26th august, 2008
Summer is about to end, and I have done almost nothing. It's sort of sad,
and people keep telling me that they feel sorry for me. Fuck them.
But I don't really mind. I've been waiting for school whole summer,
since everything is about to change. If I don't fail, then I'll be changing school
next year, move out and have a chance to start a new life.
At the moment, I am living in this small town, with small opportunities and
not much to do. Or well, there are some things to do, but I'm aiming higher.
I used to be part of everything. If there was anything going on, I'd be there.
But, it didn't get me anywhere. So I gave up. I left everything, and started waiting.
Waiting for 9th grade. Have always considered this as my last year in hell.
Last year, before the real life begins. But I am seriously afraid I will fail.
I will fail. And nothing changes. So again I've waited for nothing.
Have to admit, leaving everything has made me pretty anti social.
But is it a bad thing? They say friends make you what you are,
and why be a friend with someone you don't wanna be?
With someone who is using you for her/his own good and
trying you change you into her/him.
People are selfish. Especially people here.
It's Estonia. If you'd live here, you know that people here are selfish, cold, and open-minded people simply don't exist .
I've already made a promise to take everything from this year. Finally start doing my homework,
paying more attention and work hard on success. I have dreams, I have goals, Finally, I do.
Wish me luck.