PoA Re-read: Chapters Nine and Ten
Chapters 1-2
Chapters 3-4
Chapters 5-6
Chapters 7-8
Chapter Nine: Grim Defeat
Everyone is evacuated to the Great Hall so that Dumbledore and company can conduct a search of the castle. The prefects are told to stand guard, and the Head Boy and Girl are in charge of the students. They’re having fifteen and sixteen year olds stand guard? That’s a really bad idea. Why wouldn’t the Dementors do it? Or better yet, other adults? I know the Order might not have been conceived of yet, maybe not even Aurors but at the very least you’d think they’d least have Ministry officials there. Maybe they’re too busy looking around Hogsmeade.
Dumbledore summons sleeping bags, which ultimately makes this the most awkward sleepover ever. The trio huddle into a corner, because they apparently even sleep away from everyone else when given the choice. Hermione’s worried that Sirius is still in the castle, and says it’s a good thing it was the one night they weren’t in the tower.
Everyone’s asking how he got in and has theories. He flew! He apparated!
Hermione’s offended because it’s obvious no one else has read Hogwarts, a History, and thus doesn’t realize these things couldn’t be possible. She says she’d love to see the disguise that could fool Dementors. You will, Hermione. You will.
Percy announces that it’s lights out, because they’re five years old. Harry apparently decides not to sleep, because he notices that once every hour teachers check to make sure that “everything was quiet.” How about check that none of them had been murdered? Hogwarts teachers need to sort out their priorities. Percy asks Dumbledore in a whisper if there’d been any sign of Sirius; there of course hasn’t, but Dumbledore has found a temporary guardian for the portrait hole. The Fat Lady is still distressed, so we won’t be hearing from her anytime soon.
Snape approaches Dumbledore, and asks if he has any idea how Sirius got in. He then reminds Dumbledore of the “conversation” they’d had at the beginning of the year, and goes on to say he thinks it’s very likely Sirius had inside help, and that he expressed his concerns over who Dumbledore had appointed. He tries to say the name, but Dumbledore cuts him off. It’s clear now, of course, that he’s implying Remus did it. Snape… think about this. Why on earth would Remus help the guy who, as far as anyone knows, killed Lily and James? Of course, Snape's probably basing this partly on the fact that he still holds a grudge, partly on the fact that he isn't the biggest supporter of werewolves.
Percy asks if the Dementors wanted to help, and Dumbledore responds that he just refused to let them in the castle. Percy looks abashed, and Snape looks resentful.
The next several days, everyone speculates wildly. Hannah Abbot's theory is that he could turn into a flowering shrub; she’s actually not so far off. Meanwhile, Sir Cadogan has replaced The Fat Lady, and challenges Gryffindors to duels. Percy tails Harry almost everywhere, something Harry has a feeling Molly ordered. Yeah, I can see that.
McGonagall has a moment of clarity, and decides to tell Harry that Sirius is after him. Harry says he already knows. McGonagall’s relieved that she doesn’t have to tell a thirteen year old that he has a murderer after him, but still tells him he shouldn’t practice Quidditch. Harry protests, so McGonagall agrees to it if Madame Hooch watches over them.
At the final training session before the game, Oliver announces angrily that they’re playing Hufflepuff, not Slytherin, because Flint claims Draco’s too poorly injured. However, it’s obvious that the real problem is the weather. Um… guys… you’re in Scotland. In November. You can’t be this new to bad weather. The problem is that they’ve practiced all the wrong moves, as they’d prepared to play against Slytherin. Their new Captain and Seeker is Cedric Diggory - hey, a character we actually meet a book before they hold significance to the plot!
Angelina, Katie and Alicia giggle because he’s attractive and “strong and silent.” Fred implies Cedric’s a creepy stalker who - oh wait, wrong book, wrong RPatz. Actually, he just implies Cedric’s too dumb to talk. Oliver continues to freak out, saying they can’t relax because Slytherin’s trying to destroy them and they MUST WIN NOW.
The day before the match, the weather still stinks and Draco’s still complaining about his arm. Okay, I’m going to say it - is this the character everyone in fandom turned into a Sex God? A truly sexy guy would play anyway, “because I can be strong” or something. Spike (who I think was pretty much the Fandom Draco prototype) would kick his ass. Just saying.
Harry makes a mad dash to DADA after Oliver holds them up, and low and behold, Snape’s teaching the class. NO. Harry stands still and asks where Remus is.
FFP: Damn straight he does.
Snape says he’s ill, but Harry refuses to budge until Snape takes five points from Gryffindor and threatens detention. As losing more House Points and facing detention with Snape is a fate worse than death, Harry finally obliges. I can only imagine how much thrill Snape got from punishing James for being friends with Remus through Harry. Which is… weird.
Snape claims Remus didn’t leave any notes about where they’d left off, so Hermione tells him they’d just finished Red Caps. Snape cuts her off and says he was just commenting on how shitty of a teacher Remus was. Dean says he’s actually the best Professor they ever had, which makes Snape angrier. Snape flips through the book and says they will be covering werewolves.
Okay, at this point I have to admit I’m not sure how so many fans didn’t pick up on it. The guy’s name is Remus LUPIN, and someone who hates him wants his students to read about werewolves right after they say how great he was. I missed it, as did much of fandom, it seems. But how?
*Ahem*
Hermione raises her hand and says they were supposed to be covering hinkypunks. I wouldn’t have dared, but I have to admire her boldness here. Snape yells at them to turn to page -
FFP: 394.
Me: It is not healthy to remember that without skipping a beat.
Snape asks how you can distinguish a werewolf from a true wolf, which pretty much debunks Hollywood werewolves off the bat. (And also, the weird Gollumwolf in the PoA movie.) Hermione raises her hand, but Snape ignores her. She finally cuts in, and Snape tells her she’s lost five points from Gryffindor for being an “insufferable know-it-all.”
Everyone glares at Snape, but Harry thinks it's really a mark of how much they hate him, because all of them have called Hermione one before. Ouch. Another anvil drops when Ron exclaims that Hermione just answered his question. Everyone gasps, and Ron gets detention. NOOOOO.
Snape spends the duration of class talking about what a dumb ol' tosser Lupin is. He doesn't even know Kappas are found in Mongolia! (I believe according to Fantastic Beasts, they're actually found in Japan or something, right?) Lupin also gave someone an 8/10 when he would've given them a 3. I... might have actually made a similar comment once when reviewing someone's English paper. In my head, but still. It's official, I'm a horrible person. :P
When the bell rings (again, I don't remember Hogwarts having bells? I always thought that was a fanfic thing), Snape tells them to write two rolls of parchment on how to recognize and kill werewolves -
FFP: I'll kill SNAPE if he says 'kill werewolves' ever again.
Me: Easy tiger...
FFP: Wolfy. Call me wolfy.
