Job-searching is no fun
In elementary school, and junior high, and high school, and college we wrote resumes. Why? No freaking clue. Something about preparing us for high school/college/the real world. Uh huh, well. Nothing they taught us has ever applied. Except for the name-at-the-top part. That was pretty consistent across the board. But that whole skills and interests section? Yeah, no one wants to know how many years I took Spanish courses, or that I like to read in my free time. Hell, they don't even want to know that I was a summer employee at the local Macy's or that I washed dishes at the dining hall sophomore year. Totally irrelevant. None of my life ever relates to where I want to direct it.
So, I'm putting together this resume, and trying to resist the urge to be cynical and crass. Obviously, I know that I can't inject snide remarks into something that my livelihood depends on. *initiate defense mechanisms* But honestly, do I have any relevant skills? "Um, I'd like to work in your office, all cooped up in the corner. I'm a college dropout, and an amateur blogger, but I have great people skills and I make a mean banana split. I can also execute more complicated, two-step instructions. " Yeah, I don't see that going well. It's tough to fabricate awesomeness. And by fabricate, I mean emphasize my good points and not the thoroughly evidenced overwhelming tendency toward failure. I think I'm a good person....I didn't mean to not like school, I just prefer menial work. It's incredibly hard to piece together courses that I actually finished, into something resembling a learning experience. I'm thinking it's a lot like salvaging from a house that burned to the ground. It was a good effort, but obviously didn't work out. I mean, hey, there's some good material in there, you just have to find it. I think it was Information Tech Literacy that taught me to embrace Office. And um.......there's got to be more. Did I mention I can balance a checkbook and prepare my own taxes?
Crap. I am so done.
So, I'm putting together this resume, and trying to resist the urge to be cynical and crass. Obviously, I know that I can't inject snide remarks into something that my livelihood depends on. *initiate defense mechanisms* But honestly, do I have any relevant skills? "Um, I'd like to work in your office, all cooped up in the corner. I'm a college dropout, and an amateur blogger, but I have great people skills and I make a mean banana split. I can also execute more complicated, two-step instructions. " Yeah, I don't see that going well. It's tough to fabricate awesomeness. And by fabricate, I mean emphasize my good points and not the thoroughly evidenced overwhelming tendency toward failure. I think I'm a good person....I didn't mean to not like school, I just prefer menial work. It's incredibly hard to piece together courses that I actually finished, into something resembling a learning experience. I'm thinking it's a lot like salvaging from a house that burned to the ground. It was a good effort, but obviously didn't work out. I mean, hey, there's some good material in there, you just have to find it. I think it was Information Tech Literacy that taught me to embrace Office. And um.......there's got to be more. Did I mention I can balance a checkbook and prepare my own taxes?
Crap. I am so done.