ready for that.” There was a smile. “I can laugh about it now, but that rejection hurt at the time. As time went by I didn’t dare go out, but Nino stayed on my mind for the longest time. Until he showed up at my door.”
“Creepy,” Sho muttered to which Jun squeezed his hand slightly.
“He told me he had plans and needed a model and thought of innocent little me. That kind of kick started the whole thing. Nino became my world, my guide. He was my first everything.”
“That are some bold words, Matsumoto-san.” Sho didn’t know where the prefix came from and Jun nodded the smile fading.
“On the contrary of what people think about Nino and what he stands for, Nino is caring above anything else. He’s quick to defend the people he loves and he will go through hell just to see them happy if he can.”
“I can tell you are the same. I didn’t mean anything by my previous comment. It’s just a lot to live up to.”
“I don’t expect you to live up to anything. You don’t have to compare yourself to him if that’s what you are thinking. Do you even know what it is I do for a living?”
“You model for Ninomiya-san, you just told me.”
“I do more than just model, Sho-kun. I’ve done everything Nino is known for.”
He let that sink in.
“I have done ever kind of modeling, mostly nudes and with others. I’ve done porn movies, had my pictures taken while doing all kinds of sex poses. I’m tired of defending my lifestyle, or hiding it. It’s what I do.” He stood up and Sho was afraid he would leave while he processed the porn part. It was both shocking, a turn off and a turn on. And he never would’ve asked Jun to hide that part of his life. But it was a lot to take in. Jun grabbed something from the backpack and handed to magazine to Sho who had followed him to the hallway.
“This is what I do now.” He watched the confusion on Sho’s face. “Page five.”
Page five was a story someone shared, but the pictures accompanying the outline featured Aiba and Jun. Sho stared at a naked Jun and Aiba in bathrobe in the background. Jun looked so sad, like they had been into a terrible fight with the red eyes.
Sho walked back to the couch leafing further through the pages.
“Do you know how tiresome it is to hear potential dates saying they ‘cannot live up to the reputation of a porn star’? Or that they are just in it for the sex because I’ve done movies?”
“I never said anything like that.”
“I can hear you think. You must have wondered.”
“Jun, you are putting words in my mouth. I knew working with Nino you must have done a thing or two. But honestly, I don’t really care.”
“Nino’s living with me now, because I needed some space after that kiss between us.” Jun sighed.
“Jun,” Sho softly started putting the magazine away, when he eyes lingered a bit too long on the photo of Aiba and Jun kissing.
“I met Aiba in the bed and breakfast he runs. Or ran. He became quite attached to us and he wanted to help out as I went back to work. So he offered to stay with us. When I met up with Nino he was heartbroken. So… He could stay too, because he craves human contact even if he swears he doesn’t. And you can’t imagine what I owe him.”
This was not the talk Sho had imagined they’d be having. Jun looked something between torn and unsure. So, Sho pour them some more wine.
“I don’t think we should drink more.” True, perhaps, but Sho just wanted to have something to do.
“I know,” he said and Jun pouted as he connected the dots.
“I ruined the evening,” he concluded, “I seem to have a habit of doing that.”
“You haven’t ruined anything. I don’t know you that well and I really appreciate you telling me all this.”
“I bet you had a different idea about this evening,” there was a hint of humour in Jun’s eyes and Sho followed suit.
“I can’t deny I had.”
“Well don’t keep it for yourself. Tell me. Maybe we can put this night back on track.” Sho sighed, pursing his lips.
“Well, I thought that if we were done casually talking and eating, we’d just watch a movie or something.”
“What kind of movie or what kind of something?” Sho felt flustered feeling that Jun might want to drag it out of him.
“I … I wanted … What happened the other night when we kissed, Jun? It’s driving me insane.“
“I’m glad I’m not the only one who felt weird about it. You broke the kiss and didn’t seem to want to kiss me again. You had this weird look on your face.”
“Eh? You weren’t really responsive to the kiss. I thought you might not like my kisses.”
“Are you nuts? I told you it was a long time ago I had been kissed like that! That’s a compliment!”
“I know and that’s when it got all kinds of confusing! And on top of that you left!” Sho stopped talking and smiled sillily, “Maybe we should try that again. Because you like my kisses, right?”
“I’ll make sure you know how much I do this time. And I promise I’m not going anywhere.”
Sho gave a mock smile leaning into Jun, “You better not.” They stared at each other, letting the awkward feeling dissipate, and the new more intimate feeling surround them. It was a silent tug of war who would be the first cross the few centimeters between them. Smiles, looks that would go from lips to eyes and back again. Sho couldn’t deny he liked the feeling of want and waiting. His breath quickened, his inner temperature was rising.
“Oh hell,” Jun mumbled grabbing sho’s collar and pulling Sho against him slamming their lips together, making Sho breathless with the impact. There was no gentleness in their kiss. It was heated and sloppy as Jun claimed access to Sho’s mouth, licking around the sea of his lips, tugging harshly on the lower one before delving inside. Jun tasted of wine, the scent of him being close made his mind go haywire.
