Madness Part 1
Madness
Dark events bring many discworld characters together. Susan, Vetinari, Vimes, Angua, Death, the Librarian and the Wizards. And a few original characters of course. This is my first fan-fic ever, so I hope you like what I’ve written so far.
Disclaimer: Discworld and its characters are all Terry Pratchett’s of course and not mine
Chapter 1:
Scene 1:
“Doesn’t she have beautiful hair Susan?” Katerina said while brushing her new doll’s hair gently.
“Yes, she does,” Susan answered.
Katerina had received the doll only that day, as a birthday present from her parents. Today was the girl’s 6th birthday. The doll had long, shiny blond hair; just like Katerina. It looked very similar to what she imagined Katerina might look like in the future. Tall, perfect figure, questionable dress sense (that is, dressed all in pink), but well, all in all, very good looking. The only difference between the doll and the little girl was the colour of the eyes, as Katerina’s were huge and hazel, whereas the doll’s were blue.
“When I grow up, I want to be a princess, too!” the little girl giggled.
“I will be a princess and marry a very handsome prince. Every princess needs a prince, you know.”
“You know, you could easily make your own way in the world without the help of a prince, Katerina,” Susan said without emotion in her voice.
“You only say that because you aren’t a princess and therefore don’t have a prince,” Katerina said quite innocently.
That was the problem with kids, Susan reasoned, they could be so cruel without even knowing it. It had now been two and half years, she reflected, since she’d left her ‘prince’.
“Well, you’ve had quite an exciting day Katerina, you really should go to sleep now.”
“Susan, what if the bed bugs want to bite me again?” Katerina asked, using all her acting skills to inject a hint of terror into her voice.
Susan’s heart softened. Everyone’s heart did when faced with that pair of large brown eyes. Of all the children she had taught throughout her career, Katerina was the most well behaved and innocent of them all. Even so, she was of course still trying to deviously manipulate people into letting her stay up late every night.
Susan shook her head, “They won’t bite you tonight. There, right next to your bed on your bedside table is a pin cushion. Remember how I taught you to stab them with those needles?”
She waited for the little girl to nod before she continued, “They won’t forget that lesson in a while. You probably won’t be bothered, the pin cushion alone will scare them. Now go to sleep.”
The little girl nodded her head and pulled the covers up towards her. Even Susan had to admit, she was a bit of an angel.
“Susan?”
Well, except that she never wanted to go to bed and kept asking questions every five seconds.
“Yes, Katerina?”
“Don’t you think we should tuck Princess in as well?”
Susan rolled her eyes, but she still went to pick up the doll and tuck her in next to Katerina. She was paid to teach the child not nanny it.
“Now go to sleep, no more tricks.”
Susan kissed Katerina good night.
As Susan descended the stairs to wish Lady Contandi goodnight, she reflected upon the fact that the interior decoration of the house reflected Lord Contandi’s character very well indeed. Large oil paintings of his illustrious ancestors hung on every wall, books detailing military campaigns his family had taken part in were arranged effectively on the book shelves. Twerp’s peerage lay open on a table in the hall. By the looks of things, and Susan admitted she wasn’t the best judge in this area, the carpets were imported from Klatch and very fine indeed.
For two and half years now Susan had worked as a governess for quite a few of Ankh-Morpork’s lords and ladies. Unlike a traditional governess, she had her own accommodation in the city and merely visited the various families in order to teach their children. Her employers were generally quite rich and tended to view anyone who couldn’t trace their ancestors back at least 500 years as a ‘thing’ not worth speaking to. It was the fact that she was the current Duchess of Sto Helit that had secured her her recent string of lucrative jobs. This family was the only one she was currently working with, though, but it seemed a few more appointments were just around the corner.
Lord Bernard Contandi was so determined to demonstrate that his family was still wealthy and important, that he insisted on living beyond the means of most of the Discworld’s kings. His only daughter’s birthday party had been incredibly extravagant and lavish. She wondered how they could afford that. Her eyes darted towards a few bronze candle sticks, which had recently appeared to replace the gold ones. Of course no one was meant to notice that. Lord Contandi would rather die than admit that the golden age of the aristocracy might have come to an end under Vetinari.
