my ear hurts--i'm sure it's nothing wine can't fix

[autumn_eyez]

 so last night dan and i went out to old c's after dinner with his parents.  i felt like i'd been being very solitary lately and i could use a night of really silly fun with friends.  also i was EXAUSTED hahaha.  i had stayed up till 12 watching olympic gymnastics the night before

Comments

Part 3

[isabel_archer79]

Think of it like this - you know how sometimes you need Dan to do something (and in this scenario you’re sober so you are NOT picking a crazy fight and throwing your show at him, hahahaha), so you know that the easiest way to get it done is to sort of suggest it in such a way that even though Dan KNOWS it’s your idea, he can sort of save face by pretending it was his idea? Yeah, I’m betting that you must do that a bunch, haha… So, ok, with boys and debates it’s the same kind of thing.

And I guess there is a silver lining, which is this, as much as it sucks to be the only one in the room who has to adhere to all of these rules, and the only one who can’t express disagreement as straightforwardly as you would like, there is a part of the boys’ brains that does get what’s happening. And if you keep it up, they will realize that you have been a voice of reason, that your opinions are worthwhile, and that a lot of the ideas they take credit for were actually your ideas. As they realize this they will start to treat you better, they will recognize you as an equal.

So sure, it’s shitty - just like the double standard of sexual behavior for women is shitty - but ultimately I don’t think any of us (women) have found a way around it yet. I generally force both issues (sex and equality) a little further than most people, and in return I get called a “dyke” by all the men who can’t accept it. So how you chose to deal with it is always totally up to you, but now hopefully you maybe see a little more clearly the challenges that you’re facing, and also you know what I, and many women like me, have chosen to do. Basically, men condescend to weakness, respond to strength, and rebel against cuckolding. You’ve got to hit that middle ground just right if you want to command their respect.

And as for the last part: When you’re wondering if any of you’re friends are still going to be there when you go through all these changes you’ve got in front of you, when you do all this growing up - remember that I will be. In fact, I’m super looking forward to it : ) And when you’re trying to remember where you’re fantastic is - well, I can always see it - so stop seeing yourself the way Grover sees you, and start seeing yourself the way that I see you. A mirror never reflects the truth, it only reflects the version of the truth that you were expecting to see in the first place - if you expect to see fat, you see fat, if you expect to see thin, you see thin, if you stare at your nose for hours it starts to look huge, and that same way, if you see yourself as unheard or unwanted, you will be come that as well. So color your reflection so that you see it the way that you want it to be, not the way that you’re afraid it could be.

Oh, and above all, never take yourself too seriously, if you can’t laugh with yourself, no one else can laugh with you.

Love and love and love.
- L