"Everybody else's doing it, so why can't we?"
Your True Birth Month Is August
Suave
Romantic
Attractive
Observant
Loves to joke
Easily jealous
Easily angered
Learns to relax
Loves to dream
Thirsty for praise
Loving and caring
Brave and fearless
Extraordinary spirit
Careful and cautious
Independent thoughts
Angry when provoked
Loves to make friends
Sensitive but not petty
Too generous and egoistic
Takes high pride of oneself
Loves to lead and to be led
Thinks quickly and rationally
Knows how to console others
Poor resistance against illnesses
Firm and has leadership qualities
Talented in the arts, music and self defense
What's Your True Birth Month?
Whatever. I will always be a scorpio, no matter what any of those little quizzy-thingies say!
In other news, I'm kind of sad today. *surprise, surprise!*
I woke up later than I wanted to & started studying for my math final.
I went out for a smoke & in the meanwhile Kelly woke up, and was worried by the fact I wasn't there.
We hung out for a little bit, and I thought things were going quite well considering we'd settled somethings during a tiff last night... maybe I was wrong.
My phone's screen died on me yesterday & when I called customer service they said they'd send a new one, but if there was any damage to the phone that wasn't covered by the warranty the new phone would cost me $215!!! BULLSHIT!!!
So, I went on ebay to find one cheaper. I found one for $50, which is a helluva lot better than what at&t wanted from me, but when I went to buy it I couldn't because my credit card is registered to Kelly's paypal account, and her account is temporarily frozen because of some scam this guy is trying to run on her & they're "investigating" it.
I have a separate paypal account as well, so I just had to go through all of our joint & separate cards to find one that wasn't linked to her account. I didn't before I had to leave to take my final, so yes I was a bit peeved. No, no.. I was pissed the fuck off!
I didn't get anymore studying done before taking my test, I couldn't find either of my calculators, I didn't even have time to take a shower before going to test! It was indeed horrible.
So, I left in a bad mood, but despite having no calculator I feel pretty confident about the test. At least I never have to think about finite ever again! w00t w00t!!
I was in somewhat brighter spirits when I got home, but kelly had become far worse.
I called to the bedroom when I got in, and asked if she wanted to go t lunch @ the bar across the street from us, my treat. she said no & asked me to come to bed. I obliged, after finding a loophole & ordering my new cellphone. I get back there & she reeks of liquor, so I asked if she'd been drinking & she said yes. That she had finished off my bottle of gin & started crying & talking about her parents' relationship & how she had no idea why they were together.. Then she started talking about how her grandparents have this perfect relationship & she wants us to be that way, and she doesn't understand why we're not perfect & all of that.
At first it kind of upset me tat she really expects us to have this perfect relationship, but then.. so do I. I wish it were all nice & tidy with no loose ends & everything in the world to show for it. But it's not. & I doubt it ever will be. Things just don't work that way. You have to face some sort of troubles in a relationship to build a bond as strong as her grandparents seem to share. We must also think they knew eachother 15 years before they got married & have been married for 60 more. No shit they have a great relationship! Tell me something I don't know. What I don't get is the fact that she expects us to be that way after only a year & a half.
It's just not going to happen.
It's just not.
So, once she's done with this line of conversation she tells me she's going to be sick & goes to the restroom. When she got there she started crying hysterically.. So, i went in there to see if she was o.k. (physically, that is) She was sitting on the bathroom floor in her undies & she just looked so. lost.
She was crying because she feels as much as I do that our relationship is coming to a close, and neither of us want it to end. Of course, this was said in not so many words, but I know what's going on here, just as much as she does. It's sad really. Actually, it's breaking my heart.
She cried in my arms for a good hour or so, curled up in our tiny bathroom, as she mumbled on & on about how she shouldn't do stupid things & she wishes she was perfect for me & vice versa & she wants to take care of me, but she too stupid.. & on & on & on...
I tried to console her, and I think I succeeded a little. But there's so much more that's wrong here. There's so little left that we can really do about it. I feel just as lost as her. I really don't know what's going to happen here.
I guess it really is true: "sometimes love just ain't enough..."
And it's breaking my heart.