Dream a Little Dream (stand-alone) R - NC-17

[authors_notes]

Title: Dream A Little Dream
Author: kikistar
Word Count: Just about 22,000
Rating: R - NC-17
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon, Jon/Spencer, a surprise couple at the very end
POV: 3rd
Summary: Brendon Urie and Ryan Ross are best friends, bandmates and well straight. Or are they??
Disclaimer: Don’t know, don’t own, don’t want to get sued. If this was true and had really happened it would have been on YouTube or Buzznet by now. Ha ha ha
It’s a total work of FICTION and should be taken as such. The title is from a song by Lois Armstrong.
Author Notes: This took me a really long time to finish and I hope you all like it. I don’t think it would have never gotten posted if it wasn’t for the help of one person. Thanks arctic_grey I am so grateful to you for all your help. Thank you for all your adding and deleting and everything else. YOU ROCK!! Also a big THANK YOU to my beta spazzyskittles who really helped me out too. More notes under the cut.

Thanks guys ^_^



Ryan Ross had never thought he would end up feeling like someone’s play thing. Like he was being used for someone else’s needs. Like they couldn’t care less about what he wanted or what he needed. That they only thought about themselves.

He never thought he would feel like it, but that was exactly how he felt.

Sad thing was that Brendon Urie had no clue he was even doing it.

~~~~~~

It started one night after a very high-energy show. Coming off stage, everyone was bouncing off the walls. Brendon was so wound up that Ryan thought he might explode. From the second they came off stage, Brendon just couldn’t stop talking.

“Oh my god, that was fucking amazing,” Brendon said, almost ripping his shirt off. “The crowd was just so into it.” He tossed his shirt across the room. “And those three girls in the front row were just too unreal. I mean, they’ve been to the last four shows.”

Ryan had no idea who or what he was talking about, though the others nodded their heads. See, when Ryan Ross was on stage he was way too into the music to see or really notice what was going on around him, so noticing that three fans had been in the same spot for the last four shows totally went over his head.

“I think I know which ones you’re talking about,” Spencer now said, making Ryan look his way. He might be behind the drum kit, but he looked at the audience when he first came on and when he walked off at the end of it.

“They’re really nice too,” Jon added, taking a very long drink from the bottle of water in his hand, looking forward to taking a shower to cool off.

“Wait - you know these three girls?” Ryan asked and turned to look at him.

“I talked to them the other day on a run to Starbucks,” Jon shrugged, then looked at Brendon. “One of them really has the hots for you,” Jon winked like this was hardly a surprise to any of them.

“Oh really now?” Brendon smirked and started to undo his pants.

There was something about watching Brendon strip that had always intrigued Ryan. He couldn’t figure out if it was the way Brendon just pulled at his clothes, wanting them off so quickly that he didn’t care if he broke a zipper or lost a button. Or was it that the fact that in the end Brendon just stood there, naked, carrying on a conversation like he wasn’t at all naked? Either way, Ryan sat in his spot across the room, watching Brendon quickly remove his pants, tossing them over to join his shirt on the other side of the room.

“Why do you do that?” Ryan asked Brendon with a small smile dancing across his lips.

“Do what?” Brendon asked, resting his hands on his bare hips.

“Throw your clothes around the room. You know someone, no, you know Ialways have to pick them up.”

“But you do it ‘cause you love me, Ry,” Brendon said. He came to stand right in front of him at that moment… still naked.

’Look up. . look up’, Ryan kept repeating in his head. He knew it was rude to stare, even if Brendon was a closet exhibitionist.

“I don’t love you, Urie,” he scoffed. He glanced up at Brendon and almost moaned at the silly smile on Brendon’s face.

“Sure you don’t,” Brendon scoffed. He turned and headed off to the showers, giving the whole room more than a glimpse of his ass.

Once they had taken showers and filed onto the bus, they all soon passed out. Well, everyone that is, except one Ryan Ross.

Jon was snoring away softly into his pillow, most likely dreaming about Cassie… or Spencer. Either way, he was dead to the world and smiling in his sleep.

Spencer was curled into a tight ball, entangled in his blankets, breathing heavy like he always did when he slept, most likely dreaming about Haley… or Jon. Music was softly playing through his headphones as he always seemed to fall asleep with his iPod on, which meant that the battery was dead in the morning, which in turn made him act like a bitch if his bandmates weren’t careful.

Brendon had walked on the bus after showering and passed out. He hadn’t even said a word to anyone, that’s how tired he was. He just climbed into his bunk, pulled the curtain closed and was fast asleep three minutes later.

Then there was poor little Ryan. Unfortunately, he laid there for a long time, listening to everyone unwind and fall into a peaceful sleep before he himself succumbed to a very restless sleep.

Ryan woke up some time in the middle of the night when he felt the mattress of his bunk dip. For a second he freaked out. No, wait, it was more than a second. Who the hell was crawling into his bed? Why?

His questions were answered when he opened his eyes to stare into those damn sexy deep brown eyes that belonged to his bandmate, Brendon Boyd Urie. Ryan blinked in confusion.

“What are you doing, Brendon?” Ryan asked with a small, confused laugh that sounded sleepy.

Brendon didn’t say a word. Instead, his hand trailed down Ryan’s chest to his tight stomach, to the hem of his shirt. Fingers slowly slipped under the pale blue fabric, making Ryan jerk.

“What the fuck, Brendon?” Ryan frowned and grabbed his hand. “Are you high?”

“Shhh.” Brendon pressed a finger to Ryan’s lips. “I just want to kiss you.”

“What?”

Ryan’s eyes almost popped out of his head. He hadn’t heard Brendon right, Brendon hadn’t actually just said that.

“Just one little kiss and I’ll go back to my bunk,” Brendon whispered and licked his lips.

Ryan couldn’t help but stare as he realized it wasn’t a joke. For the record, he was straight and in love with Keltie, but he’d always wondered what it would be like to really kiss Brendon. Not just kiss him on the cheek like he’d done half a million times, but to actually kiss him. Maybe now he could find out, cross it out on his “things to do” list. What harm could come out of one kiss?

“Please, Ry. Just one little kiss,” his bandmate repeated. Brendon was licking his damn lips again.

Before Ryan could make a reply Brendon’s lips were on his. And goddamn, it…it was nice. Really nice. The kiss was soft and rather sweet, and it was over before Ryan really knew what was going on.

“Thanks,” Brendon said with a smile and then headed back to his bunk.

Ryan just laid there in utter shock.

~~~~~~~

When Ryan finally got up the following morning, he couldn’t help but think about the kiss and smile a little.

~~~~~~~

“So, Bren…” Ryan had pulled Brendon aside before an interview they have to do that afternoon. “What was the deal with last night?”

“What are you talking about?” Brendon smiled at him with a slightly confused look on his face.

“You know what I’m talking about.” Ryan nudged him with his elbow.

“Fine, I’ll pick up my clothes from now on,” Brendon sighed and rolled his eyes. “I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”

“I’m not talking about that and you know it,” Ryan said and looked him right in the eye. He felt like a chick right then, because it had probably been the most innocent kiss in the history of mankind, and here he was, wanting to talk about it.

“Well, I have no clue what you’re talking about, Ry.”

“They’re ready for you, Ryan and Brendon,” a woman said, interrupting the two of them.

“If you hate cleaning up after me just tell me, Ryan. Don’t get all cryptic about it the next day,” Brendon said before he went into the small room to do the interview.