“How’s Katerina doing?” Lady Contandi asked as Susan entered the sitting room.
“She likes her new presents. They are very nice indeed, though not exactly educational.”
“Hm. They are of the highest quality, from the best toy-maker in Ankh-Morpork. Ah, I do worry some times...”
“Yes?”
Susan waited for an explanation, but it seemed the Lady Contandi hadn’t really been engaging conversation with her. She was focusing on some point in the distance behind Susan.
What was the point in having better people skills, really? Susan decided it hadn’t really made that much difference to her life. She may now be able to recognise that other people were more than just temporarily assorted dust particles, but the conversations she was having with them, weren’t really worth the effort.
When Lady Contandi duly returned her attention to the present she nodded at Susan, “Well, you’re still young, only 19?”
“More like 23.”
“Yes, very young. Not many problems in your life yet, you wouldn’t understand. You still think life is a ... a giant cake. All you have to do is eat it.”
Susan actually blinked. Who did this woman think she was and was she coming down with a fever? Did she realise she was addressing Susan and not her daughter?
Lady Contandi, still staring off into the distance, finally continued, “Good night, Miss Sto Helit. I suppose... Lord Contandi will be back soon.”
Ah, so that’s what she was worrying about, Susan thought.
The little girl’s birthday was in the middle of summer, and so the sun had only just set on the Discworld. The light was still slowly draining out of the city as Susan walked home. And Susan wondered not for the first time why she was here. Why was she not with Lobsang, wondering around eternity as she had for the last 15 years? Her mind at least was older than Lady Contandi gave her credit. Ah yes, she’d wanted a normal life, as a human. That was why she’d left Lobsang. She sighed. It had been the right decision, for the two of them to part ways, it still was. Their relationship had run its course. It still hurt terribly though. It pained her right now that she wasn’t with him. In the end, there had been no more he could offer her, as he couldn’t join her here in Ankh-Morpork as a human and live a... sigh... normal life.
Scene 2:
The corridors of the student halls of residence of the Unseen University were dark and empty. This was because midnight had long gone and most students were out enjoying Ankh-Morpork’s night life. They’d only come back to sleep off their hangovers once the sun went up.
Tonight though, one young student was standing in a corridor on the 2nd floor, next to a window facing the university. A little light from a street lamp in the road outside illuminated his face. The skin on his forehead was damp. As he clasped his hands together, he realised his palms were sweaty, too. He couldn’t stop fidgeting and had to stop himself from putting his hands in his pockets. He closed his eyes and hugged himself tightly at the thought of what he was carrying in his pocket. The young student wizard peered out of the window. Then he thought he heard a sound behind him. He turned round instantly. Nothing, he must have been mistaken. He could hear his heart beating against his ribcage furiously. His gaze returned to the street outside. A man in a dark coat walked along it.
“Reuben,” a voice whispered in his ear.
The student wizard named Reuben jumped a few feet into the air and gasped. It felt as though his body was glued to the spot, so he didn’t turn around. Instead he refocused his eyes and looked at his reflection in the window pane. In it, he saw that a tall man was standing right behind him. The man’s face was dominated by his extraordinarily large cauliflower shaped nose.
Reuben’s breaths were coming in short, high pitched gasps now.
“Do you have it?” the man asked.
The wizard squeaked and nodded.
“Excellent,” the man said. His E’s were slightly aspirated, though not so much as to make them H’s. This man wasn’t trying to be posh, he actually was posh. The man grinned. Until then, Reuben’s eyes had been wide with fear, but he had to close his eyes, as he couldn’t bare the sight of his debtor’s grin. The whole of his face was one big grin, from his teeth to his eyes.
“Well, then. Hand it over,” the man said gruffly.
Reuben realised he had been holding his breath... he let it out in another short gasp.