Sho pulled him closer, his arms reaching up; one around his neck to keep him close, the other crawling over Jun’s back, drawing clingy patterns. There was a moan, but Sho couldn’t tell if it was him or Jun. His body seemed burn with the contact. Pushing Jun against the cushions of the couch as he covered him. Jun didn’t put up any kind of resistance, move over he welcomed the attention, letting his fingers pull Sho’s shirt up so he could caress his skin. Now Sho could hear himself; the hitching of breath, the soft sound he emitted in Jun’s mouth as their tongues kept twirling around together in a sweet dance of dominance.
Sho moved against Jun, their bodies rubbing against each other, creating friction where it felt so good. Sho kept moving, nice and slow, hearing Jun react. The subtle shifts of his body, the soft little gasps he emitted, the slight arching of his back, the way his nails seem to scratch over the skin of is back, sliding down ever so slowly.
Sho was dry humping his neighbour. He knew he should stop. This was just a kiss. But why did it feel like he had won a jackpot and at the same time did it feel like he was a schoolboy alone with his first crush. He broke the kissing, hid his head in the crook of Jun’s neck, where breathing was even more difficult. But he was getting embarrassed, the rush of passion no doubt highlighted on his cheeks.
He should stop. But it felt so good; being on top, feeling Jun beneath him, Feeling how hard he was against his own, through the fabrics of their jeans. Jun’s hands creeping against the edge, creeping underneath the waistband, fingers slowly winning terrain, making Sho almost desperate as he moved out of his previous control. Harder and closer, creating more heat, more grating. Breath becoming more hectic as he mouthed and licked against the skin of Jun’s neck.
“I want to hear you,” sounds Jun’s voice, breaking the silence between them as he grabs hold of Sho’s cheeks and massages them with steady hands. Sho moaned almost on command by the action. “I want you to say my name as you come.”
Sho stopped moving, as the words took root into his brain. He couldn’t possibly mean -
“Let’s go to the bedroom then,” Sho muttered teasing Jun’s neck with his lips and tongue.
“My name,” Jun insisted, moving his body against Sho, his fingers pressing down, slipping between the crack, but skipping the place where Sho longed to be touched.
“Jun, I’m not a schoolboy. Creaming my pants is something that can be avoided. Let’s have our fun in the bedroom.”
“Proper little Sho-kun,” Jun teased back, breathless, letting his fingers dance and torment the skin it could, “What if I told you I’d like my guys dirty? What if I told you I want you to come right here.”
Sho just breathed, listing to the low voice of Jun, sending interesting prickling through his being, curling his toes. Jun moved his fingers, edging around Sho’s hole, making him jolt and move almost against his will.
“I want to be inside you,” Jun started whispering, driving him on, “I want to feel you hot and tight around me, hear your moans, and see you come undone. It would be so hot to see you riding me, to see you fucking yourself on me.”
Sho could just moan, utter some noises that weren’t really words, as the things Jun told him visualised behind his closed eyes, proving too powerful to resist. He wanted to be beneath Jun, even he hardly ever was in any previous relationship.
Sho moved with fierce actions against Jun, rougher, uncontrollable.
“Would you like that, Sho? Can you see it? Can you feel it?” Jun insert a tiny bit of his finger into Sho’s heat, but it was enough to make him come with just a few jerks, Jun’s name on his lips in a low endless moan.
It took a little while for Sho’s heart to stop beating in a somewhat normal rhythm. He didn’t really want to get off of Jun right now. How embarrassing to just come like that - even if Jun wanted that. He could already feel the stickiness turn cold inside his jeans. He sighed covertly before getting up, to only be held back by Jun who flung his arms around his neck, pulling him back for a kiss.
It was slow, tender; there was no fight over dominance this time with the urge gone. Though Jun was still hard. Sho could feel it.
“Shouldn’t I take care of you?” Sho muttered against Jun’s lips.
“Are you in a hurry?” Jun whispered back, trying to catch Sho’s bottom lip between his own.
“I do want to get out of my clothes,” Sho joked, maybe half. Seriously, it felt icky to say the least. Jun just smiled, looking mischief, inching his hand between them to cradle the wet spot. Sho felt the impulse to pull away. Because it was just too much to bare.
“Is it really that bad?” Jun laughed seeing the look on Sho’s embarrassed face. “You don’t like feeling dirty and juvenile?”
“Do you?” It sounded ridiculously questionable. Jun laughed softly.
“Did you forget what I do for a living?”
“I’m sorry, didn’t you tell me that porn and personal are not the same?” Sho shot back.
Jun rubbed his nose against Sho’s, pressing their foreheads together. “True. Though, I don’t mind.”
“You’re not the one with the cold wet spot in your jeans.”
“Oh, god, you’re never going to shut up about this, are you? Okay, you win. Take me to your bedroom, mister Newscaster.”
“About freaking time,” Nino’s voice sounds through the open balcony doors a little while after their done. Masaki giggles softly, probably because Nino dared to speak up after listening in.
Jun grinned, while Sho covered his face with his hands - embarrassed yet again.