"..sadness is beautiful but lonlieness is tragical so help me, i cant win this war.."
well, my uncle leaves tomorrow for Iraq. and when he comes home, I will be graduated and out of highschool. it's sort of hard to see myself then, if i'll be more grown up, what have gone one while he was gone, how big his children have gotten. it's really, really hard. we're all growing up so fast, and no one ever lives as they want to. as a child, a pre teen, a teen, until they realize it's too late. and, it just sucks. i found out some pretty harsh and hurting news the other day from my aunt, so i'm pretty down. i guess i'm just not, upset about anything is because it's life, and i have my friends right now. and that's all i ask for. just, everything's moving so fast. or maybe i'm moving too slow? i've been known to walk slow, you know. i don't know i've just been, not in a shocked mood but in a calm shocked, about things that have been going on. michael is getting surgery for his adnoids, so that's another one. even the smallest things bother me. just knowing that the 1% in the 1% out of 100% had happened to me before, i can't trust anything like that again. it really sucks.
"..that's why i'm wondering why
you had to tell me,
what's going on; what's wrong
come around to another time when you,
don't have to run.
and when she says she wants somebody else;
i hope you know,
that she doesn't mean you.."
i love that song. i love his voice. i miss jersey boy. :\ whatever happened to wasting money and loose change on phonecards? there are things in life, you just don't want to let go, but you have to. i think for my new years resolution, i want to broaden my horizon and expand my vocabulary. i need to go to church or something. i want to believe in something again, and it sucks when you have the feeling of being unsure of something. because both sides balance out and make sense but you don't know what side is really true. i apologize for my ramblings, but i must. i haven't done it in a while. i want to start writing again. lay in my bed with beautiful music and peer through the blinds to see the moon shining through. i miss that. i'm so silly. i want tacos. i want a lover, i don't have to love. ashley got me retro earrings for a christmas present but i haven't seen her since the beginning of break. oh, and a new york cd. :] it was thoughtful of her. i'm going to get some things for her as well, for everything she's done for me this year, she defintely deserves it. i've missed her, and it was nice seeing her today.<3 :]
"i had to go to the hospital" "how come?" "my dog wouldn't stop shitting everywhere" "BAHAHAH:SDKLFJSD:F" "uh..what?" "nothing erica" "no, i'm being serious. the vet was closed so we had to take her to the hospital" "okay erica"
i wish i had the motivations for things. i have these brilliant ideas to make somebody so, speechless, i just have no transportation. bleck, tonight's not a great night. kate's coming over after treble choir tomorrow and we're making music videos like old times. i've missed it, so it's about time. january, it's the start of when the months pass and school starts to end and summer starts. a whole new feeling, and a whole new life. riverdotchy.
"..that's why i'm wondering why
you had to tell me,
what's going on; what's wrong
come around to another time when you,
don't have to run.
and when she says she wants somebody else;
i hope you know,
that she doesn't mean you.."
i love that song. i love his voice. i miss jersey boy. :\ whatever happened to wasting money and loose change on phonecards? there are things in life, you just don't want to let go, but you have to. i think for my new years resolution, i want to broaden my horizon and expand my vocabulary. i need to go to church or something. i want to believe in something again, and it sucks when you have the feeling of being unsure of something. because both sides balance out and make sense but you don't know what side is really true. i apologize for my ramblings, but i must. i haven't done it in a while. i want to start writing again. lay in my bed with beautiful music and peer through the blinds to see the moon shining through. i miss that. i'm so silly. i want tacos. i want a lover, i don't have to love. ashley got me retro earrings for a christmas present but i haven't seen her since the beginning of break. oh, and a new york cd. :] it was thoughtful of her. i'm going to get some things for her as well, for everything she's done for me this year, she defintely deserves it. i've missed her, and it was nice seeing her today.<3 :]
"i had to go to the hospital" "how come?" "my dog wouldn't stop shitting everywhere" "BAHAHAH:SDKLFJSD:F" "uh..what?" "nothing erica" "no, i'm being serious. the vet was closed so we had to take her to the hospital" "okay erica"
i wish i had the motivations for things. i have these brilliant ideas to make somebody so, speechless, i just have no transportation. bleck, tonight's not a great night. kate's coming over after treble choir tomorrow and we're making music videos like old times. i've missed it, so it's about time. january, it's the start of when the months pass and school starts to end and summer starts. a whole new feeling, and a whole new life. riverdotchy.