Who Gives a Ship?

[author_by_night]

This is a song about how I don't care about shipping. The tune is similar to "I Can Hear the Bells" from Hairspray.


I am a fan of so many things
You'll never find me not fangirlin'
And I have a decent amount of pairs
That get me all a-twirlin'

Some are sexy hot
Others cute and sweet
Some are filled with subtext
Behind the lines, just read

But at the end of the day
I don't really care
Who has sex with whom
Or puts a flower in their hair

Who gives a ship?
No, really, who?
Who gives a ship?
There's so much more to do

We fell in love
Because we loved the plot
I don't really care
Which one is more hot

I want to discuss
That major plot hole
Really analyze
Each character's role

Who gives a ship?
There's so much to explore
Who gives a ship?
And no, she's not a whore

(Seriously, can we stop slut shaming female characters who have the audacity to breathe air?)

I love my ships
Oh yes, I do
I just don't get
All this ballyhoo

Maybe they end up
Hand in hand
Maybe it was just a senseless
One night stand

Life's not about
Going down the aisle
Or wishing dead characters back
It's not a river called the Nile

Who gives a ship?
Frankly, not me
Although I'll gladly defend
My one OTP