(no subject)
It has been a hard couple of weeks and I am hanging on by a thread. I haven't lost it yet and totally broke down...but I feel it a comin'
I am in holland now. I didn't realize how much of the east coast has warn off on me until I had left it. I miss the crazy liberals (because in many ways I have probably become one, at least in the way I talk if not in what I actually think...). I miss the way they will entertain any idea, even if just for a second and they way they admit they don't always have the exact right answer....that is something that kills me about home...when people think they are definately the holiest thing around.
I love this place, I do...it feels like home. But it is starting to feel like home in that way that flushing has felt for a long time. I love it, it was a great place, but revisiting for a long time feels a little strange and counter productive.
I miss my crazy social work friends that will let you say anything and not judge you. I miss the boys in 28 forest making inappropriate comments about...everything. I miss being around people who know that live is really hard. It feels weird to be having this secret, covert, hard time here in a place I love so much but is so unsatisfying and un-comforting now. It is like...if this was home, but isn't now...and flushing was home....but hasn't been for a long time...plus my parents are moving...and boston never was really home....then what? welcome to my life as a vagabond.
I am in holland now. I didn't realize how much of the east coast has warn off on me until I had left it. I miss the crazy liberals (because in many ways I have probably become one, at least in the way I talk if not in what I actually think...). I miss the way they will entertain any idea, even if just for a second and they way they admit they don't always have the exact right answer....that is something that kills me about home...when people think they are definately the holiest thing around.
I love this place, I do...it feels like home. But it is starting to feel like home in that way that flushing has felt for a long time. I love it, it was a great place, but revisiting for a long time feels a little strange and counter productive.
I miss my crazy social work friends that will let you say anything and not judge you. I miss the boys in 28 forest making inappropriate comments about...everything. I miss being around people who know that live is really hard. It feels weird to be having this secret, covert, hard time here in a place I love so much but is so unsatisfying and un-comforting now. It is like...if this was home, but isn't now...and flushing was home....but hasn't been for a long time...plus my parents are moving...and boston never was really home....then what? welcome to my life as a vagabond.