With a smile and a sigh...
So you know how sometimes there's movies for teenagers - sometimes in the theater, sometimes in middle/high school Home Ec and Health classes - that have a Very Deep Message, and while the intentions may be good, the execution is as cheesy and unrealistic as all hell?
I've written a parody trailer.
Habits
Two teenagers, a girl (BETHIE) and a boy (MAX), are walking down the hallway. Bethie is a cheerleader with a lot of make up on and very long, poofy blonde hair. Max is a football player.
Max puts his hand to his mouth, and starts biting his nails.
Bethie: Ew, that’s like, so gross!
Max: Keeps biting his nails.
Bethie: … baby?
Max: Grunts, then continues biting his nails.
Bethie: Puts her hand on Max’s arm and pulls it away. Baby, STOP!
Max: I have a problem, Bethie.
Bethie looks sad.
Marvelously Moving Message Movies Presents…
A teacher is standing by a chalkboard, addressing his class. The scene skips back and forth between the teacher talking and our characters doing various BAD THINGS.
Teacher: When one is at the peak of their adolescence, things begin to change.
Max at his locker, talking to Sam.
Max: I can’t stop biting my nails. If I stop, I start shaking, I feel my pulse beating…
Polly is on her bed, talking on the phone.
Polly: So like, I’ve decided to start collecting troll dolls! The 90’s are so back.
Teacher: Sometimes for the better…
Bethie is cheering in the cafeteria.
Bethie: Two-four-six-eight! You all know who’s really great?
A girl (MARY) passes.
Teacher: And sometimes, for the worse.
Bethie: Not her! You know why?
Mary freezes, her eyes wide.
Bethie: She doesn’t like banana smoothies!
The entire cafeteria bursts into laughter; Mary crumples to the ground, sobbing.
Teacher: You may suddenly find yourself spending too much time fixating on one thing…
Polly is counting her troll dolls, who now surround her bedroom.
Polly: Still… not… enough…
Teacher: Being nastier than ever…
Bethie walks down the hallway with Stacey and Polly, and passes Mary.
Bethie: Hi Banana head!
Polly: Bethie, don’t.
Mary looks at her feet.
Bethie: What's wrong? Bananas in your ears?
Mary: You’re so mean!
A coming of age tale every teenager must see!
Polly: Being carried away from her room by Max and Bethie, hands flailing. NOOO! I MUST FEED THE TROLLS!
A story of teenagers on the brink…
Sam, Polly, Bethie and Max are in the hallway.
Polly: If you don’t stop being mean to Mary, we can’t be friends anymore.
Bethie: If you don’t stop collecting those dumb trolls, we can’t be friends anymore. And Max? Max?
Max: Staring into space, still biting his nails.
Sam: You’re all idiots.
Horrible habits that will not go away…
Mary: Stands up in the classroom and glares at Bethie, who is sitting behind her. I think BETHIE is MEAN!
Everyone gasps.
And a friendship on the brink of destruction.
Cut back to Sam, Polly, Max and Bethie in the hallway,now yelling at one another.
Bethie: TROLLS!
Max: MEAN!
Polly: NAILS!
Sam: MORTALS!
Everyone stops and stares.
Sam: … what?
Habits: Coming out April 1st, 2010.
(Let me know if this doesn't cut right.)
I've written a parody trailer.
Habits
Two teenagers, a girl (BETHIE) and a boy (MAX), are walking down the hallway. Bethie is a cheerleader with a lot of make up on and very long, poofy blonde hair. Max is a football player.
Max puts his hand to his mouth, and starts biting his nails.
Bethie: Ew, that’s like, so gross!
Max: Keeps biting his nails.
Bethie: … baby?
Max: Grunts, then continues biting his nails.
Bethie: Puts her hand on Max’s arm and pulls it away. Baby, STOP!
Max: I have a problem, Bethie.
Bethie looks sad.
Marvelously Moving Message Movies Presents…
A teacher is standing by a chalkboard, addressing his class. The scene skips back and forth between the teacher talking and our characters doing various BAD THINGS.
Teacher: When one is at the peak of their adolescence, things begin to change.
Max at his locker, talking to Sam.
Max: I can’t stop biting my nails. If I stop, I start shaking, I feel my pulse beating…
Polly is on her bed, talking on the phone.
Polly: So like, I’ve decided to start collecting troll dolls! The 90’s are so back.
Teacher: Sometimes for the better…
Bethie is cheering in the cafeteria.
Bethie: Two-four-six-eight! You all know who’s really great?
A girl (MARY) passes.
Teacher: And sometimes, for the worse.
Bethie: Not her! You know why?
Mary freezes, her eyes wide.
Bethie: She doesn’t like banana smoothies!
The entire cafeteria bursts into laughter; Mary crumples to the ground, sobbing.
Teacher: You may suddenly find yourself spending too much time fixating on one thing…
Polly is counting her troll dolls, who now surround her bedroom.
Polly: Still… not… enough…
Teacher: Being nastier than ever…
Bethie walks down the hallway with Stacey and Polly, and passes Mary.
Bethie: Hi Banana head!
Polly: Bethie, don’t.
Mary looks at her feet.
Bethie: What's wrong? Bananas in your ears?
Mary: You’re so mean!
A coming of age tale every teenager must see!
Polly: Being carried away from her room by Max and Bethie, hands flailing. NOOO! I MUST FEED THE TROLLS!
A story of teenagers on the brink…
Sam, Polly, Bethie and Max are in the hallway.
Polly: If you don’t stop being mean to Mary, we can’t be friends anymore.
Bethie: If you don’t stop collecting those dumb trolls, we can’t be friends anymore. And Max? Max?
Max: Staring into space, still biting his nails.
Sam: You’re all idiots.
Horrible habits that will not go away…
Mary: Stands up in the classroom and glares at Bethie, who is sitting behind her. I think BETHIE is MEAN!
Everyone gasps.
And a friendship on the brink of destruction.
Cut back to Sam, Polly, Max and Bethie in the hallway,now yelling at one another.
Bethie: TROLLS!
Max: MEAN!
Polly: NAILS!
Sam: MORTALS!
Everyone stops and stares.
Sam: … what?
Habits: Coming out April 1st, 2010.
(Let me know if this doesn't cut right.)