Unadulterated Shipping
For those of you who aren't into the HP fandom: Zsenya, Moey and Cap'n Kathy are admins of a R/Hr site, Sugarquill.net. Heidi runs Fiction Alley, which has a lot of H/Hr shippers. I believe Heidi is a shipper herself, though I may be wrong.
Final note, before the disclaimer - this is a joke. It's not making fun of the real people mentioned (Belinda and Fayaba don't even exist, those are plays on "Galinda" and "Elphaba"), it's making fun of the shipping wars.
Shipping
Based on “What Is This Feeling?” from the musical Wicked. You can find the real lyrics here: http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/wicked/whatisthisfeeling.html
BELINDA
Dear Zsenya, Moey and Cap’n Kathy
FAYABA
Dear Heidi
BOTH (Sung)
There’s been some confusion over rooming at the summit
FAYABA
Of course, I’ll just write fanfic
BELINDA
Of course, I’ll rise above it
BOTH
For I know that’s how you’d want me to respond
Yes, there’s been some confusion for you see my roommate is…
BELINDA
Unusually and exceedingly shippy over that darn Pumpkin Pie…
FAYABA
Quiller
(Music that is made to sound like people marching)
BELINDA
What is this feeling, so sudden and new?
FAYABA
Got it the moment I laid eyes on you
BELINDA
My pulse is rushing
FAYABA
My head is reeling
BELINDA
My face is flushing
BOTH
What is this feeling?
Feels like a Weasley red flame
Does it have a name?
Yes, shipping
Unadulterated shipping
BELINDA
For your pies
FAYABA
Your boat
BELINDA
Your quipping
BOTH
Let’s just say -
I hate it all!
Every little theory, however small
Makes my very fic begin to fall
Due to simple shipping
BELINDA
There’s an anti-Ron obsession
FAYABA
A miserable infestation
And we don’t all hate Ron!
BOTH
Though I do admit this came on fast
Still I do believe that it can last
And I will be shipping, shipping against you
My whole life long
R/HRS
Oh, Belinda you are just too good
How can you stand it, I don’t think I could
She’s a terror, she’s a traitor
We don’t mean to show a bias
But we bet she’s a Ron hater
BELINDA
Well, these things are sent to try us!
H/HRS
Poor Fayaba, forced to reside
With a shipper so disgustified
We want you to know
We’re all on the same side!
We share your
BELINDA
There’s a strange anti-Ron obsession
SHIPPERS
Shipping!
FAYABA
A miserable infestation!
SHIPPERS
Shipping!
FAYABA
And we don’t hate Ron!
SHIPPERS
That Ron!
BELINDA & FAYABA
Though I do admit this came on fast
Still I do believe that it can last
And I will be shipping, shipping against you
My whole life long