~~~~~~

For the rest of day and into that night Brendon acted, well, normal. And for a second Ryan thought maybe he’d dreamt it, because how could Brendon beg to kiss him just the night before and act as if he’d never done it the next? It just didn’t seem real. So Ryan just chalked it up as a dream and tried to forget it had happened.

Well, that was easier said than done.

~~~~~~

Ryan had just fallen asleep when he felt the bunk dip again. He opened his eyes to see those same sexy chocolate colored eyes staring into his.

“Bren, this isn’t funny,” he snapped.

“Can I kiss you again?” Brendon asked in the sweetest voice that made Ryan’s heart melt.

“Why? So you can forget about it the next morning?” Ryan spat out. He was acting like a chick, but this wasn’t normal behavior between the two of them.

“Please, Ry?” Brendon’s hand rested on Ryan’s hip, giving it a soft squeeze.

“What game are you playing?”

“No game, Ryan,” Brendon murmured. Brendon leaned forward, capturing Ryan’s lips with his own. A soft gasp escaped Ryan’s mouth and Brendon smiled. “Do you know how hard it is to not do that every time I see you?” Brendon asked, breathless against Ryan’s moist lips.

“Huh?”

Ryan popped out of the small daze he was in. Brendon had actually said that. Brendon was actually right there.

“Every time I see you all I want to do is kiss you.”

Brendon leaned forward again, taking Ryan’s lower lip between his teeth, tugging on it gently. Ryan pushed him away slightly.

“What?”

“Please just let me kiss you,” the younger man whimpered and nuzzled Ryan’s neck.

When Ryan went to say no, Brendon’s teeth dug into his soft skin, making him moan out instead.

~~~~~~~

Again Brendon got what he wanted. And then he left, leaving Ryan alone and in shock…

Again.

~~~~~~~

The next morning when Ryan got up, he was more confused than he had been the night before.

“Nice hickeys, dude,” Spencer said, giving Ryan a funny look when Ryan walked into the lounge.

“What?”

Ryan’s hand came up to his neck and felt around.

“Who the hell were you with last night?” Jon now asked, inspecting Ryan’s neck and smirking at the clear teeth marks on the edges of the bruises. “Did we pick up a vampire on the side of the road?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Ryan mumbled. He could feel his cheeks turning bright red and he quickly sat opposite Spencer in the tiny kitchen, trying to cover up the marks with his hands. Things happened on tour, so Spencer and Jon weren’t judging him, merely laughing at Ryan looking like a horny preteen who had played with the vacuum cleaner.

“Where are we?” Brendon asked, slowly walking into the front of the bus.

“On the bus, dumbass,” Jon said matter-of-factly.

“So funny,” Brendon said, sticking his tongue out as he walked over to the small fridge, opening it to grab himself a bottle of juice. He turned to look at Ryan and choked. “What the hell happened to you?” he asked as he wiped his mouth, eyes roaming over the several hickeys.

“He’s not telling us,” Spencer pouted and kicked Ryan’s feet under the table.

“Someone sure had fun with your neck,” Brendon grinned before going back to his bunk.

Ok, this was really staring to piss Ryan off.

~~~~~~~

The next night nothing happened. Same thing on the following night.

But three days, well, nights later Brendon was crawling into Ryan’s bed again. Yes, an actual bed for once.

Ryan knew the minute they checked into the hotel for the night that sharing a room with Brendon was a big mistake, but it was his turn. Each of them took a turn rooming with Brendon because he was such a handful. And, well, this was Ryan’s night to baby-sit.

The second he felt the bed dip, he smacked Brendon in the chest.

“NO!” Ryan said before Brendon could say a word.

“Please!” Brendon whined.

“No!” Ryan moved away from him, turning to face to the wall. This had stopped being funny fucking ages ago. The hickeys had almost faded now and Ryan had no intention of repeating the humiliation.

“Come on, Ryan. You know you want it.”

Brendon started to rub small circles on Ryan’s bare back.

“Doesn’t matter what I want,” Ryan muttered angrily. Oh crap - had he just said that out loud? And why was he even saying that? He didn’t want Brendon...did he? Even if Brendon sucking and teasing his neck had left him with a painful boner that night, it certainly didn’t mean that he…

Ryan laid there with his back to Brendon, just staring at the wall. Maybe if he ignored him long enough, Brendon would get the hint and move back over to his own bed.

No such luck.

Brendon’s hand continued to rub Ryan’s back before moving south to his hip. He rested it there for a while before he began to rub that, too. Ryan closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath, refusing to acknowledge how his body was reacting to it. Why was Brendon doing this to him? Why?

Brendon moved closer to Ryan until his body was flush with the older boy’s, making Ryan softly moan deep in the back of his throat.

“See, you want me to do this,” Brendon whispered into Ryan’s ear before reaching out to lick the side of his neck. Brendon’s hand caressed Ryan’s hip for a few minutes more before it got bolder and moved to the front of Ryan’s body.

“Bren…”

“Shhh, Ry,” Brendon whispered and kissed his shoulder. “You’ll love it. Trust me.”

Ryan wanted to protest, wanted to jump off the bed, wanted to scream at Brendon, but he just laid there waiting, because he was more than curious about what exactly Brendon had in mind. Brendon’s fingers slowly began to move up Ryan’s hip until they reached the waistband of his sleep pants. Ryan took in a deep breath. Teasingly, those same fingers dipped below his waistband, ghosting over the soft flesh of Ryan’s abdomen.

“Do you like that?” Brendon whispered in Ryan’s ear. Ryan nodded, though he shouldn’t have. He shouldn’t have been doing any of this. “Do you want me to continue?”

Again, Ryan’s head nodded.

“I can’t hear you, Ry,” Brendon said. He licked his neck again, sending shivers all over Ryan’s body. “Do you want me to continue?”

“Yes…please,” Ryan breathed out and soon Brendon’s hand was wrapped around his cock.

At first Brendon’s movements were slow and steady, like he was working off of some beat in his head. A rhythm only he could hear. Only he could feel. Either way, Ryan didn’t quite care. All he knew was that someone… no, that Brendon was giving him the best hand job he had ever had in his entire life.

Brendon’s hand caressed the smooth skin of Ryan’s cock, moving in slow, sweet strokes up and down his shaft. Once in a while he would tease the head with his thumb, making Ryan squirm in the sheets.

“Do you want more?”

Brendon licked and kissed at Ryan’s neck.

“Bren…I’m gonna…” Ryan gasped out, half muffled by the pillow he had shoved in his face to block out the loud moans slipping out his mouth. Brendon’s calloused fingertips felt too good on his pulsing cock.

“I know,” Brendon groaned quietly. He sucked on his neck then slowed his hand down even more. Ryan arched his back, feeling Brendon’s rock-hard cock graze against his ass.

“Oh god,” Ryan moaned when he realized how turned on they both were.

