and in the end
i've never been very good at goodbyes. this applies to all things big and small, living and inanimate, and even things like tv shows. so even though it feels rather silly to write a sappy entry about something that isn't even real, i can't help but pay a small little homage to er.
fifteen years of my life it has been a constant for me. we had our moments of not getting along - i was either too busy or it was too much a shadow of its former self. i hated it for that, most of all. the show was something special from the start, and i didn't want to see it go down the drain so meekly. but this last season it redeemed itself. yet again i found myself anxious for thursdays at 10.
as i've traveled down the nostalgic path the final season placed in front of me, visiting beloved characters long since gone, i had to think back to how much my own circumstances have changed through these years. all the different places i've called home and sat in the darkness watching it. er was my friend. i learned from its story, even though it wasn't meant to teach. it made me laugh and cry, feel love and anger, and everything else you're supposed to gather from a meaningful experience. i couldn't ask for anything more.
i love stories, but i hate finishing a good book because i know i'll never be able to read it for the first time again. and so it's bittersweet for me to say goodbye to this show, because i know nothing will ever quite fill it's place. and as i say goodbye to it, i say goodbye to another era of my life.