The Line That I Have Passed

[autumnwynds]

i have realized that there is no such thing as perfection. and the only way thier is perception of perfection is if you do not touch what you think is perfect. If you touch it will wilt and die and become tainted. and as you touch you realize that part of you has wilted and died as well. The world becomes skewed and you cannot tell what is real or fake anymore. my sanity is not the same. i write this in a tear clouded haze. wondering what will happen now. be careful what you wish for. i never understood that statement until this morning. i am a husk of the person i once was. i do not think anything can change that. to give yourself freely and get nothing in return. nothing but a bit of fun nothing more...but so much less...and i hate myself...these lips should be sewn shut to never utter another word. dreams were shattered never to be repaired. nothing can fix this. and only time can tell what will happen now. i longed for that skin. for that touch....for that kiss. but it turned to ash under me...did it satisfy no. i am broken. a doll in a sea of darkness. i can never be the same. never feel the same. he took me and i am nothing now. he had me but there is nothing to have anymore. we played the game. and i lost. the stakes were too high but i still played. i was selfish....that is the only explaination. A blackend soul...tainted...dead...all the pain fills my head...laughter gone...
laughter dead...i thought there was love....but you broke my heart instead. the words have lost meaning...there is nothing more to say...nothing i can say...so i will leave you. but know this be careful what you wish for cuz you will get it but not in the way you want it....