Wonderwall Drum N' Bass Remix
I am only updating because I saw Leon Sadler's post on his Facebook linking to shis recently updated livejournal. It is very hard for me to update it and it has little to do with moving on to and becoming familiar with more convenient platforms. Nearly everything I write in my own privacy is delayed and stunted by word choices, over-analyzed for contradictions or poor syntax. It's not really fun and I generally have to be in a very particular mood and/or have a lucky day when it so happens that I am able to express myself well in words.
I wish I could write so freely again, without so much self-awareness, analysis of experiences and of thoughts on experiences. I've certainly tried to recapture the excitement I felt in the past. Nowadays it is impossible, however, as the Internet and reality are eating each other. More self-awareness means more distrust, and more misery in general probably. I can't shake the gut-feeling that less observant people are happier than me, even though they are often absorbed by pop culture - it seems to be an efficient distraction. I have my own distractions, many of which bother me in my thoughts. But I really don't want this journal entry to be boring complaining, nor do I want it to be self-analytical prose, nor bare-bones news about art and maybe (if you're lucky) life in general drivel.
It's easy to stay off social media these days, and even easier to avoid paying any mind to livejournal. I hate how social media has turned the masses into activists/talking heads/mini-celebrities. Social Media further fuels the fire of entitled self-importance by allowing for broadcasting of immediate emotional reaction. Feeling-types are easily sucked into vortexes of left or right American political ideologies. For the thinker there is perhaps a bit more time to consider which side to join, but these days, one feels quite pressured to join 1 of 2 zombie ideologies, and I absolutely detest being told that I must sacrifice myself for the "greater good" in accordance with the stagnant ideals of either camp. It reminds me of religious wars, religious zealotry, and religious fundamentalist arguments ("you must play by my rules because my belief system is ultimate truth") Maybe for you it is ultimate truth, but for me, American right vs. left identity politics is a powder keg consisting of delusional and emotionally unstable individuals. I know I cannot avoid being consumed by the explosion but I feel no responsibility to participate.
Context is important of course. Maybe America is just a lot more volatile and backwards than a lot of other places, culturally-speaking. I cannot be sure, but ideally I would go live on a little island somewhere, and I suppose if/or when the food stops being shipped over and the lights go out for good, I would either die or make do and then die later.
LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME ROCK'N ROLL
In contrast to all of the above bitching about things, I am making promising large-sized drawings again at the moment. A rare optimistic moment. Reflecting on that sentence I think how naive it is, as I haven't even yet begun the heavy coloring in of annoying elements: walls, floors, bodies of water, zoomed in faces. I bet that many sketches will not survive. For the most part, coloring in drawings completely is very tiresome and dull. Markers have their own set of annoyances but are still preferable to paint 'cause I never really learned how to paint using different brushes or anything. I am going to add a little bit of paint to these large pieces however; I enjoy blending colors together and people seem to enjoy colorful drawings as opposed to plain old line drawing. Also, since nearly everyone that I've ever talked to about my art encourages me to make bigger pieces, I will be very pleased to present the material I finish. Granted all pieces will be in Japan, and I won't be able to scan them, and nothing will be monumental in scale;-p
Don't tell anyone but I'm kind of sad that summer is coming to a close. Driving to and from work is much easier when school is not in session, and perhaps on account of the environment I work in I have really been enjoying Mexican beer and Mexican-style craft beer with lime and salt. To make matters worse, I have only just started to make mezcal cocktails, and I'm still deep in a Balearic listening rut. A very mellow summer on the surface, so long as I'm in my little glass container. Looking outside, my internal stress is better represented: people shouting down one another with neck and head veins popping out and fists swinging, car horns honking all over, emergency sirens crying, etc. I still dislike the hot weather and the way it affects me physically and mentally, but the season possesses the potential for magic, whereas other seasons, reliant on illusory "holiday magic," now seem to possess zero nostalgia.