“Hand it over now, and I will ... forget the little matter of your debt. Neither I, nor Chrysoprase, will come looking for you ever again. Unless of course,” he laughed quietly, “you should end up playing cards with us and betting more money than you actually have,” he paused and then added carefully, “again.”
He tightened his grip on Reuben's shoulder as he said this and dug his fingertips into the young student’s shoulder.
Reuben gulped hard.
“I’ve got it here.”
He reached into his robe and pulled a small velvet money bag out of his inside pocket. The sack made a noise that sounded disturbingly like a personal insult towards his mother.
He handed it over to the lord behind him. Still not daring to turn around and look him in the face.
“So how does it work?”
“I, I... I don’t know. You told me to get it, I knew where it was as Ponder had been working on it for quite some time. My mate was in his ‘magical discovery aid group’. I don’t know how to use it.”
He closed his eyes and his muscles instinctively steeled themselves for a violent reprove.
“Do you know what it is capable of?” The lord growled into his ear in a startlingly soft tone.
“Sort of,” he answered, and then added, as that didn’t seem to be the answer the lord behind him was waiting for, “It’s like a huge encyclopaedia. One that you don’t need to write first though.”
“How accurate is it?”
“As accurate as the questions you can come up with, I suppose.”
“If I gave you some money now, for you efforts, would it be able to tell me how you will spend it?”
Reuben gave this some thought, then hesitantly ventured, “No, it can’t tell the future, or look into other dimensions, or calculate anything for that matter. I think, I’m not sure. But, but it knows all about the present. Anything in the present. Or past... I think.”
He squeaked, he hope that wasn’t the wrong answer. The right answer being which ever one kept him alive the longest.
The man banged Reuben's head against the corridor wall where the student crumbled up and slid down the wall. A few seconds later a heavy bag of coins smacked into Reuben's body.
“Take that and make sure you drink enough to forget the last few days.”
Reuben had every intention of following that order. The last few days had seen him fall into debt when gambling with not only that man, but also with Chrysoprase. How had that happened? He was always so careful when he cheated. His head hurt form the impact and he didn’t dare move yet. That bloody posh aristocrat had threatened to have him kicked out of university and incarcerated if he didn’t pay up or steal this new device that Ponder had been working on. Things had just gone wrong so badly, how had he ended up a thief all of a sudden? At least there was a chance that no one would ever find out who stole the device. Better than his chances against Chrysoprase anyway. Reuben’s sighed. He really needed a stiff drink. Best head down to the drum and forget about it all.
Scene 3:
Vimes crossed the road so that he could get away from the smell of the damp, burnt out wreckage. The once proud mansion house, just a few doors down from the Ramkin mansion on the most exclusive street in Ankh, was now nothing more than a burnt-out shell. The fire had raged all throughout the night and the fire crews had only just left the scene [1]. Now his men (and women) and dwarfs and trolls and ... yes, there was probably an imp somewhere too, had moved in to assess the situation. It was not looking good. The neighbours had reported the fire, not the occupants. None of the occupants were anywhere to be found as it turned out. Vimes pitied the officers he had sent into the house. Cheery had gone in along with Detritus in order to protect her from falling rafters and rubble. Angua was also on her way. He had already questioned the neighbours of course. There had been a huge birthday party. Everyone had been invited it seemed, well he hadn’t, but whatever. It had finished early afternoon and the fire had broken out later that night, around midnight probably.
Nobby joined him: “Here’s a copy of this mornin’s time, sir. Thought you might wanna look at it, seein’ as how it’s coverin’ the fire and ev’rything.”
“Thank you, Nobby,” Vimes said and took the paper from him.
The fire had indeed made the front page of the Ankh-Morpork times. Vimes marvelled at how De Word managed to write an article on this fire which was lamenting the fact it had taken place and what a tragedy it was/might turn out to be, but on the other hand still manage to include a heavy dose of politics and personal criticism against the Lord Contandi, who’s house it was.
“Have you seen Angua, Nobby?”
