I might be better off dead right now...
well, my laptop is offically dead. no more. dead. and well a huge part of me died with it. so matt is hopefully going to give me 400 cuz... well he killed it. and then i might be able to scrounge up 800 to get a brand new iBook. but eh... i dont want to talk about that anymore.
i might be going to taking back sunday on friday... with zeyad, which wil be cool. we hung out tonight which was awesome we're over the awkwardness of life with each other, and we're actualy legit friends now. which is nice. zeyad buddy and i are planning on hanging out on sat, which will be like the good ole days, only this time im not going to be dating z. woot!
later today, im calling my theripist. i have decided to go back... which i guess is a good idea. im sick of trying to make it all make sense alone, and it would be nice to talk to someone who isnt involved in any of it, and has nothing to gain or lose with the decisions i make. i think everything just really hit the fan today at the apple store when i burst out into tears when they told me that lappy was dead. i mean really... who cries about that. it was like "hey amanda i think you maybe have an attatchment issue..." i mean really who does that? i have trouble throwing gum wrappers out...
NoDontLeaveILuvU: its like, i had this really great black shirt, and i loved it more than any of my other cloths, and was so happy i had it and wore it all the time, and it looked great on me, basically the idea shirt
NoDontLeaveILuvU: then one day for no reason i poured bleach all over it
NoDontLeaveILuvU: then realized what i did, and realized that life is basically worthless without THAT shirt
NoDontLeaveILuvU: and no other shirt could replace it
NoDontLeaveILuvU: but i still had the shirt and i still wore it, even though it wasnt the same, i was just happy to still have it
NoDontLeaveILuvU: and im afraid that someone is going to love the shirt the way i did, and take it from me
that was me describing how i feel about tristan... i liked how i somehow turned him into a shirt...
i might be going to taking back sunday on friday... with zeyad, which wil be cool. we hung out tonight which was awesome we're over the awkwardness of life with each other, and we're actualy legit friends now. which is nice. zeyad buddy and i are planning on hanging out on sat, which will be like the good ole days, only this time im not going to be dating z. woot!
later today, im calling my theripist. i have decided to go back... which i guess is a good idea. im sick of trying to make it all make sense alone, and it would be nice to talk to someone who isnt involved in any of it, and has nothing to gain or lose with the decisions i make. i think everything just really hit the fan today at the apple store when i burst out into tears when they told me that lappy was dead. i mean really... who cries about that. it was like "hey amanda i think you maybe have an attatchment issue..." i mean really who does that? i have trouble throwing gum wrappers out...
NoDontLeaveILuvU: its like, i had this really great black shirt, and i loved it more than any of my other cloths, and was so happy i had it and wore it all the time, and it looked great on me, basically the idea shirt
NoDontLeaveILuvU: then one day for no reason i poured bleach all over it
NoDontLeaveILuvU: then realized what i did, and realized that life is basically worthless without THAT shirt
NoDontLeaveILuvU: and no other shirt could replace it
NoDontLeaveILuvU: but i still had the shirt and i still wore it, even though it wasnt the same, i was just happy to still have it
NoDontLeaveILuvU: and im afraid that someone is going to love the shirt the way i did, and take it from me
that was me describing how i feel about tristan... i liked how i somehow turned him into a shirt...