Conversation with my Mother #2: The Birthday Trip to Seattle
Me: ...So then we went to Toys in Babeland-
Mom: [nervous giggle]
Me: -which we were all really excited about, but... [sigh] I dunno, it started making me feel kinda depressed. I mean, the last time I went there, it was a different situation- I was with Sid and it was my first time buying a sex toy. But now that I have a couple sex toys, there's not much else there for guys besides things that I'd want to enjoy with another person. So I'm surrounded by vibrating cock rings and dildo harnesses, and I have no one to share them with-
Mom: Uh, Charlie? I think that was too much information.
Me: [eyes widen] Oh my god, did I- oh my god-
Mom: Charlie, sex is an expression of love between two people. It isn't meant to be fun or a game. Sex is not an Olympic event.
Me: [still shocked that my filter is so open that I actually talked about sex toys with my asexual mother] Ummm, no it isn't an Olympic event, but I view sex toys as a way for people to simply have fun and enjoy themselves.
Mom: Well, like I said, it's not about having fun. USE A CONDOM!
Me: [cringing from being treated like i don't know anything] of course...
Mom: Good, I'm glad we had this discussion about sex. We haven't really talked about it like this before- had to make sure I got my two cents in. Let's change the subject.
Mom: [nervous giggle]
Me: -which we were all really excited about, but... [sigh] I dunno, it started making me feel kinda depressed. I mean, the last time I went there, it was a different situation- I was with Sid and it was my first time buying a sex toy. But now that I have a couple sex toys, there's not much else there for guys besides things that I'd want to enjoy with another person. So I'm surrounded by vibrating cock rings and dildo harnesses, and I have no one to share them with-
Mom: Uh, Charlie? I think that was too much information.
Me: [eyes widen] Oh my god, did I- oh my god-
Mom: Charlie, sex is an expression of love between two people. It isn't meant to be fun or a game. Sex is not an Olympic event.
Me: [still shocked that my filter is so open that I actually talked about sex toys with my asexual mother] Ummm, no it isn't an Olympic event, but I view sex toys as a way for people to simply have fun and enjoy themselves.
Mom: Well, like I said, it's not about having fun. USE A CONDOM!
Me: [cringing from being treated like i don't know anything] of course...
Mom: Good, I'm glad we had this discussion about sex. We haven't really talked about it like this before- had to make sure I got my two cents in. Let's change the subject.