(no subject)
I keep seeing her gasping and seizing and I hear her 'lost help me' meow. And it is raining on her under the plum tree. I keep wishing I had went to her the first time I heard the clattering that I now know was her having a seizure. I didn't help her and it's ripping me open. I feel like strained peas. I ate an apple before bed and it was painful. My tongue and lips still tingle numb and it's like I kissed poison. Everything feels heavy and my head aches and my eyes are sticky from running out of tears. I didn't think I would be so effected by it. I knew it was coming. I know she's better now. I just...fuck.