“Come for me, Ryan.” Brendon brought his other hand up to pull the pillow from Ryan’s face. “Come for me. Hold nothing back, baby. I want to hear you scream,” Brendon whispered, and the words went straight to Ryan’s cock. Brendon’s hand began to pick up speed.

Ryan was rocking back and forth into Brendon’s grasp, his hips arching into Brendon’s hand and back against his cock. His head was spinning. God, he had never felt something so goddamned amazing in all of his twenty-one years.

With one last arch of his back, he was coming on both Brendon’s hand and the front of his pants.

“That’s a good boy,” Brendon smiled from ear to ear, and Brendon’s voice was so husky and turned on that Ryan’s cock twitched. Ryan was lost in his post-orgasm and he didn’t even notice Brendon getting off the bed.

“Brendon?” he finally said with a gasp in his throat. When he rolled over Brendon was back in his bed and fast asleep.

“What the fuck?” Ryan half screamed out, pulling the covers over his head.

~~~~~~

“Dude, that’s just gross,” Brendon said with a laugh as Ryan crossed the room, heading for the bathroom the next morning.

“What?” Ryan looked at him despite having decided to ignore Brendon for being such a fucking asshole.

“You played with little Ryan with me in the room,” Brendon grinned and he pointed to the front of Ryan’s sleep pants, which just happened to be covered in come stains. “I mean, couldn’t you have done that in the bathroom or something?”

“Fuck you, Brendon Urie!” Ryan spat out, sick of the game, hurrying into the bathroom and slamming the door behind him.

~~~~~~

Needless to say, it was another day where Brendon did nothing to acknowledge the previous night’s activities and it infuriated Ryan to no end. He was so pissed off (and utterly confused) that he didn’t talk to anyone the entire day.

“Hey,” Brendon said as they sat in their dressing room later that night. “What’s wrong, Ry?” he asked and batted his eyes at the older boy.

“Leave me alone, I’m not in the mood.” Ryan didn’t even look up at him. He was starting to feel a bit hurt here.

“Are you mad at me?” Brendon almost pouted, like he had any reason to be upset when Ryan’s flesh was weaker than his mind, always giving in to Brendon’s touch, giving in to be used.

“Why would I be mad at you?” Ryan countered, quickly looking up at him, sarcasm and anger lacing his voice.

“Well, you’ve been in a pissy mood since we got up.” Brendon leaned in closer to Ryan. “Is it because of what I did this morning?”

“You really have no idea, do you?” Ryan stared at him.

“I didn’t mean anything by it. Hell, I even woke up early in the morning with a raging hard on, but I went in the bathroom and took care of it. I just can’t believe you did that with me in the same room, that’s all,” Brendon laughed lightly. “And I didn’t even wake up. I mean, we all know what a light sleeper I am.”

“Ha!” Ryan rolled his eyes. “You, a light sleeper? That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Ryan got to his feet, walking out of the room, leaving Brendon sitting on the couch.

~~~~~~

During the show, Brendon moved close to Ryan like he did every night, but tonight Ryan wasn’t having it. When Brendon tried to caress his side, Ryan gave him a shove. Brendon looked at him, shocked, yet tried to do it again. Ryan shoved him harder, making him fall to the floor. Both Jon and Spencer looked over at the two of them before giving each other a “what the fuck?” look. Spencer rolled his eyes while Jon just shrugged, hoping this wouldn’t end up on YouTube under the title “Panic fight!”.

“What’s crawled up your ass, Ross?” Spencer asked as they all walked into the dressing room after the show. He was more than confused by his best friend’s behavior.

“Fuck off, Smith,” Ryan glared at him.

“Why’d you push me so hard?” Brendon asked with his sad puppy face, ripping his shirt off and tossing it on the floor.

“I’m not picking that up, asshole.”

“Wow! What’s wrong with you?” Jon now asked, looking at him then at Spencer and Brendon as he tried to figure out who this evil clone of their guitarist was.

“Fuck all of you,” Ryan said before storming out of the room towards the bus.

Once on the bus, he locked himself in the back, not wanting to deal with any of his bandmates. He just needed time alone, and being trapped on a bus with too many people made that really, really difficult.

He eventually heard the rest of the guys get on the bus, and soon the bus was on its way to the next venue. He heard footsteps outside the door, yet no one tried to come in. They must have known better than to mess with him for the rest of the night.

Ryan settled on the couch, cursing Brendon in his mind. He tried to calm down and not think about it, and after having had such a long day he soon was fast asleep and dreaming. Or at least he thought he was until everything started to feel all too real.

Lips were ghosting over his thighs…his naked thighs. He had to be dreaming. No one had come into the room…had they? And who the hell had taken his pants off?

Soft lips kissed, licked and sucked a slow path from one hip bone, across his abdomen, to his other hip bone. Ryan opened his eyes slowly to see a mane of dark brown hair just at his waist. He knew right away who that mass of hair belonged to and suddenly got pissed.

“What the fuck, Brendon? What are you -”

He was cut off mid-sentence with those lips that had been teasing his stomach as they wrapped around his hard cock. “O-oh, god,” he moaned out as Brendon’s wet, hot mouth covered him.

Brendon’s lips. Brendon’s tongue. That’s all Ryan could think about, when he could think. Who knew Brendon was so good at…oh fuck, fuck, fuck.

He thought about the way Brendon’s tongue slid over the tip of his cock, sending shivers throughout his body, how Brendon hollowed his cheeks to add the much needed suction before trying to take more of Ryan into his mouth. Best thing was the way Brendon hummed every once in a while, making Ryan’s head spin and his senses reel. Ryan was in heaven. He was in fucking heaven and he didn’t want to come back to earth.

Brendon kissed and Ryan gasped. Brendon licked and Ryan moaned. Brendon teased and Ryan licked his lips, not remembering why he had been so mad at the singer just a few hours ago.

“Brendon…I’m gonna… you have to -”

But Ryan couldn’t get any more out before he was coming into Brendon’s mouth. “Oh god!” he half-screamed, trying to keep it down as Brendon swallowed. His head fell back on the back of the couch. Brendon gave a soft, content sigh then rested his head on Ryan’s leg.

“Bren?” Ryan looked down at him, running his fingers through his hair.

Brendon didn’t answer. He was fast asleep.

“What the hell?” Ryan looked at the younger boy, confused. “Not again!”

Ryan gently pushed Brendon onto the floor then pulled his pants back up. He was slowly getting more and more pissed at Brendon. It was bad enough that he had to keep playing with him like this, but to do it and then fall asleep right after, like he was bored or something, was just too much for Ryan. At least when Brendon had given him that hand job, Brendon had been hard too, so it couldn’t have been completely one-sided. Ryan could’ve returned the favor, they could have started helping each other out or something along the lines. They could have been men about it. But no, Brendon pretended he didn’t remember and instantly fell asleep after getting what he wanted out of Ryan.

Taking one last look at Brendon fast asleep on the floor of the lounge, Ryan huffed and headed down to his bunk. If this was all a game to Brendon, Ryan was totally through playing. He wasn’t going to fall for Brendon’s shit anymore. No, he was going to put his foot down the next time Brendon made a move. He wasn’t someone’s play thing. And Brendon needed to be told that once and for all.

