Did you know our souls graduate?
Some people really amaze me. The person in this entry is a woman i work with at Lowes. Her religious belief is realllly out there and after hearing her talk yesterday i just HAD to come and write about it. She believes God is male and female and that she was shown this as a young child in a dream. She believes that dreams you have are telling you more then you think, come to you to tell you about the future, the earth, God speaking to you and showing you a vision. I have to hold my tongue and my hole being to just sit in the break room when she goes off on one of her dreams and how God was telling her something. The thing that realllly gets me and this is what she was talking about yesterday is that in 2012 every person on Earth will be "graduating" from this planet to another one. The planet you go to depends on how well you have taught and trained your soul while here on Earth. Like not being jealous, living by the golden rule, etc etc. She even said there is one planet out there that has no sin, no evil on it. Oh my good gosh!!! She was talking to the wrong bunch though about it yesterday. Everyone in the break room then was all Christians. We all believe in Heaven and Hell and like one guy told her the only place beyond here that has no sin and no evil is Heaven. I asked her what will happen if in 2012 what they say does not happen? People believed the world was gonna end in 2000 and it never did? How does she know she is right? What evidence can she back it up with? She never answered the first ones about what will they think when in 2012 we are all still here and what they believe in never happens. LoL And the only things she has to back her evidence up is books written by people of today and a teacher she had back in HS that got her into this stuff. Alrighty then. I mean, you have the right to believe in whatever you want, but this is just crazy and wayyyy out there. Our evidence is from a book written by many and has lasted 1000 years. I think if it came down to it, we win that battle of evidence. LoL I don't know. But like me and this guy at work said, we just feel bad for her. She truly believes in this thing and tells everyone any chance she can about it all and im just like uck. I want to see her in 2012 and be like, what now? Were us humans not worthy or are you guys pushing the yr later or were you all just totally wrong?! I dont know.....it's just soooo hard to see people believing in this stuff that has been around for like 10 years or less and you see ours that has been around for a 1000. Why can't they see the truth? Why must people just be so anti-God and just push away common since that points to truth and never ending love and mercy? I just don't get it. But it feels so good to see that the majority of the people i work with believe in God, they are a Christian in some way, we just all go to different branches of churches. I love hearing them tell her that God is one, he is real, that one day as far as we know we will be up there in Heaven with him, and this evil, painful world will be long gone and we'll be living in eternity with him and all our loved ones!!!! Like they say, i for one cannot wait till that day. I'm enjoying my trip down here and i want to experience all i can before my time here is done, but what a glorious day that will be!! :)
Now, to a little update. Finally getting more hours at work. Up to 37 1/2. Woot Woot!! Im not put on as full time yet and im like grrrrr. If they dont by this fall, it will be time for me to say good bye. Like i say alllll the time i love the people i work with, they make my day sometimes, but i cant go through another winter with 11-18 hrs a week. Not with what i have planned and the goals i want to happen in the future. :)
[Before anyone reads this, I am not bashing my sister to make her look bad or gossip on here about her. I have told her everything that will be on here and it is my journal. I come here to write. Update you all on whats going on since i dont see much of y'all in person anymore. You already know me and my sis have issues and again she has heard all this earlier.] Ok, well this is an update from the last entry i put on here. She got totally pissed i wrote about her and she totally went off. I just wanted her to know i was sending the money and well when i put that she doesn't get back good to people, that was the truth, I didn't mean for it to be bashing or rude, but she took it that way. She wanted to talk on the phone and i just couldn't do it. I suck with confrontation in person. So, i wrote her an email explaining the whole money, mom birthday problem. Found out her email is not receiving good which she still does not believe and blames mine even after i sent her the email i got from aol saying hers had a problem receiving. :0 I also told her everything i have been feeling for years. Stuff i have only told momma and a few close pals through the years. Like how we are not close, but we pretend there is a bond there, i try and stay in touch, but after giving 75% and only getting 25% back gets old. she is family, but she does feel like a sister to me, how i don't think she cares about us, and etc etc. Ok, i lied above there is one thing i did not tell her, but i told mom that night. Now, i realllly do love my sis and i wish to God everyday that we were a little closer in age or something where we could have been close. I am really happy for her and the life she has chosen. She had goals, plans, and she worked her butt off and got what she wanted without anyone else's help. I look up to her in some ways. I'm jealous she knew what she wanted and she got it. I'm stuck in a boring life of work, eat, sleep, etc etc and i want more. I want challenge and i want bigger goals for myself, but i have no idea where to start or what i want to push myself in. But to get to the point. The scariest thing i have ever thought is that if i got a call today saying my sister had died in a car wreck or something i would be sad that a life ended, but there would be no personal feelings. Like i told her, she's like a long lost cousin. I hear about her life though momma, liza, and the occasional email from her every like 6 months. It's like a movie character i follow. But when it comes down to it, i dont know this person at all. It hurts, it sucks, its crazy, its scary, and its stupid. But that's how life dealt it and we can either try a little harder or we just end and see each other and be civil when she comes in for mom's sake. And that's the part that hurts the worst. Mom is in the middle. She loves us both with never ending love and she has to watch and hear her two babies fight. I'm still waiting for my email back from her. From there we will see. But it's been weeks since i sent mine and she told me in another one it will be a while. It just proves she can't take even 5 mins to fix something with her lil sis. I don't mind waiting, i want to know what she has to say, but as the days go by and by it just hurts. Whooooo
Last thing. Today it just hit me. I have the most wonderful boyfriend i could ever wish for. In a survey yesterday i wrote what makes me smile. And i just have to add so much more. My ring he gave me, how in the morning after his first alarm goes off he rolls over and grabs me tight and just holds me like there is no tomorrow, having breakfast together, seeing him walk through the door after work, when he finds my hand while we are in the car, when right after his shower he comes back in the room and before he gets ready for work he comes and gives me a hug, kiss, and tickles, watching him play his games and seeing how he gets soooo into them, watching him get better at guitar hero, the hug and kiss i get right before he leaves in the morning for work, when i get up before him in the morning for work and after i get ready i walk back into the room to say goodbye and he's there all cuddled up with my pillow because im not there, anytime i can make him smile, unexpected kisses, not to sound dirty, but when we make love, we're so in tune i just can't help but smile and just feel so loved. Soooo many things he can do just makes my day and makes me crack into a huge smile. I have sooo many ideas and plans for us and i hope to goodness he wants it to. I may be moving a little fast in my head, but i hope he can catch up in person in the future. LoL I just love this boy and today i just wanted him to see how much. Mwah!!!
