hello blue moon
I've been keeping a journal lately, for the first time in my life. It's an actual, IRL journal that I keep by my bed. It's pretty serious shit, and most of it I don't want to share with anyone.. so if you think I'm a steady-chillin type of cat who has it all figured out, I'm telling you it's fucking Vietnam in my head (jk). Here's something from it that isn't too personal, and that I like (I wrote it for myself so I didn't mind it making little sense):
"I want a way to express something I have never experienced before. I want to intoxicate with my words. Not sentimental, not dry. No, dripping with truth and life <-- no, more than that...Could I really be convinced even a little by logos philosophy/theology? The pretty things that I remember from driving through places in California, sitting in the backseat with my headphones on; they have become a symbol for the fecund Divine Ground that I have read about. I have made my nostalgia into my soul's yearning for unity with its Source. Perhaps this is a testament to the limits of my sweetest of senses: sight. The green hillsides, treetops, sparkling waters, sunbeams shining over my eyes, the sky that is so big and so blue. Can I not enjoy these things without it hindering my sight of what is beyond them all? Hills, trees, waters, and even stars will come and go. I will also have to go as well [So! God really can move mountains]. But, wrapping my head, or trying to, around such inconceivable things may only send me into a passing daze-like state that may have no real change on my perception. This light, ethereal, hazy state of mind may not bare any fruits [this is why I should meditate - it is much better]... if my brain were a sea vessel, the captain is lost and confused."
And I made this the other day after discovering that using iMovie is hella easy. I'm trying to get yelled at and damned to hell over the internet.
"I want a way to express something I have never experienced before. I want to intoxicate with my words. Not sentimental, not dry. No, dripping with truth and life <-- no, more than that...Could I really be convinced even a little by logos philosophy/theology? The pretty things that I remember from driving through places in California, sitting in the backseat with my headphones on; they have become a symbol for the fecund Divine Ground that I have read about. I have made my nostalgia into my soul's yearning for unity with its Source. Perhaps this is a testament to the limits of my sweetest of senses: sight. The green hillsides, treetops, sparkling waters, sunbeams shining over my eyes, the sky that is so big and so blue. Can I not enjoy these things without it hindering my sight of what is beyond them all? Hills, trees, waters, and even stars will come and go. I will also have to go as well [So! God really can move mountains]. But, wrapping my head, or trying to, around such inconceivable things may only send me into a passing daze-like state that may have no real change on my perception. This light, ethereal, hazy state of mind may not bare any fruits [this is why I should meditate - it is much better]... if my brain were a sea vessel, the captain is lost and confused."
And I made this the other day after discovering that using iMovie is hella easy. I'm trying to get yelled at and damned to hell over the internet.
Click to view