~~~~~~~

“I don’t think you really want to go in there, Ry,” Spencer said with a chuckle as he and Jon stood next to the bus. They had a few hours of free time before sound check, Jon had his camera out and was killing time, taking “art pictures” of Spencer in the parking lot. Extreme boredom, Jon explained to his bandmates.

Ryan just looked between his friends and the tour bus door with a confused expression. “Why the hell not?”

“Brendon’s…uh…er…he’s entertaining a fan,” Jon grinned slightly, sniggering under his breath as Spencer matched his laugh. They both thought it was funny.

“What?” Ryan spat. He was incredibly shocked. It wasn’t like Brendon had never done it before, they all knew that, but how could Brendon do this to him? How could - wait, what the hell was he saying? He shook his head. God, Brendon had really fucked him up good.

“I don’t give a fuck about what Brendon is doing,” Ryan snapped and opened the door to the bus, quickly stepping inside.

The instant he got on, he heard the moans and gasps from the back of the bus. Ryan stopped dead in his tracks. Brendon moaned out, making Ryan shiver. He remembered what had happened in that hotel room, the sounds Brendon had made while he jerked him off. The low humming noises he made when giving him that wonderful blowjob.

“Damn you, Brendon,” Ryan softly said to himself, walking over to his bunk and ignoring what the sounds were doing to his cock.

“Oh god, Brendon, you feel so good,” a female voice gasped. Ryan seethed. He was here to get his notebook, that’s all.

“Uh huh,” Brendon moaned.

“Oh god!” she screamed again. What an actress, honestly.

But still, Ryan couldn’t move. He willed his feet to move but they stayed planted to the floor. The girl screamed out Brendon’s name one more time, and then Ryan heard it. Hell, he was sure everyone on the planet heard it.

“Oh god, fuck, ah, Ryan,” Brendon moaned out.

“What?” the girl asked.

“Yeah…what?” Ryan mimicked under his breath, confused as fuck.

“Did you just scream out Ryan Ross’s name when you came?” the girl asked, sounding rather shocked and very annoyed. Brendon was in the back lounge with the naked girl in his lap with absolutely no idea that they weren’t by themselves in the bus.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Brendon shrugged and tried to kiss her to shut her up.

“Oh my god!” she yelled out, climbing off his lap. She started to gather her clothes. “That’s fucking sick.”

Brendon groaned in frustration, because he had just come and was in no state to deal with this. He got up and located his jeans and began to pull them on. The girl went to leave, then turned to face Brendon one last time.

“If you wanted to fuck Ryan, you should have just fucked him. Taking some fan on the bus and pretending she’s him is just beyond sick!” she bitched before she slapped him.

Ryan tried to flee but she was too fast, so he just stood there, looking inside his bunk as the groupie appeared from the back.

“Oh, and you stand out here listening! You’re all fucking sick!” she shrieked and stormed off the bus, almost knocking Spencer over as she fled.

Brendon slowly made his way out of the back when Spencer and Jon got back on the bus.

“What the hell did you do to her, Bren?” Jon asked with a low laugh. Brendon had definitely managed to piss her off, Jon figured it was probably something beyond hilarious.

“Don’t know,” Brendon shrugged. He couldn’t even look at Ryan.

~~~~~~~

That night Ryan lay in his bunk below Brendon, trying to forget what he had heard. Had Brendon really cried out his name when he was fucking that girl? Had he really heard him say it or was it just his mind playing tricks on him? What was Brendon doing to him? Better yet, why was he so upset that Brendon had fucked that groupie? Oh, god, what was wrong with him?

He heard Brendon sigh, then the bedding shuffled above him. Ryan wondered what Brendon was thinking of.

Brendon was going over the events of the last few weeks. All the dreams he had had of Ryan were really started to mess with his mind. Dreams of kissing him. Dreams of giving him a handjob. God, the one where he gave him a blowjob. They had all seemed so real, but Brendon knew they had all been dreams and nothing more. He would never have Ryan like he had him in his dreams. Never.

Brendon rolled over and soon fell asleep.

Ryan listened, but he heard nothing. He knew Brendon had fallen asleep. Now he just wished he could.

~~~~~~~

A week went by and Brendon didn’t try one thing with Ryan. Not one damn thing. One would think that something like that would make Ryan Ross happy. Well, it didn’t.

It just pissed him off.

~~~~~~~

“Where’s Brendon?” Ryan asked Jon as he came on the bus. “I thought he was with you?”

Jon cleared his throat and looked at the floor. “He…um…”

“Out with it, Walker. Where the hell is he?”

Ryan was getting very pissed off and he had no idea why. Brendon should have been ready for sound check but was nowhere to be found. Jon wasn’t stupid and he knew that something pretty goddamn odd was happening between Ryan and Brendon. And he also knew that he had absolutely no news to give that could make the situation any better.

“Last I saw him he was with one of the roadies,” Jon ended up muttering before he hurried off, leaving Ryan standing in the front of the bus.

Ryan went back inside the venue, walking around backstage, and it didn’t take long for him to find Brendon and, when he did, he wished he hadn’t.

The moans were the first thing he heard. Deep and full of lust. Ryan took a deep breath. He rounded the corner and hooked eyes on the pair. Brendon had the young boy, he looked like he’d just turned eighteen, pressed against the wall, his head turned away from Brendon’s. It was almost as if Brendon didn’t want to look at him.

“Oh god. . . . fuck,” Brendon moaned out between each quick jerk of his hips.

“Oh god is right,” the boy gasped, rocking back to meet Brendon’s thrusts.

Ryan wanted to turn and leave, yet he just couldn’t move. Once again Brendon had him frozen to the spot listening (and now watching) him fuck someone else.

“Don’t talk.” Brendon grabbed the boy by the hair, pulling his head back and attacking his neck. “Don’t fucking talk.”

Ryan couldn’t turn away. No matter what his brain was telling his body to do. He just couldn’t move. He was getting more and more upset with each thrust of Brendon’s hips. It was one thing when Brendon fucked or whatever else he did with female groupies. This was something completely different. This just meant that Brendon didn’t really want him, not in the real world anyway. He only wanted him when he was fast asleep and it was way too fucked up for Ryan to handle.

“God, I love you,” Brendon moaned out as his hips slammed into the back of the boy’s body. “You’re so fucking tight.” He started kissing his neck.

“You feel -” the boy started to say.

“I said don’t talk,” Brendon ordered and pushed the boy’s head against the wall a bit too forcefully.

“Ow!” the boy yelled out. “That fucking hurt, asshole.”

“Then don’t talk.” Brendon gave him a half-hearted smile, not understanding why it was so difficult for this kid to understand simple directions.

“Ryan,” a voice called out through the walkie attached the jeans pooled around the young man’s feet. “Where the fuck are you?”

“I have to answer,” the young boy said, craning his neck to look at Brendon.

“Fine,” Brendon sighed and stopped moving. He had to pull out as the kid bent down to reach for the walkie.

“This is Ryan, go ahead.”

“Where the fuck are you?” the voice demanded.

“Just outside…I’m, uh,” he stopped slightly as Brendon pushed back in. “Just, uh, helping one of the guys from Panic.”

“Well, hurry the fuck up. Gus wants to talk to you.”

The young boy grinned. “I should be done in a bit.” He dropped the walkie to the ground.

“Now no more talking,” Brendon said firmly as he started up his pace again.

The young boy smiled, then locked eyes with Ryan, who was still just standing there staring, his mouth hanging open. The boy licked his lips slowly, turning back to the other direction. A few thrusts later, and Brendon was coming into the condom. He moaned out Ryan’s name one more time before falling limp against the boy in front of him. The kid jerked himself off and came, lustfully moaning Brendon’s name.

“Was this for him?” the young boy asked, trying to catch his breath.

“For who?” Brendon raised his head to look at him.

“Him.”

The kid pointed over in the direction where Ryan had been.

“There’s no one there,” Brendon said as he looked over his shoulder.

“He was just there. Watching us,” the boy hissed as Brendon quickly pulled out of him.

“Who?” Brendon pulled his jeans back up, pulling the condom off and tossing it in the trash can next to the vending machine across from them. He hadn’t seen or heard anyone at all.

“Ryan Ross.”

Brendon froze entirely, his eyes widening in horror. The boy turned to look at him. The expression on Brendon’s face was priceless.

“I guess he wasn’t supposed to see us,” the young boy laughed. “I have to get back to work.” He leaned in close to Brendon and kissed him softly on the lips. “Thanks. Best fuck I’ve had in a while.”

And then he was gone. Brendon stared and stared, trying to get over the fact that Ryan had seen him fucking this kid.

“Shit!” Brendon cursed before walking off in the opposite direction. “SHIT!”