Me: ...
Ron has to stay behind, probably to hear a Why You Suck Speech, so it's Harry and Hermione who talk. I'm not sure they've actually spoken alone more than twice now.
Which brings me to an observation - at this point, Ron and Hermione appear to be closer than Harry and Hermione. Not that she isn't still his best friend, but I actually think it's later - maybe starting in the fifth book - that they really have something akin to what Ron and Harry have. But of course Ron and Hermione seem to have their own "thing" as well. It's one of the signs that they'll end up together later on.
Harry asks Hermione why she thinks Remus hates Snape. Is it because of the Boggart? Hermione isn't sure, but hopes Remus gets better soon.
Another aside, slightly belated: It really is petty of Snape to hate Remus so much, he actually asks his students to basically figure out that he's a werewolf and then write how to kill him. Let it go, Snape. Let those grudges go.
Ron joins them, angry and saying "something" that makes Hermione go "Ron!" The funny thing is that straight lace Hermione seems so... different from who she becomes later on, yet a bit closer to the movies. Hermione always had more of an edge to her than the movies portrayed, she was always bossy and sometimes not all that tactful (see the rabbit scene last post), but here she's still very much about following the rules and not saying bad words. That just isn't who she is even in the next book, and I actually think this book is where it starts, following the blow up at Trelawney that's coming in the next few chapters.
Peeves wakes Harry up at quarter after four am by blowing into his ear. Harry tries to get back to sleep, but he can't because the thunder's rumbling. He leaves the dormitory to find Crookshanks trying to sneak in; Harry pulls him out and say he thinks Ron's right that something's wrong with him, and to leave Scabbers alone. He moseys down into the common room, thinking about the upcoming Quidditch match and how because Cedric's bigger, he'll have more advantage against the wind.
Harry eats with the rest of the team in the Great Hall, and Oliver refuses to eat anything because "it's going to be a tough one." Alicia assures him that it's just a bit of rain; torrential downpour would be more accurate.
When they get to the field, everyone's watching and the Green Plastics are laughing at Harry. Oliver tries to give everyone a pep talk, but he just gulps. That's encouraging.
It isn't long before Harry is soaked, and his Nimbus is swerving slightly with the wind. He can barely see his teammates, let alone the snitch. He can't see anything, and loses track of time until Oliver calls for a time-out. We learn that the Gryffindors are fifty points up, but Harry still can't see. Hermione magically appears at Harry's shoulder and puts a water repelling charm on his glasses. So it's... all good now?
The game goes on, and Harry is happy that even though he can barely feel his fingers, he can see. Fair enough, I guess. The thunder claps again, and Harry realizes it's getting more and more dangerous. Lightning flashes, and Harry sees something that completely distracts him: - the silhouette of an enormous shaggy black dog, clearly imprinted against the sky, motionless in the topmost, empty row of seats.
FFP: SIRIUS! OH MY BOB!
Harry's hands slip, and the Nimbus drops. When Harry squints, the "dog" has vanished. Oliver yells that Cedric is behind him, about to catch the Snitch (isn't that technically cheating?), and Harry panics, rushing the broom towards him.
And then it happens: a silence fills the stadium, and Harry feels "a familiar wave of cold" come over him. He looks down to see "at least a hundred Dementors." Harry can hear someone screaming... below is what he hears next:
“Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!” “Stand aside, you silly girl . . . stand aside, now. . . .” “Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead -” Numbing, swirling white mist was filling Harry’s brain. . . . What was he doing? Why was he flying? He needed to help her. . . . She was going to die. . . . She was going to be murdered. . . . He was falling, falling through the icy mist. “Not Harry ! Please . . . have mercy . . . have mercy. . . .” A shrill voice was laughing, the woman was screaming, and Harry knew no more.
I wonder if I was the only one who thought it was the Dementors or Sirius attacking Harry and it was Hermione, when I read PoA for the very first time? Of course it made sense later on.
Harry slowly wakes up in the Hospital Wing, where the entire Quidditch Team is standing over him. Harry's body aches and it takes him a minute to remember why he's there.
Fred looks white, which is noteworthy only because the twins aren't often written as individuals, much less scared ones. He asks Harry how he's feeling and says he fell about fifty feet. And he's alive? Do wizards have super strength or something? Alicia adds that they thought he was dead. Hermione just squeaks, as she's clearly been crying.
Ever a man of honor, Harry asks about the match and if there's a rematch. We learn that Cedric got the snitch, and tried to call it off once he realized Harry had fallen. But even Oliver admitted Hufflepuff had one; he's apparently in the showers trying to drown himself.
Harry puts his face to his knees, and I'm reminded of the fact that really, he's still a kid. Poor kid. Fred shakes Harry's shoulder and tells him he's never missed the snitch before, and George agrees. But this isn't the point; the point is that he's never lost a match until now.
Pomfrey makes the team leave, but doesn't bother telling Ron or Hermione to. There must be some sort of code at that school: You do not mess with the TRIO. Hermione tells Harry that Dumbledore was furious, and that he "shot silver stuff at them (the Dementors)." We'll learn this must have been a Patronus. Harry is lost in his thoughts, however, thinking about what the screaming voice could mean. When he realizes his friends are staring at him, he casually asks what happened to the Nimbus.
Oh crap.
Ron and Hermione exchange awkward looks, and Hermione breaks the news to Harry: The Nimbus hit the Whomping Willow. Ron adds that it "doesn't like being hit." Hermione spills out wood and twig onto Harry's bed, which he realizes is what's left of his "faithful, finally beaten broomstick."
Chapter Ten: The Marauder's Map
FFP: I LOVE THE MARAUDERS!
Me: Really? I never would have guessed.
Harry lets Pomfrey keep him in the Hospital Wing for the weekend, but won't let her throw away the Nimbus's remains. He feels as though he's lost "one of his best friends." Let's not get carried away here...
He has a stream of visitors and corresponding presents, including a singing get-well card from a blushing Ginny. The card won't stop singing unless he keeps it under a fruit bowl. Where's a good chest monster when you need one? But nothing can console him, not even Ron and Hermione, because even they don't know he saw the Grim - after all, he reasons, Ron would get worried and Hermione would dismiss him. I can't argue with that. Harry can't help wondering if the Grim will haunt him until he "actually dies."
Even worse, however, is his realization of what the Dementors make him remember: His parents. The passage puts it far better than I could, so:
Because Harry knew who that screaming voice belonged to now. He had heard her words, heard them over and over again during the night hours in the hospital wing while he lay awake, staring at the strips of moonlight on the ceiling. When the dementors approached him, he heard the last moments of his mother’s life, her attempts to protect him, Harry, from Lord Voldemort, and Voldemort’s laughter before he murdered her. . . . Harry dozed fitfully, sinking into dreams full of clammy, rotted hands and petrified pleading , jerking awake to dwell again on his mother’s voice.
