Fuck My Homework. For now.
So, let's dramatically start with OH-MY-GOD. I don't think you understand.
OH
MY
GOD.
Ok, yeah. I think you get it now. Not to vent, or maybe so seeing as that is the point of livejournal, but my life my life. My fuckign life. I was talking with my good friend Matt. He made me feel so good, you know? My Chris Lee problem had been momentarily aleviated. is that the word? Who cares. Man, I'm trying not to cry, I'm trying to say everything I need to say before I explode. I'm at work (the library) and I'm with a coworker. So let me start over.
Chris Lee. I have recently admitted to a crush on Chris Lee. But this crush must STOP NOW. Oh my God. Breathe, breathe. Yes, Chris Lee. He is amazing, and like Button, we've shared many fantastic moments together. So I'm like, hmm, maybe this will go somewhere.
but no. I decided to go on his facebook, like fifteen or so minutes ago (give or take a few minutes of hysterical laugh-crying), and ended up on his girlfriend's myspace. The bigness. THE KRISTIN BIGNESS. She...I joked that she had to be this amazing girl to steal Chris Lee's heart, but I don't think I ever believed it. Until I went to this link: www.myspace.com/kristinbigness
It's a fucking myspace page how special could it be?
But then the music symbol comes up, and your heart starts to race. She can't possibly be a singer. Indie/Pop genre appears. She can't possibly be perfect. The song "Why Do You Want Me" starts to play. Here come the tears.
As I listen to the words, Kristin is humanized. Matt, I am 100% aware of my role in this movie. I am The Baxter. I am the girl, the nice girl, but no one is rooting for me. The audience has fallen in love with the amazing Kristin Bigness. And what do I have to offer? My shallow innocence. I hurt. I hurt, man. And it's taking all of my energy to keep from crying.
I'm listening to the song again, and now I have chills. She's singing about Chris Lee. My Chris Lee. How could I be so stupid?
Kristin, I'm sorry. I'm throwing in my white flag. I am so sorry.