~~~~~~~

Brendon sat on the corner of the stage, just looking out at the empty arena. For some reason he knew he’d fucked up, but didn’t know just how bad.

“Hey, Bren,” Jon said sitting down next to him. “Did… uh… did Ryan find you?”

“Um, yeah.” Brendon looked at his hands. “He did.”

“And?”

“I fucked up, Jon.” Brendon let out a slow unsteady breath.

“What do you mean?” Jon tried to act like he had no clue as to what was going on.

Brendon let out another breath before launching into the whole story. He held nothing back. He told Jon about the dreams. The first kiss. The hickeys he had given Ryan. The handjob. The blowjob. He told him every last detail.

“Um… okay.” Jon said once Brendon had finished, trying to be supportive instead of freaking out. It’s not like he hadn’t suspected something along these lines himself. “So what you’re saying is you’ve been having these dreams about Ryan, and you… you like him?”

“I’ve been having sex dreams about one of my best friends, Jon. That’s not normal,” Brendon groaned and buried his head in his hands. “You just don’t have sex dreams about your friends. It’s just wrong.”

“Sure you do,” Jon said with a slight laugh.

“What?” Brendon looked up at him shocked.

“I’ve had sex dreams about Spencer before. It doesn’t mean I want them to come true,” Jon chuckled.

“You’ve had sex dreams about Spencer?” Brendon made a face.

“Hey, I didn’t make fun of you and your sex dreams about Ross, so don’t make fun of me and my Spencer dreams.” Jon smacked him in the arm.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Brendon grinned.

“Just because you have sex dreams about Ryan doesn’t mean you want to have sex with him,” Jon reasoned and looked at Brendon. “I mean, you don’t want to have sex with Ryan…do you?”

Brendon just fiddled with his hands.

“Oh my god!” Jon sniggered. “You want to have sex with Ryan Ross!”

“I don’t think the people standing outside in line heard you, Jon.” Brendon snapped, blushing just a little and covered his face again.

“Sorry,” Jon laughed and looked around the room. Thank God they were the only two people in there at that moment. This conversation was weird and definitely wrong in more ways than one, but they still seemed to be having it. “So you want to have sex with Ryan?”

“I don’t know,” Brendon smiled. “Maybe.”

“So you and that roadie?” Jon nudged Brendon’s arm.

“Ryan?”

“Oh my god, his name was Ryan?”

Brendon sighed and tried to hide his embarrassment. “Yeah, because it’s getting so bad that Ryan’s name just kind of… slips out, man, so… you know, didn’t have to worry about it with that kid.”

“Shit,” Jon muttered in realization. The situation seemed complicated, and Jon thought of the dreams Brendon had been having and of Ryan’s weird mood swings. “What about that one time Ryan had all those hickeys on his neck? I mean, we know he doesn’t really fool around, so…” Jon began.

“So?”

“When did you have that dream of you sucking his neck?”

“Around that time,” Brendon shrugged.

“Dude,” Jon said as his eyes widened. Brendon gave him a blank look. “Dude.”

Brendon’s mouth dropped open. “No way!”

Jon burst out laughing, but Brendon shook his head firmly. “No way, Ryan would’ve said something! No way!”

“Just seems like a bit of a coincidence,” Jon shrugged with a knowing smirk before excusing himself. Brendon stared after him in horror, because the thought that his dreams had actually happened was not a possibility. Ryan would have said something, Ryan wouldn’t have let Brendon do half of those things to him! No way, no fucking way.