Good lord, poor Harry. I really want to hug him now.
Draco taunts Harry in Potions until Ron throws a Crocodile heart at him. Snape takes points off Gryffindor, and Ron says if he's teaching DADA again, he'll skip classes. Fortunately, Remus is back. He looks as though he's been ill, but he's there and that's all that matters.
Everyone instantly starts complaining about Snape and the werewolf essay. Remus frowns and asks if they'd told Snape they hadn't covered werewolves yet; the complaining continues. Remus tells them they don't have to do it, but naturally Hermione already has and is very disappointed. Oh, Hermione.
The subsequent lesson is on hinkypunks, which lure travelers into bogs with lantern-like hands. Once class is over, Remus asks Harry to stay behind. He's heard about the match, and wants to make sure Harry's okay. Harry says his Nimbus was destroyed, and Remus sighs knowingly, saying they planted the Willow "the same year I arrived." That's one way of putting it... we learn about a boy named Davey Gudgeon who nearly lost an eye trying to get to it, and I kind of wish we'd met him in one of the later books.
FFP: I have a head canon for him.
Me: Of course you do.
FFP: Sirius's ex-girlfriend marries him. She can turn into a unicorn.
Me: Again... of course.
Harry asks Remus if he heard about the Dementors. Remus of course has, and said nobody has ever seen Dumbledore that angry. I know I already said this, but I miss Magical Grandpa!Dumbledore.
Harry asks Remus why they affect him like that, and why he is so "weak." He never gets to say the "weak" part, but Remus knows exactlywhat he was going to say and quickly says that this does not make Harry "weak."
Now this is interesting. Forgetting that Remus knew James and Lily, I think he also sees Harry as being a lot like himself. While being a werewolf is quite different from being triggered by a Dementor, you still have that inability to control yourself, and the inability of others to understand that. Remus probably had a very similar conversation with an adult in his life at one point.
Remus goes on to say that the reason he's more affected is that he's faced horrors most people his age haven't. (Though I have to wonder why Ginny doesn't also faint, then? Is it that she wouldn't remember most of what happened to her, given she was literally possessed whereas Harry was fully himself, if too young to understand at the time what was happening?) Remus goes on to explain that even muggles feel (but can't see) Dementors, and that if you're too close to one, every good feeling and happy memory will be sucked out of you, and that eventually you'll just become soulless. Sweet dreams, six year olds reading this book! (This sort of thing is precisely why I never really bought that little kids read them.)
Harry tells Remus what he has not told anyone else: "When they get near me, I can hear Voldemort murdering my Mum."
This has to be horrifying enough to hear out of the mouth of a thirteen year old boy, but I can only imagine if the boy's Mum had been a friend of mine, or the spouse of my best friend. Remus makes a sudden motion as if to grip Harry's shoulder, but stops himself. I would probably have had that exact same reaction, when I think about it. (Unless the boy in question knew that I'd known his parents. But as far as Harry knows, Remus is just a teacher who he can trust.)
Harry breaks the awkward silence by asking why the Dementors came; apparently they were "hungry." Nice. Harry mentions that Azkaban must be terrible, and we learn that it's a fortress on a tiny island, but that the prisoners don't really need all that because most of them go mad anyway. Harry points out that Sirius didn't, and Remus knocks his briefcase off his desk. Huh, sounds like something Tonks would do... just saying. (Wow, I made it ten chapters without a single Remus/Tonks reference. This has to be a record.)
Remus goes on to say that "Black" (as though you weren't on first name basis with him, Moony) must have found a way to fight them. This is interesting - he says he wouldn't have believed it possible as Dementors are supposed to drain a wizard's powers. Is this how Remus sleeps at night, knowing Sirius is an animagus, by telling himself Sirius had had that drained, at least? Or does he know full well that must be how Sirius escaped, and just doesn't want to let onto that? It still bothers me that he kept this from Dumbledore when they were all fifteen year old idiots, but I digress.
Harry asks how Remus fought the Dementor, and Remus goes on to say there are defenses. Harry asks if Remus can teach him; after a lot of hesitation, Remus agrees, but only after the holidays because he's busy and "I chose a very inconvenient time to fall ill."
Life looks good again as they head towards the end of term. Two weeks prior, there is already a "buzz of Christmas in the air." Flitwick decorates his classroom with fairies, and Ron and Hermione make the decision to stay at Hogwarts with Harry. Aww, though I'm not sure my parents would've been happy about that. They find out there's going to be a Hogsmeade trip the last weekend of term. Harry borrows a book about broomsticks from Oliver for the day. Harry has, for the time being, been using a broom called a "Shooting Star." I think that about says it all.
Ron and Hermione leave, and Harry's heading back to the Gryffindor Tower when he gets called over by the twins, who are hiding behind the statue of a one-eyed witch. They have, for him, "a bit of festive cheer."
FFP: The most awesome map in, like, the world.
They lead him into a classroom and lay out a blank roll of parchment with nothing written on it. Harry naturally suspects this is yet another prank, but nope, it's the "secret to our success," which they no longer need because they have it memorized. Clearly unimpressed and a touch ungrateful, Harry asks what he needs with "a bit of parchment."
Long shared conversation short, the twins stole it from Filch's office, more specifically a cabinet marked Confiscated and Highly Dangerous. George assures Harry it's not as bad as it sounds, you just need to know how to work it. Harry is still utterly unconvinced, so George taps the map and says,
FFP: I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. It's my email password...
As soon as George says this, thin ink lines spread like a spider's web. Soon green words form, proclaiming:
Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs
Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers
are proud to present THE MARAUDER’S MAP.
(Look, this thing deserves its full exposition, okay?)
And for those of you who weren't in fandom, yes, that's where "MWPP" comes from. There was also a debate on whether or not MWPP actually called themselves Marauders or not... I'm 87% sure JK Rowling later confirmed this was the case. Anyway.
The map shows every detail of Hogwarts imaginable. A labeled dot in the top left corner showed that Professor Dumbledore was pacing his study; the caretaker’s cat, Mrs. Norris, was prowling the second floor; and Peeves the Poltergeist was currently bouncing around the trophy room. And as Harry’s eyes traveled up and down the familiar corridors, he noticed something else.
The "something else" is a set of passages that lead into Hogsmeade. There are seven, but Filch already knows about four, and one is "blocked by the Whomping Willow." Together, everybody - FORESHADOWING! The one eyed witch statue, however, is safe as it leads into Honeydukes. George goes on to say how much they owe Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. I really wish we'd seen their reactions when they figured it out.
Harry hesitates because he knows Arthur said you "shouldn't trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain", but he's pretty sure it's fine because he doesn't want to do anything wrong. In fairness, Harry, neither did Ginny. Have you really forgotten that quickly? Of course it's just as well, given that the map doesn't really think for itself so much as echo the humor of his father and godfather.
