Tip 4
Learn from other successful authors. Sometimes a paragraph appears to have extra words. However, as with adding vanilla to pancakes, those “extra” ingredients trigger sensory responses to the story. Thus, fewer sentences are necessary. This and the next three examples are from Our Game by John le Carre, an author whose books were made into movies. Carre enhances the plot by using metaphors to help readers identify with his protagonist Tim Cranmer, a retired British spy.
“But a British passport lends itself badly to adaptation, and vintage models such as May’s and Baristow’s are the worst. No page exists in violation of any other. Sheets are concertinaed, then stitched into the binding with a single piece of thread. The printer’s ink is water-based and runs the moment you start to fiddle with it. Watermarks and colour gradations are impressively complex, as the resentful white-coated instructors of the Office forgery section never tired of telling us: “With your British passport, gentlemen, you do better to suit your man to the document…” they would intone, with a venom more commonly associated with army sergeants addressing officer cadets.”
Our Game by John le Carre Alfred A. Knopf, New York, 1995 (236).
Here, readers know why a British passport is difficult to forge, along with the frustration of Cranmer. The last few sentences convey the disdain at being treated like an inferior that Cranmer has buried in his being.
Cassandra Wolf wrote Celtic Warriors, a Christian historical fiction/romance novella, which can be purchased at:
Amazon (U.S.): https://www.amazon.com/Celtic-Warriors-Cassandra-Wolf-ebook/dp/B06Y4YM68F/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495601159&sr=8-1&keywords=Celtic+warriors%2C+Cassandra
Amazon (U.K.): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Celtic-Warriors-Cassandra-Wolf-ebook/dp/B06Y4YM68F/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495601319&sr=8-1&keywords=celtic+warrior%2C+cassandra
Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/celtic-warriors-cassandra-wolf/1126166145?ean=9780692862544
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/celtic-warriors/id1222941527?mt=11
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/celtic-warriors-1
“But a British passport lends itself badly to adaptation, and vintage models such as May’s and Baristow’s are the worst. No page exists in violation of any other. Sheets are concertinaed, then stitched into the binding with a single piece of thread. The printer’s ink is water-based and runs the moment you start to fiddle with it. Watermarks and colour gradations are impressively complex, as the resentful white-coated instructors of the Office forgery section never tired of telling us: “With your British passport, gentlemen, you do better to suit your man to the document…” they would intone, with a venom more commonly associated with army sergeants addressing officer cadets.”
Our Game by John le Carre Alfred A. Knopf, New York, 1995 (236).
Here, readers know why a British passport is difficult to forge, along with the frustration of Cranmer. The last few sentences convey the disdain at being treated like an inferior that Cranmer has buried in his being.
Cassandra Wolf wrote Celtic Warriors, a Christian historical fiction/romance novella, which can be purchased at:
Amazon (U.S.): https://www.amazon.com/Celtic-Warriors-Cassandra-Wolf-ebook/dp/B06Y4YM68F/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495601159&sr=8-1&keywords=Celtic+warriors%2C+Cassandra
Amazon (U.K.): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Celtic-Warriors-Cassandra-Wolf-ebook/dp/B06Y4YM68F/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495601319&sr=8-1&keywords=celtic+warrior%2C+cassandra
Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/celtic-warriors-cassandra-wolf/1126166145?ean=9780692862544
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/celtic-warriors/id1222941527?mt=11
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/celtic-warriors-1