Talking to Jon had done nothing more than confused him even further.

~~~~~~~

“Hey,” Spencer said walking into the back of the bus. He looked over at Ryan, who looked as if he’d been crying. “Everything alright?”

“Does it look like everything’s alright?” Ryan snapped. He knew he shouldn’t be yelling at Spencer, but he needed to vent his anger at someone. Spencer gave him a look, then sat down next to his best friend.

“Don’t take your anger out on me,” Spencer said pointedly.

“Sorry.” Ryan wiped his eyes.

“So why are you crying? You have a fight with Keltie again?”

“Ha.” Ryan laughed. “Not Keltie.”

“So… um… was it Brendon?”

Ryan quickly looked up at Spencer. “What?”

“Are you fighting with Brendon?”

“No,” Ryan lied, keeping on a calm tone. He looked down at his hands. “Why would I be fighting with Brendon?”

“Okay. I’m just gonna say it,” Spencer decided, because he knew Ryan wouldn’t own up to anything. He cleared his throat. “I know what’s going on with you and Brendon.”

“What are you talking about?” Ryan tried to act like he had no idea what Spencer was talking about.

“Please, Ryan. I’ve been friends with you since I was five. I know you like the back of my hand. And I know Brendon. There’s been something going on with the two of you for a few weeks now. And…well, what’s the deal?”

Ryan hesitated, but he needed to talk to someone about it. He took a deep breath, then went on to tell Spencer everything that had happened. The first kiss. The handjob in the hotel. The blowjob in the back of the bus. Brendon screaming out his name when he fucked that groupie, and finally him seeing Brendon and that roadie just a little while ago.

“Um… okay.” Spencer rubbed the back of his neck. “So you’re angry at Brendon cause he’s doing all of this to you and you’re not gay?” he reasoned. Ryan was committed to the band, worryingly so. If keeping the band together meant being sexually harassed by Brendon, Spencer could picture Ryan taking the punch.

“Um…” Ryan fiddled with a string of his vest.

“Ryan?” Spencer looked at his friend. “Are you telling me that you liked it?”

“I don’t know.” Ryan buried his head in his hands. “Maybe.”

Well, that ruined Spencer’s first theory.

“But what about Keltie?”

“What about her?”

“Aren’t you two still, like… dating?” Spencer asked and cleared his throat.

“God, I’m so fucking confused.” Ryan started to tear up again. “I mean, everything was going along fine. I was in this wonderful relationship with this sexy woman who loves me, and then… wham! Brendon Boyd Urie has to ruin everything with one fucking kiss.” Ryan let out a slow sigh before quietly admitting, “I can’t stop thinking about him, Spin.”

“What?” Spencer looked truly shocked. “Are you serious?”

“Ever since that first kiss, all I could do was think about how good it felt to have those lips on mine again.”

“Wow.” Spencer couldn’t help but grin, because Ryan was being a total chick about his Brendon crush.

“Don’t look at me that way.” Ryan nudged his friend in the side. “You just don’t get it.”

“What don’t I get?”

“I have dreams about him, Spence. I mean like…” he paused, but realized this couldn’t be more awkward even if he tried. “You know, sex dreams.”

Spencer started to laugh.

“It’s not funny.” Ryan glared at him.

“So you think just because you liked him kissing you and you have sex dreams about him, that you want Brendon?”

“Well…yeah.” Ryan looked at his friend curiously.

“I have sex dreams about Jon all the time. Doesn’t mean I want him,” Spencer shrugged.

“You have sex dreams about Jon?” Ryan’s eyes almost popped out of his head at this admission.

“Yeah, I have sex dreams about Jon. Hell, I’ve even had one or two about you.”

“What?” Ryan gasped out.

“Well, I haven’t had any recently,” Spencer hurried to say. “But when we were younger there were a few nights where I dreamt about you, and we were having sex,” Spencer shrugged. It was no big deal, if anything, he had woken up mortified those couple of times.

“Okay, that is way too much information for me to process, Spin.”

“Sorry,” Spencer laughed.

They sat there in silence for a while before Ryan asked, “What am I gonna do about Brendon?”

“Maybe the two of you need to talk.” Spencer looked out the window of the bus and saw Jon and Brendon making their way towards it. He looked at Ryan again. “Maybe if you tell him to stop he will.”

Ryan didn’t tell Spencer that Brendon always feigned ignorance afterwards. Lately Ryan had been thinking it was either extreme denial or… or Brendon really didn’t know. But Ryan couldn’t figure out how that could even be possible. And Spencer was probably right, maybe he needed to talk to Brendon and tell him to stop it already. But…

“What if I don’t want him to stop?” Ryan whispered.

“Spencer? Ryan? You guys in here?” Jon asked, walking into the back of the bus. “We have to get inside soon. We have the Meet & Greet in half an hour.”

Jon looked between the two boys on the couch then sighed. He had a feeling Spencer and Ryan were just having the same conversation that him and Brendon had just been having. God, this was just getting way too confusing for everyone involved.

~~~~~~~

Ryan decided not to talk about it with Brendon, because maybe pretending nothing was going on was the best solution. Except that, Ryan soon realized, it was not working. Brendon hadn’t come to him in almost two weeks. Maybe Brendon had grown tired of the game and stopped. Ryan wasn’t happy with that thought, but he kept his mouth shut.

Spencer thought Ryan was kind of being an idiot about it.

Brendon was exhausted all the time now. This, naturally, was due to the fact he hardly slept. If Jon was right and Brendon was a sleepwalking molester, no way was he going to sleep. He nodded off for five minutes in dressing rooms and the lounge couch, always being woken up by Zack and nearly getting his ass kicked for being late. Once, he nodded off during an interview. On top of that, he was trying to avoid being alone with Ryan.

Jon thought Brendon was kind of being an idiot about it.

Everyone in the band was driving themselves insane because of it, but no one was saying it out loud. Ryan missed Brendon. He missed him more than he missed Keltie, and Brendon wasn’t hundreds of miles away like she was. He hardly even returned her calls now, he was too busy pining. One night he even left the bunk curtain half-open, in hopes of it being an invitation to Brendon. Nothing happened.

Ryan was thinking it all over one night as the bus was heading to their next location, and he couldn’t sleep. He was hoping, praying, for Brendon to come to his bunk, but heard nothing at all. He rubbed his eyes, could hardly believe he had turned into this.

Ryan quietly got out of his bunk with the intention of getting some water. However, he froze when Brendon’s curtain was cast aside, showing a completely empty bunk. Where the hell was Brendon? Ryan frowned, walked to the front, but saw no one at all. The bus wasn’t that big, so Brendon was either in the bathroom or in the back. Ryan found himself carefully opening the door to the back lounge and quietly stepping inside.

Brendon was half-sitting, half-laying on one of the couches. Mulan was on TV with the volume on low. Ryan giggled to himself. Only Brendon would fall asleep with his hand down his pants, watching a Disney movie. Wait. Brendon had his hand down his pants? Ryan looked the boy over slowly. Not only did Brendon have his hand down his pants, he seemed to be jerking himself off too. Um… shit.

“Brendon?” Ryan softly asked, walking further into the room. Was he asleep? Ryan moved closer. “Bren?” he asked again. He looked at Brendon’s closed eyes and realized that Brendon definitely was asleep.

“I love you, Ryan.” Brendon half-moaned out, tugging on his cock a bit harder. “I love you so much.”

Ryan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Brendon loved him? Sure he’d heard him say it to that roadie a few weeks ago, but he had just thought Brendon was saying it in the throes of passion. He knew guys always tended to say they loved you before they came. But now Brendon was laying there, jerking off and saying how much he loved Ryan. What the fuck was going on?

“Oh god, your mouth feels so amazing,” Brendon gasped out, thrusting his hips in the air.

So that’s what Brendon was dreaming about this time. He was dreaming that Ryan was giving him a blowjob. Ryan slowly smiled. Well, if Brendon wanted a blowjob, then maybe Ryan should give him one.

“Bren?” Ryan bent over the young boy on the couch so his lips were against Brendon’s ear. “Brenny bear.” Ryan softly chuckled at the new nickname he’d just now thought up.

“Yes, Ry.” Brendon smiled from ear to ear, his eyes never opening.

“Do you love me, Bren?” Ryan asked as his lips ghosted over the tender flesh of Brendon’s neck.

“You know I do.” Brendon shivered slightly, and Ryan felt his own heart swell up.

“I love you too.”

Whoa! Did he just say that out loud? He looked at Brendon, his mouth opening, and feeling like he needed to explain his words, but nothing came out. Besides, Brendon was asleep. But did Ryan really love him? As in love loved him?

“You love me?” Brendon asked, and his voice was very small and innocent sounding suddenly.

“Yes, Bren. I love you,” Ryan repeated, realizing it was true. He grinned happily and kissed Brendon firmly on the lips. “Let me show you how much I love you,” he whispered hungrily and kissed Brendon’s lips one more time before moving down to his neck. Brendon let out a soft moan, and Ryan smiled.

