well I've been holding on tonight.
So my friend AJ and I were hanging out today. We realized that we're bored with our lives. There's so much more than just working and going to school. Yeah, I know I have a great life... Wonderful job, great boyfriend, I just found my focus in life and have picked a major and recently gone back to school, taking classes at night... I have a nice car, will be moving out soon. Things are generally pretty perfect.
I've realized that I spend a large amount of my time in thought lately. I'm always wondering what's missing. I should be happy right? Things are virtually perfect, as I stated above. Yet I find myself depressed and down. A lot. Too much. I'm not sure of the reason of my depression... (It makes me want to start painting again. I think maybe I will.) I thought maybe it was that I didn't have many friends other than my boyfriend... But this weekend, I hung out with three different friends, as he was out of town. I immensely enjoyed myself and had a great time watching So I Married An Axe Murderer with my new friend Jenn (w00t!) on Saturday night and seeing my friend's band, Manakin (www.manakinmusik.com-- check it out, they rock) at The Roxy on Friday night with Katie (and going to the Hustler store!). I had a great time just exploring Long Beach and San Pedro with AJ today, too. So it seems that it's not my lack of friends... I'm not alone, I'm surrounded by great, genuine people. However, I don't have really deep relationships with anyone but Evan so I don't know... maybe that has something to do with it. I don't really have any friends that I'm REALLY extremely close to.
Anyway, that brings me back to AJ and I talking about how we're bored with our lives. I need some excitement. I need a major change. AJ and I talked about travelling... I just went to San Francisco and Berkeley with Evan. That didn't seem to help, though it WAS a lot of fun. AJ and I talked about getting some friends together and maybe going on a cruise or something. I think that would be awesome. A Caribbean cruise is pretty expensive but a Mexican cruise is all about booze and drinking and sex so we sort of decided against that. We talked about people we'd invite, and if you're one of them, I'll get in touch with you shortly about whether you're interested and what our options are. We need to start saving... AJ mentioned Spring Break but I'm not sure that will work because all of the different colleges have different Spring Breaks. So I'm thinking maybe next summer? Let me know if you have any ideas or input... Anyway, the point of all of that was, if you're reading this, if I know you and if you're interested, let me know. It would be lots of fun.
I guess the whole point of this blog is that I'm depressed and feel unfulfilled, even though I have a great life. I don't know, maybe it's chemical.
I miss Evan. It's almost time to pick him up at the airport.
Sigh.
I've realized that I spend a large amount of my time in thought lately. I'm always wondering what's missing. I should be happy right? Things are virtually perfect, as I stated above. Yet I find myself depressed and down. A lot. Too much. I'm not sure of the reason of my depression... (It makes me want to start painting again. I think maybe I will.) I thought maybe it was that I didn't have many friends other than my boyfriend... But this weekend, I hung out with three different friends, as he was out of town. I immensely enjoyed myself and had a great time watching So I Married An Axe Murderer with my new friend Jenn (w00t!) on Saturday night and seeing my friend's band, Manakin (www.manakinmusik.com-- check it out, they rock) at The Roxy on Friday night with Katie (and going to the Hustler store!). I had a great time just exploring Long Beach and San Pedro with AJ today, too. So it seems that it's not my lack of friends... I'm not alone, I'm surrounded by great, genuine people. However, I don't have really deep relationships with anyone but Evan so I don't know... maybe that has something to do with it. I don't really have any friends that I'm REALLY extremely close to.
Anyway, that brings me back to AJ and I talking about how we're bored with our lives. I need some excitement. I need a major change. AJ and I talked about travelling... I just went to San Francisco and Berkeley with Evan. That didn't seem to help, though it WAS a lot of fun. AJ and I talked about getting some friends together and maybe going on a cruise or something. I think that would be awesome. A Caribbean cruise is pretty expensive but a Mexican cruise is all about booze and drinking and sex so we sort of decided against that. We talked about people we'd invite, and if you're one of them, I'll get in touch with you shortly about whether you're interested and what our options are. We need to start saving... AJ mentioned Spring Break but I'm not sure that will work because all of the different colleges have different Spring Breaks. So I'm thinking maybe next summer? Let me know if you have any ideas or input... Anyway, the point of all of that was, if you're reading this, if I know you and if you're interested, let me know. It would be lots of fun.
I guess the whole point of this blog is that I'm depressed and feel unfulfilled, even though I have a great life. I don't know, maybe it's chemical.
I miss Evan. It's almost time to pick him up at the airport.
Sigh.