When Harry looks at the statue, and back at the map, a tiny bubble has formed saying: "Dissendium!" Sure enough, beyond it is a passageway. Harry quickly says "mischief managed!" and the map goes blank. The passage is dark and windy, but he manages. His head hits something hard, and he realizes it's a trap door. He climbs into the cellar, waits for the footsteps to pass, and stands up as soon as the man's head is otherwise occupied.
Honeydukes is filled with candy and students, so much none of them notice Harry literally popping up out of nowhere. Harry makes his way towards Ron and Hermione, who are looking at a tray of blood flavored lollipops that must be for vampires. Ron jokes that they should get Harry cockroach clusters instead. Aww, they're flirting. Kind of.
Harry says he'd definitely NOT like them, and Ron thinks Harry's learned to Apparate. Oh, Ron. Harry explains the Marauders' Map, and Hermione says Harry should hand it in to McGonagall. After all, she supposes, Sirius Black could be using one of the passages. Actually, Hermione's kind of right about that. But Ron points to a sign saying Dementors will be patrolling the streets every night, so of course Sirius couldn't break in. Also of note, the measure is "for the safety of the Hogsmeade residents." I'm sure the aforementioned Hogsmeades residents would beg to differ.
Hermione still doesn't like it, so Harry asks jokingly if she's going to report him. She responds, "oh - of course not - but honestly, Harry." God, I'd really forgotten what a goody two shoes Hermione was. I always thought that was more of a movie thing. Don't get me wrong, I would totally have had the same reaction, I think it's just so different from the Hermione we see in later books. (Although she did have concerns about the "Prince's Book", but from what I remember, it was more of an issue when the spells were actually showing Harry how to do things less benign than sneaking to Hogwarts.)
They go outside, and Harry observes that Hogsmeade looks like "a little Christmas card." the little thatched cottages and shops were all covered in a layer of crisp snow; there were holly wreaths on the doors and strings of enchanted candles hanging in the trees. Wow, I kind of want to live there now.
Ron suggests they stop to The Three Broomsticks for Butterbeer first. (Oh dear, that scene.) When they get there, he goes red at the sight of Madame Rosmerta, who is described as being "curvy" and currently hosting a rowdy bunch of "warlocks." I think this is one of the few times we hear of wizards being called warlocks. Is there any difference?
Harry thinks Butterbeer must be the most delicious thing he's ever tasted. But his merriment doesn't last long; McGonagall, Flitwick, Fudge and Hagrid enter the pub. Are they drinking buddies all of a sudden? I can buy McGonagall, Flitwick and Hagrid, it's Fudge I find... unlikely. They're so pro-Dumbledore, and Fudge clearly is not. Not to mention that Hagrid's half giant, unless Fudge is unaware of this. Maybe they've just decided to corner him under the guise of alcohol.
Instantly Ron and Hermione place their hands on Harry's head and shove him under the table. I swear he's like their child or something sometimes. Hermione magically moves the Christmas tree towards them. The Odd Crowd order drinks, which I'm sure someone in fandom has psychoanalyzed, and Fudge asks Rosmerta to join them. She asks why Fudge is in Hogsmeade; he's apparently there because of Sirius Black, after what happened at Halloween. Except that would've been... roughly eight weeks prior? Either JK Rowling really can't do math, or Fudge's reaction time sucks. Or, as usual, he's bullshitting.
Rosmerta decides to bring up the fact that the Dementors have scared away all of her customers, but Fudge says it's necessary, and points out that they're upset enough about not being allowed inside Hogwarts. Sounds to me like someone made a bit of a compromise - think about it. While Fudge isn't presented as completely corrupt yet, I would not put it past the Fudge of book five, and I think he was the Fudge of book four all along. So it fits. So it's not just - or even necessarily at all - a safety measure, but a way to keep the Dementors happy.
Flitwick and McGonagall voice their pleasure at Dumbledore not letting the Dementors in, which makes Fudge uncomfortable. He says that all the same, it's necessary because they all know what he's capable of . Rosmerta says she still can't believe it, and Fudge says she doesn't know the worst of it, because most people don't.
McGonagall asks if Rosmerta remembers who Sirius's best friend was; Rosmerta laughs. “Never saw one without the other, did you? The number of times I had them in here - ooh, they used to make me laugh. Quite the double act, Sirius Black and James Potter!”
FFP: I'll take the story from here.
Me: Oh dear.
FFP: So James and Sirius were totally BFFs at Hogwarts, and after because bros before hos, even though James did get married. Sirius was James's best man at his wedding and Harry's godfather. Then Peter came along and HE RUINED THE BEST FRIENDSHIP IN THE HISTORY OF FRIENDSHIP!
To back up and summarize in a more... mature fashion, we learn that Sirius was asked to be the Potter's Secret Keeper when they found out Voldemort was after them. Essentially being a Secret Keeper meant that only Sirius knew how to find them. Dumbledore didn't like the plan, but James insisted.
Whoa, hold up. We later learn that Sirius and Peter switched because Sirius didn't know if it was a good idea for him to be the Secret Keeper. And yet they didn't tell the one person who also didn't think it was a good idea? That one person being Dumbledore? Doesn't seem to make much sense.
Hagrid gets very emotional, and goes on about how he was the last person to see Sirius before he killed all those people, how he was white and shaking and asked to take Harry, and after much argument, Sirius gave in and also let Hagrid have his motorbike because he wouldn't need it anymore.
We're told from there that Peter cornered Sirius (later of course we learn it was the other way around); Rosmerta asks if he was the fat boy who was always tagging around them. As horrible as Peter is, it must really suck to be remembered as that. It also brings to question how much Peter was really the tagalong, and how much there was more to it. McGonagall describes him as having worshipped them, but never having really been in their league. She also regrets being so sharp with him.
Poor Peter, according to Fudge, was blown into smithereens by Sirius, along with all of the innocent bystanders. Fudge says he was on the scene, and will never forget the sight of bodies being everywhere, screaming muggles, and Peter's bloodstained robes and "a few fragments." Peter earned an Order of Merlin, and that was that.
Rosmerta asks if it's true that Sirius is mad, and Fudge says he doesn't think he is, because on his last inspection of Azkaban, he gave Sirius a newspaper because Sirius said he'd missed doing the crossword, and sounded quite normal.
Rosmerta then asks if he thinks Sirius is trying to rejoin Voldemort (of course she calls him You-Know-Who); Fudge interestingly waves away the question by saying that's his "eventual plan" (everybody - FORESHADOWING!) and that he hates to think of it.
McGonagall realizes it's almost time to dine with the headmaster, so they leave. Ron and Hermione duck under the table to look at Harry, but they're both lost for words.