Was he really going to do this? Was he really going to give Brendon a blowjob? Because that would mean he’d have to stick Brendon’s cock in his mouth. Well no shit, Sherlock. The thought of it made him nervous. What if he didn’t do a good job? What if, no pun intended; he sucked at giving a blowjob? Oh God, he couldn’t do this. He rested his head against Brendon’s chest for a moment and took a deep breath. He couldn’t stop now. He had found the perfect opportunity to get back at Brendon for all the crap he had done to him over that past few weeks…hell, the last month or so. He was going to do this. He wanted to do this. Wow, he actually wanted to do this. He took in another deep, cleansing breath and continued to kiss Brendon’s neck.

“God, you feel so good, Ry,” Brendon moaned as soon as Ryan’s lips made contact with his skin.

Ryan lowered himself to his knees right between Brendon’s legs. He couldn’t believe he was about to give one of his best friends a fucking blowjob. What the hell was happening to him? Well, he had fallen in love with Brendon somewhere in the middle of Brendon goddamn sexually abusing him in his sleep. Fuck, it was absurd, but he was on his knees in front of the singer now, so he didn’t care. He licked his lips. Slowly, he slid his hands up the front of Brendon’s worn out Sponge Bob t-shirt, exposing the tight little stomach Brendon had. He leaned forward, placing small, soft kisses on Brendon’s flesh, making the younger boy take in a quick breath. Kisses turned into licks, Ryan’s tongue coming out to tease the hot flesh around Brendon’s belly button.

“Oh God,” Brendon gasped out, his hand coming to rest on the back of Ryan’s head.

Ryan slowly removed Brendon’s hand, placing it on the side of the couch. He was going to give Brendon a blowjob, but he wasn’t about to have Brendon grabbing his head and fucking his mouth. He’d seen way too much gay porn lately to have that happen. Oh God, did he just admit that he had been watching gay porn? Well fuck it, he had. Brendon had sure messed him up big time.

Once Brendon’s hand was out of his hair and back on the cushion of the couch, Ryan continued his teasing. Lips and tongue traced circles over the exposed flesh of Brendon’s abdomen. Ryan lightly tugged on the sides of Brendon’s sleep pants, wanting access to more soft warm flesh. Soon Ryan’s lips were kissing the now exposed hipbones. His mind was spinning. He was really going to do this. What if Spencer or Jon woke up? Oh God, could he live it down if either of them saw him like this, on his knees for a sleeping Brendon? Hell, what if Zack woke up? The little voice in the back of his mind told him to shut the hell up and get on with the cock sucking part of this blowjob. He could think of how wrong this was afterwards, but not now. Right now his body wanted to feel Brendon’s cock in his mouth.

Out of all the incidents that had happened in the month or so, they had all been Brendon’s doing. Ryan had never initiated a single thing. But now here he was about to do something that… well both of them seemed to want, but only one of them really knew was happening. Was it wrong what Ryan was about to do? What if Brendon woke up? Or what if…Stop thinking and start sucking!, his mind screamed out again. Okay, yeah, god, he could think later.

Ryan kissed a path from one hipbone to the other, and Brendon’s body slowly lifted off the couch.

“Oh God,” Brendon moaned. When he did this, Ryan quickly removed Brendon’s sleep pants completely. Now there was no turning back. Brendon was totally naked now.

Of course Ryan had seen Brendon naked tons of times. Brendon was somewhat of an exhibitionist, after all, so it was nothing new. Yet now, he was face to face with Brendon Boyd Urie’s rock hard cock. There was a penis only inches away from Ryan’s face, and he wasn’t the least bit freaked out about it. That wasn’t normal. Well, not normal for a guy that claimed he was straight. Did all penises look like that? Ryan started to wonder. Did Spencer’s penis look like that? Did Jon’s? Well, whatever the case, Ryan was pretty sure Brendon’s cock was the only one he wanted to suck.

“Ryan?” Brendon moaned, popping Ryan out of his inner conflict. “Please touch me,” he whined. “I need you to touch me.” Brendon licked his lips.

Ryan looked up at him and half-moaned himself. Lately every time Brendon licked his lips Ryan got lost. He kept remembering when those very lips were on his lips. His neck. His cock. He shook his head. Focus, Ross, the inner voice demanded again.

With a slow steady breath, Ryan rested one hand on Brendon’s hip while the other came to rest on the base of Brendon’s cock. Okay, it didn’t feel any different from his own. It was a tad bit thicker and maybe a smidgen longer than his…ok, who was he kidding? Brendon was very well endowed. Taking in another breath, he leaned forward, sticking the tip of his tongue out to brush against the head. Salty was the only way to describe it. Still, it wasn’t that bad. Ryan did it again.

“Ah…fuck,” Brendon moaned out.

Ryan grinned. So far, so good. Opening his mouth a bit further, he took the head into this mouth. Brendon tried to buck up, but lucky for Ryan he stopped him. Ever so slowly he moved his mouth further down Brendon’s length. His mind started to process things again, like how the hell was he going to fit this thing all the way in his mouth? There was no way it would all fit. How the hell did people deep throat? Just as slowly as he took some into his mouth, he began to bob off. Brendon moaned deep in the back of his throat, his fist digging into the fabric of the couch. Again Ryan lowered his head into Brendon’s lap, taking him into his mouth. This time, though, he swirled Brendon’s cock around in his mouth, making sure to use more of his tongue this time. He knew that was something he liked and was sure every man on the planet loved it too. Treat it like a giant lollipop, he thought as he licked and teased the underside of Brendon’s cock, tracing the vein with the tip of his tongue before gently kissing the tip with his lips.

“Ryan, Ryan.” Brendon kept repeating over and over between moans and gasps.

Clearing his throat once more and doing a few jaw stretches, Ryan tried to take all of Brendon in with one swift motion. When he felt the tight curls at the base of Brendon’s cock tickle his nose, he grinned. He was actually deep throating Brendon. He wanted to give himself a pat on the back; he was so proud of himself. But then Brendon bucked his hips upward and Ryan gagged. Not a good idea after all. Tears were streaming down his face. That fucking hurt like a bitch. He bobbed off, coughing a bit as he cleared his throat again, then slowly took Brendon back in. Deep throating would have to wait until another time. Maybe a time when Brendon was awake and could control his hip movements.

Ryan placed both hands on Brendon’s hips this time and began to work up a nice, steady pace. His head was bobbing up and down, his tongue licking and teasing.

“Ry…I’m gonna…Ryan…” Brendon started to breath out. Ryan knew what was coming and was going to pull off and let Brendon come all over his stomach, but something made him stop. God help him, but he wanted to know what Brendon tasted like. Closing his eyes, he hollowed his cheeks and started sucking harder. A few seconds later he felt the first warm spurt of come hit the back of his throat. It took everything in him to swallow it down before the next shot hit and the next one after that. Finally, after a few moments, Brendon’s legs stopped shaking and Ryan knew it was all over. Bobbing off one last time, he gently kissed Brendon’s now soft cock before getting back on to his feet.

Looking down at the young boy on the couch, Ryan still couldn’t believe what he’d just done. Even more so, he couldn’t believe that Brendon had slept through the whole thing. So Brendon had never done it intentionally, he had been asleep all those times. And Ryan loved him.