“No, sir! Came straight here after my patrol tonight. Knew you’d be here and would appreciate a copy of the news.”
“De Word’s background information on the family was useful. Heavily in debt, staunch aristocrats and hated Vetinari’s guts. Blamed him for the demise of the aristocracy. I wonder how he managed to find out about those heavy debts so quickly?”
“Wouldn’t know sir. I’m sure he has his sources though.”
“Ah, that must be the governess,” Vimes said as he caught sight of Captain Carrot and a young girl with white hair.
Well, it was white apart from one streak. Maybe she wasn’t as young as she first seemed either. Vimes couldn’t make up his mind as to her age really.
“Susan Sto Helit, nice to meet you, Commander.”
She extended her hand towards his. Vimes shook it and turned to the burnt-out mansion.
“I’ve already talked to the neighbours. They informed me that you would probably have been the last to leave the house after the birthday party yesterday. Does that sound about right?”
“Yes, I left at sunset. About 8 o’clock. The Lady Contandi and her daughter were in the house when I left, but Lord Contandi disappeared just after the birthday celebrations were over. She seemed quite put off by this, so I put Katerina to bed, before saying good bye.”
Susan looked over at the wreckage and asked, “Who was in the house?”
Vimes was shocked by the lack of hysterical crying he had expected from the governess. This wasn’t your usual governess he concluded, or was he thinking of nannies?
“The Captain has already informed me that none of the family can be found anywhere,” Susan added.
“We should know very soon who, if anyone, was inside,” Vimes responded equally gravely.
At that moment two of his officers could be seen exiting the burnt-out shell. He had been correct. Cheery and Detritus’ job had not been an enviable one.
“Two bodies, sir. One young child. The other one, probably the lady of the house,” Cheery reported.
Vimes looked over to Susan and noticed how her jaw was set hard and her eyes were fixed on the house. So she did care, Vimes thought. He was relieved.
“We don’t know yet what caused the fire, but it started at the back of the mansion and slowly made its way towards the front of the building,” Cheery continued.
“Both mother and daughter seem to have died in their beds, that’s all I can say. Sir, I would like permission for Igor to look at the bodies. I am not convinced that they died in the fire. It seems odd that they would have slept through it. Especially the child. Children breath very shallowly. It... takes a lot longer for them to die of smoke inhalation. The sound the blaze at the rear of the mansion should have woken her up. We can’t be sure though, of course. I just want to make sure, sir.”
“Did the family have many enemies?” Vimes asked Susan.
“Well, I don’t think I can tell you anything that the neighbours won’t have told you already. Lord Contandi hated the new order of the city under Lord Vetinari.”
“He was also in a lot of debt, according to the Times. Did you know that Susan?”
“No, I didn’t. It makes sense though. Everything he bought seemed expensive and he lavished his daughter with gifts. I noticed a few gold pieces being replaced with brass ones a while back. I suppose that could have been to pay off some debts.”
“Ah, there’s Angua.”
Angua ran up towards them.
“Sir, Lord Vetinari is gone,” she panted. At this point Vimes was glad he was wearing a helmet. Otherwise he might have just pulled out all his hair.
“What do you mean, gone?”
“On my way here, I bumped into Drumknott, who was hysterical. Really. He said Lord Vetiniari had been abducted. So I came straight here to you with the news. Drumknott is waiting for us at the palace.”
Vimes left the scene of destruction. Angua and Susan followed him as he headed off towards the palace. Vimes wasn’t even aware that Susan was part of the party until they arrived at the palace. He’d been too busy ‘being a copper’. He’d tried to make connections. There didn’t seem to be any between the fire and Lord Vetinari disappearing. Lord Contandi hated Vetinari, as did everyone in the city, that was about as good as the connection got. He still had a bad feeling about it all, though. He was a suspicious bastard after all.
[1] Soon all the fire crews in Ankh arrived, checked the brass plaque on the gate and about half of them left again because the family had only paid in-sewer-ants to the largest local fire services.