Tip 3
Learn from other successful authors. Sometimes a paragraph appears to have extra words. However, as with adding vanilla to pancakes, those “extra” ingredients trigger sensory responses to the story. Thus, fewer sentences are necessary. This and the next three examples are from Our Game by John le Carre, an author whose books were made into movies. Carre enhances the plot by using metaphors to help readers identify with his protagonist Tim Cranmer, a retired British spy.
“A sinuous cloud of freezing mist curled at me out of the brook as I crossed the footbridge. Reaching the wicket gate, I disengaged the latch and lowered it to its housing. Then I rammed the gate back as fast as I could, causing an indignant shriek to add itself briefly to the night sounds. I stole up the path and through the old cemetery that was Uncle Bob’s last resting place, to the porch, where I groped for the keyhole. In total blackness, I guided the key into the lock, gave it a sharp twist, shoved the door, and stepped inside.”
Our Game by John le Carre Alfred A. Knopf, New York, 1995 (85).
Here, readers can visualize Cranmer fleeing, know the pace at which he moves, and the setting. Le Carre would not have achieved theses effects, had Cranmer stated, “I ran across a bridge. Then, I ran across a graveyard. A cold mist made the night eerie.”
Cassandra Wolf wrote Celtic Warriors, a Christian historical fiction/romance novella, which can be purchased at:
Amazon (U.S.): https://www.amazon.com/Celtic-Warriors-Cassandra-Wolf-ebook/dp/B06Y4YM68F/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495601159&sr=8-1&keywords=Celtic+warriors%2C+Cassandra
Amazon (U.K.): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Celtic-Warriors-Cassandra-Wolf-ebook/dp/B06Y4YM68F/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495601319&sr=8-1&keywords=celtic+warrior%2C+cassandra
Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/celtic-warriors-cassandra-wolf/1126166145?ean=9780692862544
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/celtic-warriors/id1222941527?mt=11
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/celtic-warriors-1
“A sinuous cloud of freezing mist curled at me out of the brook as I crossed the footbridge. Reaching the wicket gate, I disengaged the latch and lowered it to its housing. Then I rammed the gate back as fast as I could, causing an indignant shriek to add itself briefly to the night sounds. I stole up the path and through the old cemetery that was Uncle Bob’s last resting place, to the porch, where I groped for the keyhole. In total blackness, I guided the key into the lock, gave it a sharp twist, shoved the door, and stepped inside.”
Our Game by John le Carre Alfred A. Knopf, New York, 1995 (85).
Here, readers can visualize Cranmer fleeing, know the pace at which he moves, and the setting. Le Carre would not have achieved theses effects, had Cranmer stated, “I ran across a bridge. Then, I ran across a graveyard. A cold mist made the night eerie.”
Cassandra Wolf wrote Celtic Warriors, a Christian historical fiction/romance novella, which can be purchased at:
Amazon (U.S.): https://www.amazon.com/Celtic-Warriors-Cassandra-Wolf-ebook/dp/B06Y4YM68F/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495601159&sr=8-1&keywords=Celtic+warriors%2C+Cassandra
Amazon (U.K.): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Celtic-Warriors-Cassandra-Wolf-ebook/dp/B06Y4YM68F/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495601319&sr=8-1&keywords=celtic+warrior%2C+cassandra
Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/celtic-warriors-cassandra-wolf/1126166145?ean=9780692862544
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/celtic-warriors/id1222941527?mt=11
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/celtic-warriors-1