Leaning forward, Ryan was about to tell Brendon to pull his pants up and go to bed, but he stopped. Why the hell should he do that? So maybe a couple of things had been cleared up now, but Ryan still thought that he had suffered because of Brendon’s abnormal sleepwalking and justice needed to take place. It was more fun to leave him like that, so that’s just what Ryan did. But before leaving, he kissed Brendon one last time.

“I do love you, you big idiot.” Ryan said, smiling, then headed back to his bunk.

~~~~~~~

“What the hell, Urie!” Zack screamed out. “No one wants to see that!”

“Huh…what?” Brendon tried to scramble to his feet but fell flat on his face. “What the hell happened?” He looked at Zack, who was smirking at him.

“If you’re gonna jerk off in the back of the bus, at least remember to cover yourself back up before falling asleep,” Zack laughed at him before heading back up the front of the bus.

“What?” Brendon looked at his sleep pants that were still around his ankles. “I wasn’t back here, jerking off!” he yelled after Zack as he cut up, quickly pulling the pants back on.

“Sure you weren’t,” Zack just laughed.

“Oh god, was I really jerking off back here?” Brendon sat back down on the couch, closing his eyes. Suddenly thoughts of Ryan’s mouth on his cock flashed in his head. Ryan’s lips ghosting over his flesh, Ryan’s tongue, Ryan’s hands holding him down, Ryan telling him… fuck. Did Ryan tell him he loved him last night?

Brendon moved his hand to his hip. Lifting the fabric of his sleep pants up, he could see the telltale signs of bruises forming on his flesh. They almost looked like hand prints.

Ryan’s hand prints.

Oh shit. Oh fuck. What happened last night?

“Morning, Bren,” Jon said, walking into the room a cup of coffee in his hand. “You sleep back here?”

“Um… what?” Brendon slowly looked up at his bassist.

“Did you sleep back here last night?” Jon said again with a bit of a chuckle in his voice.

“Um… yeah I guess I did.” Brendon looked so confused.

“What’s the matter?” Jon sat next to him on the couch.

“I think I’m losing my mind.” Brendon sighed.

“Why? What happened?”

“I had a dream last night that Ryan gave me a blowjob.”

“Really?” Jon almost choked on his coffee.

“It seemed so real,” Brendon buried his head in his hands. “Oh fuck, I am losing my mind!”

Jon just shook his head, thinking that Brendon’s dream probably hadn’t been a dream at all. Ryan Ross could be a sly fuck sometimes.

Spencer walked to the front of the bus, spotting Ryan sitting at the little kitchen table, staring out the window. “Morning,” he said, and Ryan looked up at him.

“Morn- Ow!” A sharp pain shot through Ryan’s jaw. “Fuck, that hurt.”

“What?” Spencer looked at his best friend, concerned.

“My fucking jaw is killing me.” Ryan rubbed his chin.

“What did you do, Ross?” Spencer gave him a look that meant don’t-fucking-lie-to-me-or-I-will-kick-your-ass.

“I I kinda gave Brendon a blowjob last night,” he blurted out quickly before he banged his head against the table, wrapping his arms around his head to cover it.

“You what? ” Spencer gasped way too loudly.

“Would you keep it down?” Ryan hissed and shot Spencer a look.

“I said you should talk to him,” Spencer laughed almost hysterically, “not blow him!”

“Shut the fuck up, Smith,” Ryan snapped and covered his head again, his cheeks feeling a bit hot.

“Sorry.” Spencer tried his best to contain his laughter. “But what the hell were you thinking?”

“I… I don’t know.” Ryan started banging his head on the table.

“Would you stop that.” Spencer rested his hand on Ryan’s head. “Now tell me what happened?” He slowly started rubbing the top of Ryan’s head. “Leave nothing out.”

Ryan quickly looked up at his best friend who merely winked at him.

“You confuse me sometimes.” Ryan cleared his throat and grimaced. Who knew that giving a blow job could be so painful? “So last night, I got up to get a drink of water and that’s when I found Brendon in the back watching Mulan.”

“God, I hate that movie.” Spencer made a face then took a drink of his coffee.

“Well, anyway,” Ryan started to draw circles on the top of the table. “I saw that Bren was back there watching the movie, and I thought it would be a perfect time to really sit down and talk to him. Well, once I got into the room I noticed that he was asleep… with his hand down his pants.”

Spencer’s eyes just about popped out of his head. “Gross! Brendon jerks off watching Disney movies?”

“Focus, Spence!” Ryan glared at him.

“Sorry,” Spencer smiled. “Please continue.”

“Well, I thought the same thing you just thought. Brendon was sitting there masturbating to fucking Mulan. That’s until he said my name. Hell, more like moaned it out.” Ryan’s eyes slowly slid shut at the memory of his name on Brendon’s lips.

“Whoa.” Spencer sipped more of his coffee.

“No shit.” Ryan let out a slow breath. “Then he started talking about how good my mouth felt and shit like that, and, well… I gave him a blowjob.”

“What did it taste like?” Spencer asked, leaning closer to Ryan.

“Are you fucking serious?” Ryan just couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Why the hell would Spencer want to know what Brendon’s dick tasted like?

“Come on, you can tell me.” Spencer practically pouted when he said it.

Ryan looked at him curiously then grinned. “Fine, you really want to know?”

“Yes. Please.” Spencer grinned sitting up straighter in his seat.

Ryan held out his hand that he’d been sitting on for a while making it sweat. “Lick it.”

“What?” Spencer looked at him confused but did it anyway.

“What’d it taste like?” Ryan smirked at him.

“Salty.” Spencer answered.

“Well, that’s what it tastes like… well, sorta.” He sighed. “I can’t really describe it.” His eyes closed again remembering the feel of Brendon on his lips. On his tongue.

“Did you spit or swallow?”

“Shut the fuck up, Spin.” Ryan hit him in the arm.

Just then Jon came into the small kitchenette. He looked at Ryan then at Spencer before going over to the cabinet to get out his coffee mug.

“Good morning, Ryan.” he smiled at him. “How’d you sleep last night?” he asked as he made himself a cup of coffee.

“Fine. Why?” Ryan grimaced again, grabbing his jaw.

“What’s the matter? You do something to your jaw?” Jon gave him a knowing look.

“No!” Ryan pushed himself out of the booth then headed back to his bunk. “I’m going back to bed.”

“So?” Spencer looked at Jon.

“Those two are gonna be the death of me… no, of us.” Jon sat down next to Spencer.

“Does Brendon think it was another dream?” Spencer rested his head on Jon’s shoulder.

“Yeah.” Jon took a sip of his coffee loving the feeling of Spencer so close.

“Did he say he liked it?” Spencer slowly smiled, almost nuzzling Jon’s neck with his nose. Even first thing in the morning Jon smelled good. Spencer let out a content sigh.

“Spencer Smith!” Jon gasped then started to laugh. “What do you think?”

“Yeah… right.” Spencer lifted his head to look at Jon. “We need to help those two.”

“What do you suggest we do? It’s not like we can lock them in a room or something.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that.” Spencer got an evil grin on his face then kissed Jon on the cheek. “Sometimes you’re too damn smart, Jonathan Jacob Walker.”

“Should I be worried?” Jon looked deep into Spencer’s eyes.

“Just leave it to me. By this time next week those two will be all over each other and not just while their sleeping.”

part two