Next up: No good deed goes unpunished...
Chapters 3-4
Chapters 5-6
Chapters 7-8
Chapter Nine: Grim Defeat
Everyone is evacuated to the Great Hall so that Dumbledore and company can conduct a search of the castle. The prefects are told to stand guard, and the Head Boy and Girl are in charge of the students. They’re having fifteen and sixteen year olds stand guard? That’s a really bad idea. Why wouldn’t the Dementors do it? Or better yet, other adults? I know the Order might not have been conceived of yet, maybe not even Aurors but at the very least you’d think they’d least have Ministry officials there. Maybe they’re too busy looking around Hogsmeade.
Dumbledore summons sleeping bags, which ultimately makes this the most awkward sleepover ever. The trio huddle into a corner, because they apparently even sleep away from everyone else when given the choice. Hermione’s worried that Sirius is still in the castle, and says it’s a good thing it was the one night they weren’t in the tower.
Everyone’s asking how he got in and has theories. He flew! He apparated!
Hermione’s offended because it’s obvious no one else has read Hogwarts, a History, and thus doesn’t realize these things couldn’t be possible. She says she’d love to see the disguise that could fool Dementors. You will, Hermione. You will.
Percy announces that it’s lights out, because they’re five years old. Harry apparently decides not to sleep, because he notices that once every hour teachers check to make sure that “everything was quiet.” How about check that none of them had been murdered? Hogwarts teachers need to sort out their priorities. Percy asks Dumbledore in a whisper if there’d been any sign of Sirius; there of course hasn’t, but Dumbledore has found a temporary guardian for the portrait hole. The Fat Lady is still distressed, so we won’t be hearing from her anytime soon.
Snape approaches Dumbledore, and asks if he has any idea how Sirius got in. He then reminds Dumbledore of the “conversation” they’d had at the beginning of the year, and goes on to say he thinks it’s very likely Sirius had inside help, and that he expressed his concerns over who Dumbledore had appointed. He tries to say the name, but Dumbledore cuts him off. It’s clear now, of course, that he’s implying Remus did it. Snape… think about this. Why on earth would Remus help the guy who, as far as anyone knows, killed Lily and James? Of course, Snape's probably basing this partly on the fact that he still holds a grudge, partly on the fact that he isn't the biggest supporter of werewolves.
Percy asks if the Dementors wanted to help, and Dumbledore responds that he just refused to let them in the castle. Percy looks abashed, and Snape looks resentful.
The next several days, everyone speculates wildly. Hannah Abbot's theory is that he could turn into a flowering shrub; she’s actually not so far off. Meanwhile, Sir Cadogan has replaced The Fat Lady, and challenges Gryffindors to duels. Percy tails Harry almost everywhere, something Harry has a feeling Molly ordered. Yeah, I can see that.
McGonagall has a moment of clarity, and decides to tell Harry that Sirius is after him. Harry says he already knows. McGonagall’s relieved that she doesn’t have to tell a thirteen year old that he has a murderer after him, but still tells him he shouldn’t practice Quidditch. Harry protests, so McGonagall agrees to it if Madame Hooch watches over them.
At the final training session before the game, Oliver announces angrily that they’re playing Hufflepuff, not Slytherin, because Flint claims Draco’s too poorly injured. However, it’s obvious that the real problem is the weather. Um… guys… you’re in Scotland. In November. You can’t be this new to bad weather. The problem is that they’ve practiced all the wrong moves, as they’d prepared to play against Slytherin. Their new Captain and Seeker is Cedric Diggory - hey, a character we actually meet a book before they hold significance to the plot!
Angelina, Katie and Alicia giggle because he’s attractive and “strong and silent.” Fred implies Cedric’s a creepy stalker who - oh wait, wrong book, wrong RPatz. Actually, he just implies Cedric’s too dumb to talk. Oliver continues to freak out, saying they can’t relax because Slytherin’s trying to destroy them and they MUST WIN NOW.
The day before the match, the weather still stinks and Draco’s still complaining about his arm. Okay, I’m going to say it - is this the character everyone in fandom turned into a Sex God? A truly sexy guy would play anyway, “because I can be strong” or something. Spike (who I think was pretty much the Fandom Draco prototype) would kick his ass. Just saying.
Harry makes a mad dash to DADA after Oliver holds them up, and low and behold, Snape’s teaching the class. NO. Harry stands still and asks where Remus is.
FFP: Damn straight he does.
Snape says he’s ill, but Harry refuses to budge until Snape takes five points from Gryffindor and threatens detention. As losing more House Points and facing detention with Snape is a fate worse than death, Harry finally obliges. I can only imagine how much thrill Snape got from punishing James for being friends with Remus through Harry. Which is… weird.
Snape claims Remus didn’t leave any notes about where they’d left off, so Hermione tells him they’d just finished Red Caps. Snape cuts her off and says he was just commenting on how shitty of a teacher Remus was. Dean says he’s actually the best Professor they ever had, which makes Snape angrier. Snape flips through the book and says they will be covering werewolves.
Okay, at this point I have to admit I’m not sure how so many fans didn’t pick up on it. The guy’s name is Remus LUPIN, and someone who hates him wants his students to read about werewolves right after they say how great he was. I missed it, as did much of fandom, it seems. But how?
*Ahem*
Hermione raises her hand and says they were supposed to be covering hinkypunks. I wouldn’t have dared, but I have to admire her boldness here. Snape yells at them to turn to page -
FFP: 394.
Me: It is not healthy to remember that without skipping a beat.
Snape asks how you can distinguish a werewolf from a true wolf, which pretty much debunks Hollywood werewolves off the bat. (And also, the weird Gollumwolf in the PoA movie.) Hermione raises her hand, but Snape ignores her. She finally cuts in, and Snape tells her she’s lost five points from Gryffindor for being an “insufferable know-it-all.”
Everyone glares at Snape, but Harry thinks it's really a mark of how much they hate him, because all of them have called Hermione one before. Ouch. Another anvil drops when Ron exclaims that Hermione just answered his question. Everyone gasps, and Ron gets detention. NOOOOO.
Snape spends the duration of class talking about what a dumb ol' tosser Lupin is. He doesn't even know Kappas are found in Mongolia! (I believe according to Fantastic Beasts, they're actually found in Japan or something, right?) Lupin also gave someone an 8/10 when he would've given them a 3. I... might have actually made a similar comment once when reviewing someone's English paper. In my head, but still. It's official, I'm a horrible person. :P
When the bell rings (again, I don't remember Hogwarts having bells? I always thought that was a fanfic thing), Snape tells them to write two rolls of parchment on how to recognize and kill werewolves -
FFP: I'll kill SNAPE if he says 'kill werewolves' ever again.
Me: Easy tiger...
FFP: Wolfy. Call me wolfy.
Me: ...
