Random Thoughts.
I am growing up. I am maturing. I can see differences...I can feel it. Petty things used to upset me, now I feel I have a better grip on my emotions and can see the 'big picture'. I feel all my relationships changing. I feel I have lost my friends...I feel lost. I no longer feel that I have the answers, yet lost in the deep questions. I feel desperate to get out on my own, yet determined to get ahead by staying home and saving my money. I savior the moments I have to escape my real world, and into a world of cruises and vacations. I am lost in my career choice. I want to make a difference in the world, yet I feel that I can't. I want a Mercedes, a nice house, nice things. I want everlasting passion and love. I feel every decision I make is the wrong one and every time I make a decision I see my life going the opposite path I desire. Yet I have faith. Faith that somehow I will get my cinderella story. I know now that I won't have the castle, white horse, prince charming...but I feel, in my soul, that I can be happy somehow. I know I have high standards, goals, expectations...yet I feel I am learning valuable lessons from the life I am somehow drawn to. Maybe, just maybe...oneday I will feel peace in knowing the answers don't lie far way, but have been in my heart the whole time. Hopefully I will realize this before it is too late.