Pass The Time With Me

[ava_lava]

Title: Pass The Time With Me

Pairing(s): HanChul

Genre(s): warning!dark, angst, highlight for spoilers warning!death

Length: 5304 words

Rating: PG-13

Summary: In which Heechul is obsessed with Death.

Inspiration(s): I was reading my music history textbook and read that many Romantic composers were fascinated with Death, which influenced their

Comments

[stars_in_love]

okay, i will comm on parts of the story chronologically LET'S GO ONE SHOT BABY

He managed to build the toy dinosaur skeletons by himself, and he believed that they were much more beautiful than the live ones on the cover.
WOW MY SPINE FEELS ALL CHILLY AND NICE I LIKE THIS.

but oh mY GOD HANGENG SNUFFLING IN HIS SLEEP HOW DARE YOU. MY DOG DOESN'T EVEN SNUFFLE IN HIS SLEEP THAT IS THE CUTEST THING EVER what kind of animal snuffles though. I've only heard a tiger snuffle it sounded really weird.

(On very rare occasions, Heechul would dream of dying. He would dream that his skin flaked off like sawdust, that his blood drained out from every opening in his body, one drop at a time, slowly, deliberately, almost lovingly... trickling down his naked body like a river that caressed him and told him that everything was okay, everything was going to be just fine, nothing hurts anymore, no pain, no more pain

Heechul would wake up with tears in his eyes every single time.)
I secretly, truly, really love this paragraph because it's as if he wrote the most beautiful paragraph about the acceptance of Death and how relieved he will be to have nothing to worry about, nothing to hurt over and this paragraph basically crumbles under one sentence of him waking up crying, afraid. Cookies to you for this, really. c:

wait so hold on kyuhyun the rat is named after kyuhyun the human. :| whoa

and was the kibum being a bat thing and heechul being his batman thing supposed to be like connected. i see a connection.

for Death seemed to be an answer to everything. That sort of phobia where he pities the living. And above all, those who live without love- Dumbledore.

“Life is pointless.”

“Life is what you make it.”
I've been on both sides of this argument tbh.

“Then life goes on without me. But I sure as hell get props for trying.”
This deeply reminds me of The Fault in Our Stars. The whole fic practically does, but this line made me remember when Augustus says in his letter to Van Houten "Almost everyone is obsessed with leaving a mark upon the world. Bequeathing a legacy. Outlasting death... But Van Houten: The marks humans leave are too often scars." Is this the props Han Geng is talking about omg

Kibum was miserable, sad, lonely, he wanted to live, didn’t he, no he died, he’s happier dead, yes, death is happiness
ah, but heechul, how is death happiness if happiness is life?

Oh my god the one guy who does not like living saves a life han geNG HOW LUCKY YOU ARE.

wait

wait

ava.

ava wait.

you mean i did all that text analysis for this ending paragraph

ava what.

i'm gonna go the sci-fi way and say that everyone heechul touches ends up dying within his lifetime ~o~spooky voodoo shit yay

[ava_lava]

Snuffling requires an automatic AWWWW.

CONNECTIONS FTW: Heechul named all of his dead loved ones after things found around his home. Siwon is a human skull (Shakespeare allusion), Kyuhyun is the dead rat (homeless), and Kibum is the bat (LOL YES BATMAN, but also "idealistic child" who believes in superheros but Batman totally works).

I believe life is only meaningful if you don't think too much about it. Then again, I am a firm believer that thinking is detrimental to the soul. THE LESS YOU THINK, THE HAPPIER YOU ARE. THIS IS DEEP SHIT, MAN. :D

Huh, I haven't read The Fault In Our Stars - PUTTING IT ON MY TO-READ LIST. Han Geng just wants to live happily and the only way he manages that is to believe that his life means something (otherwise he would be like NOPE NOPE I AM THROUGH WITH THIS LIFE SHIT FUCK IT).

PLOT TWISTS, MAN. YOU GOTTA LOVE 'EM.
(... and yes, technically Heechul can kill people. Take into account that he calls the Grim Reaper his mother. Interpret that in any way you like)

OMG TALKING ABOUT DEATH MAKES ME FEEL LIKE HANNIBAL LECTOR. LIKE WTF, I DON'T EAT PEOPLE.

[stars_in_love]

BUT IF YOU MUST THINK LESS FOR LIFE TO BE MEANINGFUL, HOW IS IT DEEP SHIT. THIS IS INCEPTION, DUDE.

omfg you must read the fault in our stars by john green it is the sadDEST BOOK EVER. And yeah, i guess that's what the quote meant, wanting one's life to leave an imprint. LIKE A DOG PEEING ON MULTIPLE FIRE HYDRANTS but omfg he actually writes that simile in the book i swear

maybe... MAYBE HIS MOTHER THAT DIES BECAME THE GRIM REAPER. HMMM.

i didnt watch that movie oops

[ava_lava]

INCEPTION WITHIN AN INCEPTION. DEEP SHIT, MAN. DEEP SHIT.

LIKE A DOG PEEING ON MULTIPLE FIRE HYDRANTS. This describes my dog exactly. He pees on anything and everything. He once just walked up to my neighbor and peed on his leg - I was so proud of him because my neighbor is a complete asshole.

no need to watch the movie, but the book should be a literature staple SO CREEPY AND SO AMAZING

[stars_in_love]

MY DOG PEES ON EVERYTHING TOO OMFG. IT'S SO EMBARRASSING HE EVEN POOPS ON PEOPLE.

[ava_lava]

SO MUCH RESPECT FOR YOUR DOG, MAN. SO MUCH RESPECT.

[stars_in_love]

YOU ARE WEIRD AVA I LOVE YOU <3

DON'T RESPECT MY DOG HE'S A SASSY POO

[ava_lava]

PSH IF YOU THINK I'M WEIRD NOW, I WONDER WHAT YOU WOULD THINK IF YOU MET ME IN REAL LIFE.

[stars_in_love]

...I WOULD PROBABLY FREAK YOU OUT WITH MY AWKWARD TENDENCIES FIRST.
AND THEN I WOULD GIVE YOU HUGS AND THROW CONFETTI AT YOU

[ava_lava]

I AM THE QUEEN OF AWKWARD TENDENCIES. MY FIRST WORDS TO MY FAVORITE PROF WAS HI MY NAME IS AVA, DON'T KILL ME I LOVE YOU. TRUE STORY.

[stars_in_love]

I DONT EVEN SAY HI TO MY PROFESSORS IM JUST LIKE /NINJAS TO BACK OF THE ROOM

/BUMPS INTO PROJECTOR

[ava_lava]

HAVE YOU EVER SPILLED COFFEE ON A PROF? I HAVE!

[stars_in_love]

BUT YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUR GULL THAT WRITES LOVELY FICS SO LIKE CANCELS OUT ALL AWKWARD

AND THIS DOESN'T FUCKING COUNT I DON'T EVEN DRINK COFFEE