Ron has to stay behind, probably to hear a Why You Suck Speech, so it's Harry and Hermione who talk. I'm not sure they've actually spoken alone more than twice now.
Which brings me to an observation - at this point, Ron and Hermione appear to be closer than Harry and Hermione. Not that she isn't still his best friend, but I actually think it's later - maybe starting in the fifth book - that they really have something akin to what Ron and Harry have. But of course Ron and Hermione seem to have their own "thing" as well. It's one of the signs that they'll end up together later on.
Harry asks Hermione why she thinks Remus hates Snape. Is it because of the Boggart? Hermione isn't sure, but hopes Remus gets better soon.
Another aside, slightly belated: It really is petty of Snape to hate Remus so much, he actually asks his students to basically figure out that he's a werewolf and then write how to kill him. Let it go, Snape. Let those grudges go.
Ron joins them, angry and saying "something" that makes Hermione go "Ron!" The funny thing is that straight lace Hermione seems so... different from who she becomes later on, yet a bit closer to the movies. Hermione always had more of an edge to her than the movies portrayed, she was always bossy and sometimes not all that tactful (see the rabbit scene last post), but here she's still very much about following the rules and not saying bad words. That just isn't who she is even in the next book, and I actually think this book is where it starts, following the blow up at Trelawney that's coming in the next few chapters.
Peeves wakes Harry up at quarter after four am by blowing into his ear. Harry tries to get back to sleep, but he can't because the thunder's rumbling. He leaves the dormitory to find Crookshanks trying to sneak in; Harry pulls him out and say he thinks Ron's right that something's wrong with him, and to leave Scabbers alone. He moseys down into the common room, thinking about the upcoming Quidditch match and how because Cedric's bigger, he'll have more advantage against the wind.
Harry eats with the rest of the team in the Great Hall, and Oliver refuses to eat anything because "it's going to be a tough one." Alicia assures him that it's just a bit of rain; torrential downpour would be more accurate.
When they get to the field, everyone's watching and the Green Plastics are laughing at Harry. Oliver tries to give everyone a pep talk, but he just gulps. That's encouraging.
It isn't long before Harry is soaked, and his Nimbus is swerving slightly with the wind. He can barely see his teammates, let alone the snitch. He can't see anything, and loses track of time until Oliver calls for a time-out. We learn that the Gryffindors are fifty points up, but Harry still can't see. Hermione magically appears at Harry's shoulder and puts a water repelling charm on his glasses. So it's... all good now?
The game goes on, and Harry is happy that even though he can barely feel his fingers, he can see. Fair enough, I guess. The thunder claps again, and Harry realizes it's getting more and more dangerous. Lightning flashes, and Harry sees something that completely distracts him: - the silhouette of an enormous shaggy black dog, clearly imprinted against the sky, motionless in the topmost, empty row of seats.
FFP: SIRIUS! OH MY BOB!
Harry's hands slip, and the Nimbus drops. When Harry squints, the "dog" has vanished. Oliver yells that Cedric is behind him, about to catch the Snitch (isn't that technically cheating?), and Harry panics, rushing the broom towards him.
And then it happens: a silence fills the stadium, and Harry feels "a familiar wave of cold" come over him. He looks down to see "at least a hundred Dementors." Harry can hear someone screaming... below is what he hears next:
“Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!” “Stand aside, you silly girl . . . stand aside, now. . . .” “Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead -” Numbing, swirling white mist was filling Harry’s brain. . . . What was he doing? Why was he flying? He needed to help her. . . . She was going to die. . . . She was going to be murdered. . . . He was falling, falling through the icy mist. “Not Harry ! Please . . . have mercy . . . have mercy. . . .” A shrill voice was laughing, the woman was screaming, and Harry knew no more.
I wonder if I was the only one who thought it was the Dementors or Sirius attacking Harry and it was Hermione, when I read PoA for the very first time? Of course it made sense later on.
Harry slowly wakes up in the Hospital Wing, where the entire Quidditch Team is standing over him. Harry's body aches and it takes him a minute to remember why he's there.
Fred looks white, which is noteworthy only because the twins aren't often written as individuals, much less scared ones. He asks Harry how he's feeling and says he fell about fifty feet. And he's alive? Do wizards have super strength or something? Alicia adds that they thought he was dead. Hermione just squeaks, as she's clearly been crying.
Ever a man of honor, Harry asks about the match and if there's a rematch. We learn that Cedric got the snitch, and tried to call it off once he realized Harry had fallen. But even Oliver admitted Hufflepuff had one; he's apparently in the showers trying to drown himself.
Harry puts his face to his knees, and I'm reminded of the fact that really, he's still a kid. Poor kid. Fred shakes Harry's shoulder and tells him he's never missed the snitch before, and George agrees. But this isn't the point; the point is that he's never lost a match until now.
Pomfrey makes the team leave, but doesn't bother telling Ron or Hermione to. There must be some sort of code at that school: You do not mess with the TRIO. Hermione tells Harry that Dumbledore was furious, and that he "shot silver stuff at them (the Dementors)." We'll learn this must have been a Patronus. Harry is lost in his thoughts, however, thinking about what the screaming voice could mean. When he realizes his friends are staring at him, he casually asks what happened to the Nimbus.
Oh crap.
Ron and Hermione exchange awkward looks, and Hermione breaks the news to Harry: The Nimbus hit the Whomping Willow. Ron adds that it "doesn't like being hit." Hermione spills out wood and twig onto Harry's bed, which he realizes is what's left of his "faithful, finally beaten broomstick."
Chapter Ten: The Marauder's Map
FFP: I LOVE THE MARAUDERS!
Me: Really? I never would have guessed.
Harry lets Pomfrey keep him in the Hospital Wing for the weekend, but won't let her throw away the Nimbus's remains. He feels as though he's lost "one of his best friends." Let's not get carried away here...
He has a stream of visitors and corresponding presents, including a singing get-well card from a blushing Ginny. The card won't stop singing unless he keeps it under a fruit bowl. Where's a good chest monster when you need one? But nothing can console him, not even Ron and Hermione, because even they don't know he saw the Grim - after all, he reasons, Ron would get worried and Hermione would dismiss him. I can't argue with that. Harry can't help wondering if the Grim will haunt him until he "actually dies."
Even worse, however, is his realization of what the Dementors make him remember: His parents. The passage puts it far better than I could, so:
Because Harry knew who that screaming voice belonged to now. He had heard her words, heard them over and over again during the night hours in the hospital wing while he lay awake, staring at the strips of moonlight on the ceiling. When the dementors approached him, he heard the last moments of his mother’s life, her attempts to protect him, Harry, from Lord Voldemort, and Voldemort’s laughter before he murdered her. . . . Harry dozed fitfully, sinking into dreams full of clammy, rotted hands and petrified pleading , jerking awake to dwell again on his mother’s voice.
