losing
i'm losing everything, i swear to merlin.
i lost my faith, so im reading the bible everyday, praying more, and running after god with all the energy i can muster. why? because i realize now that the one year i was really christian was quite possibly the best year of my life.
im losing my parents. all we do is fight, or we're not talking.
im losing my health because i know i need to eat, but after i do, i feel completely disgusted with myself.
im losing friends. im losing some of the people who have meant the most to me in recent months and not one of them cares enough to call me...
jesus, im pathetic.
im also slowly losing it. the seaweed is tangled around my ankles and im not sure how much longer i can keep my head above water before im dragged down into the dephs of my depression. only when i hit the bottom am i able to realy pop the lethal pills.
my hallucinations are starting up again. little things at first, the usual, blood, gore. now? people.
and not one person can help me and gods voice, which used to be screaming in my ear isnt even a whisper anymore.
i just wish someone cared enough to pull me out of the water. only when im around people, usually, does the treat of hallucination go away...
im broken.
i lost my faith, so im reading the bible everyday, praying more, and running after god with all the energy i can muster. why? because i realize now that the one year i was really christian was quite possibly the best year of my life.
im losing my parents. all we do is fight, or we're not talking.
im losing my health because i know i need to eat, but after i do, i feel completely disgusted with myself.
im losing friends. im losing some of the people who have meant the most to me in recent months and not one of them cares enough to call me...
jesus, im pathetic.
im also slowly losing it. the seaweed is tangled around my ankles and im not sure how much longer i can keep my head above water before im dragged down into the dephs of my depression. only when i hit the bottom am i able to realy pop the lethal pills.
my hallucinations are starting up again. little things at first, the usual, blood, gore. now? people.
and not one person can help me and gods voice, which used to be screaming in my ear isnt even a whisper anymore.
i just wish someone cared enough to pull me out of the water. only when im around people, usually, does the treat of hallucination go away...
im broken.