Well, i'm off. Gave you some scary, hurt, and love. Not bad i have to say. Was a little bit of variety. LoL Later y'all.
Now, to a little update. Finally getting more hours at work. Up to 37 1/2. Woot Woot!! Im not put on as full time yet and im like grrrrr. If they dont by this fall, it will be time for me to say good bye. Like i say alllll the time i love the people i work with, they make my day sometimes, but i cant go through another winter with 11-18 hrs a week. Not with what i have planned and the goals i want to happen in the future. :)
[Before anyone reads this, I am not bashing my sister to make her look bad or gossip on here about her. I have told her everything that will be on here and it is my journal. I come here to write. Update you all on whats going on since i dont see much of y'all in person anymore. You already know me and my sis have issues and again she has heard all this earlier.] Ok, well this is an update from the last entry i put on here. She got totally pissed i wrote about her and she totally went off. I just wanted her to know i was sending the money and well when i put that she doesn't get back good to people, that was the truth, I didn't mean for it to be bashing or rude, but she took it that way. She wanted to talk on the phone and i just couldn't do it. I suck with confrontation in person. So, i wrote her an email explaining the whole money, mom birthday problem. Found out her email is not receiving good which she still does not believe and blames mine even after i sent her the email i got from aol saying hers had a problem receiving. :0 I also told her everything i have been feeling for years. Stuff i have only told momma and a few close pals through the years. Like how we are not close, but we pretend there is a bond there, i try and stay in touch, but after giving 75% and only getting 25% back gets old. she is family, but she does feel like a sister to me, how i don't think she cares about us, and etc etc. Ok, i lied above there is one thing i did not tell her, but i told mom that night. Now, i realllly do love my sis and i wish to God everyday that we were a little closer in age or something where we could have been close. I am really happy for her and the life she has chosen. She had goals, plans, and she worked her butt off and got what she wanted without anyone else's help. I look up to her in some ways. I'm jealous she knew what she wanted and she got it. I'm stuck in a boring life of work, eat, sleep, etc etc and i want more. I want challenge and i want bigger goals for myself, but i have no idea where to start or what i want to push myself in. But to get to the point. The scariest thing i have ever thought is that if i got a call today saying my sister had died in a car wreck or something i would be sad that a life ended, but there would be no personal feelings. Like i told her, she's like a long lost cousin. I hear about her life though momma, liza, and the occasional email from her every like 6 months. It's like a movie character i follow. But when it comes down to it, i dont know this person at all. It hurts, it sucks, its crazy, its scary, and its stupid. But that's how life dealt it and we can either try a little harder or we just end and see each other and be civil when she comes in for mom's sake. And that's the part that hurts the worst. Mom is in the middle. She loves us both with never ending love and she has to watch and hear her two babies fight. I'm still waiting for my email back from her. From there we will see. But it's been weeks since i sent mine and she told me in another one it will be a while. It just proves she can't take even 5 mins to fix something with her lil sis. I don't mind waiting, i want to know what she has to say, but as the days go by and by it just hurts. Whooooo
Last thing. Today it just hit me. I have the most wonderful boyfriend i could ever wish for. In a survey yesterday i wrote what makes me smile. And i just have to add so much more. My ring he gave me, how in the morning after his first alarm goes off he rolls over and grabs me tight and just holds me like there is no tomorrow, having breakfast together, seeing him walk through the door after work, when he finds my hand while we are in the car, when right after his shower he comes back in the room and before he gets ready for work he comes and gives me a hug, kiss, and tickles, watching him play his games and seeing how he gets soooo into them, watching him get better at guitar hero, the hug and kiss i get right before he leaves in the morning for work, when i get up before him in the morning for work and after i get ready i walk back into the room to say goodbye and he's there all cuddled up with my pillow because im not there, anytime i can make him smile, unexpected kisses, not to sound dirty, but when we make love, we're so in tune i just can't help but smile and just feel so loved. Soooo many things he can do just makes my day and makes me crack into a huge smile. I have sooo many ideas and plans for us and i hope to goodness he wants it to. I may be moving a little fast in my head, but i hope he can catch up in person in the future. LoL I just love this boy and today i just wanted him to see how much. Mwah!!!
Well, i'm off. Gave you some scary, hurt, and love. Not bad i have to say. Was a little bit of variety. LoL Later y'all.