Update
Well... its really over now... sometimes it seems unreal... like it a dream... me and James are past the being together stage and maybe trying to work things out... I can be alright with it but somehow it still makes me cry... maybe cause you just get so used to having someone here for so long... that once they leave.. reality hits... James slept at another girls house last night and is over there again tonight... They are actually going out now.. I haven't been alone at night since I dont know when... years... guess 2 nights in a row broke me... after he packed an overnight bad and closed the door i broke down... told him as he was leaving that I would be fine... I look like a train wreck... now dont get me wrong... I had a few dates before this too while we were doing the "date other people but still stay together" thing... but nothing that I did ever amounted to anything serious with feeling which is what he has now with this new girl... I guess I wasn't expecting him to have feelings for someone else so fast... that maybe I would have time to get used to the separation part... but thats ok.. I just need to find things to preoccupy my time now...