Good lord, poor Harry. I really want to hug him now.
Draco taunts Harry in Potions until Ron throws a Crocodile heart at him. Snape takes points off Gryffindor, and Ron says if he's teaching DADA again, he'll skip classes. Fortunately, Remus is back. He looks as though he's been ill, but he's there and that's all that matters.
Everyone instantly starts complaining about Snape and the werewolf essay. Remus frowns and asks if they'd told Snape they hadn't covered werewolves yet; the complaining continues. Remus tells them they don't have to do it, but naturally Hermione already has and is very disappointed. Oh, Hermione.
The subsequent lesson is on hinkypunks, which lure travelers into bogs with lantern-like hands. Once class is over, Remus asks Harry to stay behind. He's heard about the match, and wants to make sure Harry's okay. Harry says his Nimbus was destroyed, and Remus sighs knowingly, saying they planted the Willow "the same year I arrived." That's one way of putting it... we learn about a boy named Davey Gudgeon who nearly lost an eye trying to get to it, and I kind of wish we'd met him in one of the later books.
FFP: I have a head canon for him.
Me: Of course you do.
FFP: Sirius's ex-girlfriend marries him. She can turn into a unicorn.
Me: Again... of course.
Harry asks Remus if he heard about the Dementors. Remus of course has, and said nobody has ever seen Dumbledore that angry. I know I already said this, but I miss Magical Grandpa!Dumbledore.
Harry asks Remus why they affect him like that, and why he is so "weak." He never gets to say the "weak" part, but Remus knows exactlywhat he was going to say and quickly says that this does not make Harry "weak."
Now this is interesting. Forgetting that Remus knew James and Lily, I think he also sees Harry as being a lot like himself. While being a werewolf is quite different from being triggered by a Dementor, you still have that inability to control yourself, and the inability of others to understand that. Remus probably had a very similar conversation with an adult in his life at one point.
Remus goes on to say that the reason he's more affected is that he's faced horrors most people his age haven't. (Though I have to wonder why Ginny doesn't also faint, then? Is it that she wouldn't remember most of what happened to her, given she was literally possessed whereas Harry was fully himself, if too young to understand at the time what was happening?) Remus goes on to explain that even muggles feel (but can't see) Dementors, and that if you're too close to one, every good feeling and happy memory will be sucked out of you, and that eventually you'll just become soulless. Sweet dreams, six year olds reading this book! (This sort of thing is precisely why I never really bought that little kids read them.)
Harry tells Remus what he has not told anyone else: "When they get near me, I can hear Voldemort murdering my Mum."
This has to be horrifying enough to hear out of the mouth of a thirteen year old boy, but I can only imagine if the boy's Mum had been a friend of mine, or the spouse of my best friend. Remus makes a sudden motion as if to grip Harry's shoulder, but stops himself. I would probably have had that exact same reaction, when I think about it. (Unless the boy in question knew that I'd known his parents. But as far as Harry knows, Remus is just a teacher who he can trust.)
Harry breaks the awkward silence by asking why the Dementors came; apparently they were "hungry." Nice. Harry mentions that Azkaban must be terrible, and we learn that it's a fortress on a tiny island, but that the prisoners don't really need all that because most of them go mad anyway. Harry points out that Sirius didn't, and Remus knocks his briefcase off his desk. Huh, sounds like something Tonks would do... just saying. (Wow, I made it ten chapters without a single Remus/Tonks reference. This has to be a record.)
Remus goes on to say that "Black" (as though you weren't on first name basis with him, Moony) must have found a way to fight them. This is interesting - he says he wouldn't have believed it possible as Dementors are supposed to drain a wizard's powers. Is this how Remus sleeps at night, knowing Sirius is an animagus, by telling himself Sirius had had that drained, at least? Or does he know full well that must be how Sirius escaped, and just doesn't want to let onto that? It still bothers me that he kept this from Dumbledore when they were all fifteen year old idiots, but I digress.
Harry asks how Remus fought the Dementor, and Remus goes on to say there are defenses. Harry asks if Remus can teach him; after a lot of hesitation, Remus agrees, but only after the holidays because he's busy and "I chose a very inconvenient time to fall ill."
Life looks good again as they head towards the end of term. Two weeks prior, there is already a "buzz of Christmas in the air." Flitwick decorates his classroom with fairies, and Ron and Hermione make the decision to stay at Hogwarts with Harry. Aww, though I'm not sure my parents would've been happy about that. They find out there's going to be a Hogsmeade trip the last weekend of term. Harry borrows a book about broomsticks from Oliver for the day. Harry has, for the time being, been using a broom called a "Shooting Star." I think that about says it all.
Ron and Hermione leave, and Harry's heading back to the Gryffindor Tower when he gets called over by the twins, who are hiding behind the statue of a one-eyed witch. They have, for him, "a bit of festive cheer."
FFP: The most awesome map in, like, the world.
They lead him into a classroom and lay out a blank roll of parchment with nothing written on it. Harry naturally suspects this is yet another prank, but nope, it's the "secret to our success," which they no longer need because they have it memorized. Clearly unimpressed and a touch ungrateful, Harry asks what he needs with "a bit of parchment."
Long shared conversation short, the twins stole it from Filch's office, more specifically a cabinet marked Confiscated and Highly Dangerous. George assures Harry it's not as bad as it sounds, you just need to know how to work it. Harry is still utterly unconvinced, so George taps the map and says,
FFP: I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. It's my email password...
As soon as George says this, thin ink lines spread like a spider's web. Soon green words form, proclaiming:
Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs
Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers
are proud to present THE MARAUDER’S MAP.
(Look, this thing deserves its full exposition, okay?)
And for those of you who weren't in fandom, yes, that's where "MWPP" comes from. There was also a debate on whether or not MWPP actually called themselves Marauders or not... I'm 87% sure JK Rowling later confirmed this was the case. Anyway.
The map shows every detail of Hogwarts imaginable. A labeled dot in the top left corner showed that Professor Dumbledore was pacing his study; the caretaker’s cat, Mrs. Norris, was prowling the second floor; and Peeves the Poltergeist was currently bouncing around the trophy room. And as Harry’s eyes traveled up and down the familiar corridors, he noticed something else.
The "something else" is a set of passages that lead into Hogsmeade. There are seven, but Filch already knows about four, and one is "blocked by the Whomping Willow." Together, everybody - FORESHADOWING! The one eyed witch statue, however, is safe as it leads into Honeydukes. George goes on to say how much they owe Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. I really wish we'd seen their reactions when they figured it out.
Harry hesitates because he knows Arthur said you "shouldn't trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain", but he's pretty sure it's fine because he doesn't want to do anything wrong. In fairness, Harry, neither did Ginny. Have you really forgotten that quickly? Of course it's just as well, given that the map doesn't really think for itself so much as echo the humor of his father and godfather.
