the hell that is my life
so...
tony is coming back monday night. i just got off the phone with him. i do not feel as excited as i should feel, or as excited as i thought i would be. i dont know. the past few times ive talked to him on the phone things have just felt weird and odd. sorta...forced. i dont like it. not at all. and it bothers me that im not as excited to see him as i feel like i should be. but i cant help that. he said something tonight that got to me. two things, actually. one, he asked why i was so tired, and i said its because ive only been getting 2-3 hours of sleep a night for over the past 2 weeks. he said i never did that when he was here. then he asked what ive been doing up so late, and i said drinking...and he said, have you been playing any of those freaky games like what katie was playing that one night. he means spin the bottle or something, from moseleys, but he wouldnt tell me that, and i wasnt volunteering that i knew what he was talking about. i pretended like i didnt know what game he meant. and then i said we have just been playing asshole and quarters. not i never, cause i never is a dangerous game. i think he was a little irked that i said i had been over at moe's pretty much every night since ive been here too. oh well. i feel surprsingly apathetic about the whole situation right now, just very annoyed and frustrated for reasons unknown to me.
i hope to god things will be okay when he gets back...i hope im just lonely and shit, and missing him...who knows...i hate doubting everything.
im going to sleep. for the first time in forever, i actually do not have to get up tomorrow for anything! horray!
tony is coming back monday night. i just got off the phone with him. i do not feel as excited as i should feel, or as excited as i thought i would be. i dont know. the past few times ive talked to him on the phone things have just felt weird and odd. sorta...forced. i dont like it. not at all. and it bothers me that im not as excited to see him as i feel like i should be. but i cant help that. he said something tonight that got to me. two things, actually. one, he asked why i was so tired, and i said its because ive only been getting 2-3 hours of sleep a night for over the past 2 weeks. he said i never did that when he was here. then he asked what ive been doing up so late, and i said drinking...and he said, have you been playing any of those freaky games like what katie was playing that one night. he means spin the bottle or something, from moseleys, but he wouldnt tell me that, and i wasnt volunteering that i knew what he was talking about. i pretended like i didnt know what game he meant. and then i said we have just been playing asshole and quarters. not i never, cause i never is a dangerous game. i think he was a little irked that i said i had been over at moe's pretty much every night since ive been here too. oh well. i feel surprsingly apathetic about the whole situation right now, just very annoyed and frustrated for reasons unknown to me.
i hope to god things will be okay when he gets back...i hope im just lonely and shit, and missing him...who knows...i hate doubting everything.
im going to sleep. for the first time in forever, i actually do not have to get up tomorrow for anything! horray!