Completely undesirable..
You know .. I think maybe I'm just very relationship "savy" .. and every guy I date isn't .. haha.
Or maybe I'm just very demanding.. no scratch that .. I'm someone who knows what they want for a change and I guess it even catches me off guard.
I'm pretty easy going with most things but there are just somethings I'm not going to budge on .. know what I mean.
My boyfriend sending "sweet" texts to some other girl is just something I won't budge on. Him trying to justify his behaviour by throwing something in my face from a few months ago.. is not cool and I won't budge on it.
Am I being unfair?? I don't thing so.
He doesnt even kiss me, kiss me.. anymore.. know what I mean? I mean he kisses me.. but there this quick pecks like any longer and he's having to endure some torture or something.. :( I don't get tongue anymore unless I ask for it, it seems.
Lately we have sex when he wants sex and for once in my life I'm actually initiating and not being shy about it and I've been turned down!!.. me!! can you beleive it ?? lol.. okay but seriously it hurts.. I mean I branch out and do something unlike me and I like it and then it's like.. I dunno *sigh* .. but then he compliments me and tells me I'm sexy. Cause now I really feel sexy thanks.
So I admit .. sometimes I need alot of attention.. sometimes I need a bit more affection .. and sometimes I need to feel extra special. Sorry!!!.. I have low self esteem but this is not something that people don't know.. lol.. It's common knowledge really.
I dont know it's like there is no passion.. and I love passion I need passion. When we first started fooling around my lips would be swollen from kissing.. his neck would be covered in hickies.. I go near his neck and he pulls away.. I dont really know what to do .. I never felt sexy in the first place and I can't even describe how unsexy I feel now.
I just want to wrap myself in a blanket and cut out to eye holes and walk around like that all day..
I feel invisible..
Or maybe I'm just very demanding.. no scratch that .. I'm someone who knows what they want for a change and I guess it even catches me off guard.
I'm pretty easy going with most things but there are just somethings I'm not going to budge on .. know what I mean.
My boyfriend sending "sweet" texts to some other girl is just something I won't budge on. Him trying to justify his behaviour by throwing something in my face from a few months ago.. is not cool and I won't budge on it.
Am I being unfair?? I don't thing so.
He doesnt even kiss me, kiss me.. anymore.. know what I mean? I mean he kisses me.. but there this quick pecks like any longer and he's having to endure some torture or something.. :( I don't get tongue anymore unless I ask for it, it seems.
Lately we have sex when he wants sex and for once in my life I'm actually initiating and not being shy about it and I've been turned down!!.. me!! can you beleive it ?? lol.. okay but seriously it hurts.. I mean I branch out and do something unlike me and I like it and then it's like.. I dunno *sigh* .. but then he compliments me and tells me I'm sexy. Cause now I really feel sexy thanks.
So I admit .. sometimes I need alot of attention.. sometimes I need a bit more affection .. and sometimes I need to feel extra special. Sorry!!!.. I have low self esteem but this is not something that people don't know.. lol.. It's common knowledge really.
I dont know it's like there is no passion.. and I love passion I need passion. When we first started fooling around my lips would be swollen from kissing.. his neck would be covered in hickies.. I go near his neck and he pulls away.. I dont really know what to do .. I never felt sexy in the first place and I can't even describe how unsexy I feel now.
I just want to wrap myself in a blanket and cut out to eye holes and walk around like that all day..
I feel invisible..