When Harry looks at the statue, and back at the map, a tiny bubble has formed saying: "Dissendium!" Sure enough, beyond it is a passageway. Harry quickly says "mischief managed!" and the map goes blank. The passage is dark and windy, but he manages. His head hits something hard, and he realizes it's a trap door. He climbs into the cellar, waits for the footsteps to pass, and stands up as soon as the man's head is otherwise occupied.
Honeydukes is filled with candy and students, so much none of them notice Harry literally popping up out of nowhere. Harry makes his way towards Ron and Hermione, who are looking at a tray of blood flavored lollipops that must be for vampires. Ron jokes that they should get Harry cockroach clusters instead. Aww, they're flirting. Kind of.
Harry says he'd definitely NOT like them, and Ron thinks Harry's learned to Apparate. Oh, Ron. Harry explains the Marauders' Map, and Hermione says Harry should hand it in to McGonagall. After all, she supposes, Sirius Black could be using one of the passages. Actually, Hermione's kind of right about that. But Ron points to a sign saying Dementors will be patrolling the streets every night, so of course Sirius couldn't break in. Also of note, the measure is "for the safety of the Hogsmeade residents." I'm sure the aforementioned Hogsmeades residents would beg to differ.
Hermione still doesn't like it, so Harry asks jokingly if she's going to report him. She responds, "oh - of course not - but honestly, Harry." God, I'd really forgotten what a goody two shoes Hermione was. I always thought that was more of a movie thing. Don't get me wrong, I would totally have had the same reaction, I think it's just so different from the Hermione we see in later books. (Although she did have concerns about the "Prince's Book", but from what I remember, it was more of an issue when the spells were actually showing Harry how to do things less benign than sneaking to Hogwarts.)
They go outside, and Harry observes that Hogsmeade looks like "a little Christmas card." the little thatched cottages and shops were all covered in a layer of crisp snow; there were holly wreaths on the doors and strings of enchanted candles hanging in the trees. Wow, I kind of want to live there now.
Ron suggests they stop to The Three Broomsticks for Butterbeer first. (Oh dear, that scene.) When they get there, he goes red at the sight of Madame Rosmerta, who is described as being "curvy" and currently hosting a rowdy bunch of "warlocks." I think this is one of the few times we hear of wizards being called warlocks. Is there any difference?
Harry thinks Butterbeer must be the most delicious thing he's ever tasted. But his merriment doesn't last long; McGonagall, Flitwick, Fudge and Hagrid enter the pub. Are they drinking buddies all of a sudden? I can buy McGonagall, Flitwick and Hagrid, it's Fudge I find... unlikely. They're so pro-Dumbledore, and Fudge clearly is not. Not to mention that Hagrid's half giant, unless Fudge is unaware of this. Maybe they've just decided to corner him under the guise of alcohol.
Instantly Ron and Hermione place their hands on Harry's head and shove him under the table. I swear he's like their child or something sometimes. Hermione magically moves the Christmas tree towards them. The Odd Crowd order drinks, which I'm sure someone in fandom has psychoanalyzed, and Fudge asks Rosmerta to join them. She asks why Fudge is in Hogsmeade; he's apparently there because of Sirius Black, after what happened at Halloween. Except that would've been... roughly eight weeks prior? Either JK Rowling really can't do math, or Fudge's reaction time sucks. Or, as usual, he's bullshitting.
Rosmerta decides to bring up the fact that the Dementors have scared away all of her customers, but Fudge says it's necessary, and points out that they're upset enough about not being allowed inside Hogwarts. Sounds to me like someone made a bit of a compromise - think about it. While Fudge isn't presented as completely corrupt yet, I would not put it past the Fudge of book five, and I think he was the Fudge of book four all along. So it fits. So it's not just - or even necessarily at all - a safety measure, but a way to keep the Dementors happy.
Flitwick and McGonagall voice their pleasure at Dumbledore not letting the Dementors in, which makes Fudge uncomfortable. He says that all the same, it's necessary because they all know what he's capable of . Rosmerta says she still can't believe it, and Fudge says she doesn't know the worst of it, because most people don't.
McGonagall asks if Rosmerta remembers who Sirius's best friend was; Rosmerta laughs. “Never saw one without the other, did you? The number of times I had them in here - ooh, they used to make me laugh. Quite the double act, Sirius Black and James Potter!”
FFP: I'll take the story from here.
Me: Oh dear.
FFP: So James and Sirius were totally BFFs at Hogwarts, and after because bros before hos, even though James did get married. Sirius was James's best man at his wedding and Harry's godfather. Then Peter came along and HE RUINED THE BEST FRIENDSHIP IN THE HISTORY OF FRIENDSHIP!
To back up and summarize in a more... mature fashion, we learn that Sirius was asked to be the Potter's Secret Keeper when they found out Voldemort was after them. Essentially being a Secret Keeper meant that only Sirius knew how to find them. Dumbledore didn't like the plan, but James insisted.
Whoa, hold up. We later learn that Sirius and Peter switched because Sirius didn't know if it was a good idea for him to be the Secret Keeper. And yet they didn't tell the one person who also didn't think it was a good idea? That one person being Dumbledore? Doesn't seem to make much sense.
Hagrid gets very emotional, and goes on about how he was the last person to see Sirius before he killed all those people, how he was white and shaking and asked to take Harry, and after much argument, Sirius gave in and also let Hagrid have his motorbike because he wouldn't need it anymore.
We're told from there that Peter cornered Sirius (later of course we learn it was the other way around); Rosmerta asks if he was the fat boy who was always tagging around them. As horrible as Peter is, it must really suck to be remembered as that. It also brings to question how much Peter was really the tagalong, and how much there was more to it. McGonagall describes him as having worshipped them, but never having really been in their league. She also regrets being so sharp with him.
Poor Peter, according to Fudge, was blown into smithereens by Sirius, along with all of the innocent bystanders. Fudge says he was on the scene, and will never forget the sight of bodies being everywhere, screaming muggles, and Peter's bloodstained robes and "a few fragments." Peter earned an Order of Merlin, and that was that.
Rosmerta asks if it's true that Sirius is mad, and Fudge says he doesn't think he is, because on his last inspection of Azkaban, he gave Sirius a newspaper because Sirius said he'd missed doing the crossword, and sounded quite normal.
Rosmerta then asks if he thinks Sirius is trying to rejoin Voldemort (of course she calls him You-Know-Who); Fudge interestingly waves away the question by saying that's his "eventual plan" (everybody - FORESHADOWING!) and that he hates to think of it.
McGonagall realizes it's almost time to dine with the headmaster, so they leave. Ron and Hermione duck under the table to look at Harry, but they're both lost for words.
Next up: No good deed goes unpunished...