Band of Balrogs
Christmas Meditation
Christmas is just another day in my reality program, so I went for a walk to get away from the Internet and meditated in the park (it was empty, for once). I experienced an odd feeling of spinning around while deep into meditation. Due to the novelty of the spinning sensation, the mind began clawing its way back to the surface of my attention in order to conceptualize what was happening. Once that conceptualization began, the whirling ceased and the meditation was broken by commentary. Naturally, I tried to reacquire the sensation but soon gave up as I was, at that point, no longer meditating.
I don't really address meditation on social media, nor on livejournal, because I fail to maintain a steady meditation routine and therefore, most of the time, have nothing to write on it. I also want to avoid entering into an online discourse on meditation because there are many different ideas about what it is, many different methods, many different expectations, and so on. As I've never read more than 1 or 2 books on the subject, I am not very well educated. I did not truly learn to meditate, but rather attempted to relax and stop all thought. In the process of doing this, and growing extremely frustrated, I picked up various tips (bits of methods) and tricks (sensory deprivation, binaural beats, etc). While I have definitely encountered an inner-sense of well-being, and while it has sometimes been accompanied by a generally positive emotional surge, any such "results" are fleeting. Intuitively, it seems that trying to "hold on" to such feelings, especially without any context, is a fast track to losing grip on the state of inner silence. Not that there is anything wrong with meditating on divine waves of cosmic bliss, for example, but such a practice would seem ill-fitted to my analytical mind and life experience.
Regardless, as soon as I returned from my walk I looked up "feeling of spinning while meditating," and "whirling feeling while meditating" on the Internet. As expected, the answer depends on the approach. Any "meaning" to be found in the sensation is dependent on a belief system regarding meditation. Because I don't wish to go that deep I will be satisfied with a simple answer - keep meditating.
Mind Probe
Obstructing analysis is useful, but analysis is required for reaching temporary conclusions about experiences. What I sometimes find frustrating, however, is that I tend to
A.)analyze a subject past the point at which a satisfying temporary conclusion has been reached, by myself and/or with others
B.)fully realize that I can never reach a conclusion and yet persist to analyze it.
I feel that there is no stopping it. But I can cut short a meandering path to the same ultimately unsatisfying conclusion.
For example:
Making music with malfunctioning equipment is frustrating to do.
Making music with malfunctioning equipment and a new piece of equipment is worse.
Making music with malfunctioning equipment and a new piece of equipment while lacking a vision is painful and not enjoyable.
It's not enjoyable because I think in terms of results of time and energy and if there's no "fun" to be had, let alone a product I am proud of, then I really wonder what the point is in using time and energy to do it.
Christmas is just another day in my reality program, so I went for a walk to get away from the Internet and meditated in the park (it was empty, for once). I experienced an odd feeling of spinning around while deep into meditation. Due to the novelty of the spinning sensation, the mind began clawing its way back to the surface of my attention in order to conceptualize what was happening. Once that conceptualization began, the whirling ceased and the meditation was broken by commentary. Naturally, I tried to reacquire the sensation but soon gave up as I was, at that point, no longer meditating.
I don't really address meditation on social media, nor on livejournal, because I fail to maintain a steady meditation routine and therefore, most of the time, have nothing to write on it. I also want to avoid entering into an online discourse on meditation because there are many different ideas about what it is, many different methods, many different expectations, and so on. As I've never read more than 1 or 2 books on the subject, I am not very well educated. I did not truly learn to meditate, but rather attempted to relax and stop all thought. In the process of doing this, and growing extremely frustrated, I picked up various tips (bits of methods) and tricks (sensory deprivation, binaural beats, etc). While I have definitely encountered an inner-sense of well-being, and while it has sometimes been accompanied by a generally positive emotional surge, any such "results" are fleeting. Intuitively, it seems that trying to "hold on" to such feelings, especially without any context, is a fast track to losing grip on the state of inner silence. Not that there is anything wrong with meditating on divine waves of cosmic bliss, for example, but such a practice would seem ill-fitted to my analytical mind and life experience.
Regardless, as soon as I returned from my walk I looked up "feeling of spinning while meditating," and "whirling feeling while meditating" on the Internet. As expected, the answer depends on the approach. Any "meaning" to be found in the sensation is dependent on a belief system regarding meditation. Because I don't wish to go that deep I will be satisfied with a simple answer - keep meditating.
Mind Probe
Obstructing analysis is useful, but analysis is required for reaching temporary conclusions about experiences. What I sometimes find frustrating, however, is that I tend to
A.)analyze a subject past the point at which a satisfying temporary conclusion has been reached, by myself and/or with others
B.)fully realize that I can never reach a conclusion and yet persist to analyze it.
I feel that there is no stopping it. But I can cut short a meandering path to the same ultimately unsatisfying conclusion.
For example:
Making music with malfunctioning equipment is frustrating to do.
Making music with malfunctioning equipment and a new piece of equipment is worse.
Making music with malfunctioning equipment and a new piece of equipment while lacking a vision is painful and not enjoyable.
It's not enjoyable because I think in terms of results of time and energy and if there's no "fun" to be had, let alone a product I am proud of, then I really wonder what the point is in using time and energy to do it.