My Top Summer Jams For 2017 right now consists of yuppie music tried-and-true. It is pathetic in a way that is hard to explain even though I'm writing this with my hair in a tiny ponytail while wearing a collared t-shirt (you'd think I would understand it). It's got something to do with becoming a softened version of your teenage ideal.
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I wish I could write so freely again, without so much self-awareness, analysis of experiences and of thoughts on experiences. I've certainly tried to recapture the excitement I felt in the past. Nowadays it is impossible, however, as the Internet and reality are eating each other. More self-awareness means more distrust, and more misery in general probably. I can't shake the gut-feeling that less observant people are happier than me, even though they are often absorbed by pop culture - it seems to be an efficient distraction. I have my own distractions, many of which bother me in my thoughts. But I really don't want this journal entry to be boring complaining, nor do I want it to be self-analytical prose, nor bare-bones news about art and maybe (if you're lucky) life in general drivel.
It's easy to stay off social media these days, and even easier to avoid paying any mind to livejournal. I hate how social media has turned the masses into activists/talking heads/mini-celebrities. Social Media further fuels the fire of entitled self-importance by allowing for broadcasting of immediate emotional reaction. Feeling-types are easily sucked into vortexes of left or right American political ideologies. For the thinker there is perhaps a bit more time to consider which side to join, but these days, one feels quite pressured to join 1 of 2 zombie ideologies, and I absolutely detest being told that I must sacrifice myself for the "greater good" in accordance with the stagnant ideals of either camp. It reminds me of religious wars, religious zealotry, and religious fundamentalist arguments ("you must play by my rules because my belief system is ultimate truth") Maybe for you it is ultimate truth, but for me, American right vs. left identity politics is a powder keg consisting of delusional and emotionally unstable individuals. I know I cannot avoid being consumed by the explosion but I feel no responsibility to participate.
Context is important of course. Maybe America is just a lot more volatile and backwards than a lot of other places, culturally-speaking. I cannot be sure, but ideally I would go live on a little island somewhere, and I suppose if/or when the food stops being shipped over and the lights go out for good, I would either die or make do and then die later.
LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME ROCK'N ROLL
In contrast to all of the above bitching about things, I am making promising large-sized drawings again at the moment. A rare optimistic moment. Reflecting on that sentence I think how naive it is, as I haven't even yet begun the heavy coloring in of annoying elements: walls, floors, bodies of water, zoomed in faces. I bet that many sketches will not survive. For the most part, coloring in drawings completely is very tiresome and dull. Markers have their own set of annoyances but are still preferable to paint 'cause I never really learned how to paint using different brushes or anything. I am going to add a little bit of paint to these large pieces however; I enjoy blending colors together and people seem to enjoy colorful drawings as opposed to plain old line drawing. Also, since nearly everyone that I've ever talked to about my art encourages me to make bigger pieces, I will be very pleased to present the material I finish. Granted all pieces will be in Japan, and I won't be able to scan them, and nothing will be monumental in scale;-p
Don't tell anyone but I'm kind of sad that summer is coming to a close. Driving to and from work is much easier when school is not in session, and perhaps on account of the environment I work in I have really been enjoying Mexican beer and Mexican-style craft beer with lime and salt. To make matters worse, I have only just started to make mezcal cocktails, and I'm still deep in a Balearic listening rut. A very mellow summer on the surface, so long as I'm in my little glass container. Looking outside, my internal stress is better represented: people shouting down one another with neck and head veins popping out and fists swinging, car horns honking all over, emergency sirens crying, etc. I still dislike the hot weather and the way it affects me physically and mentally, but the season possesses the potential for magic, whereas other seasons, reliant on illusory "holiday magic," now seem to possess zero nostalgia.
My Top Summer Jams For 2017 right now consists of yuppie music tried-and-true. It is pathetic in a way that is hard to explain even though I'm writing this with my hair in a tiny ponytail while wearing a collared t-shirt (you'd think I would understand it). It's got something to do with becoming a softened version of your teenage ideal.