(no subject)

[austriansaddie]

Ever look back and think...oh Lord, what I wouldn't give to be back in that moment again?

I've been looking back lately, not in that oh I'm unhappy here so I'll pretend to be there way, but in that think of that moment and smile way.

I look back and see silly moments, happy moments, scary moments, horribly sad moments, and breathtaking everlasting moments.

I've been looking back and just thanking the Lord for taking me there...and out of there...

I remember lying on the floor crying

I remember sleeping in the arms of the one I love

I remember hitting my knees and yelling out to the Lord

I remember spreading my arms wide and joyfully praising His majesty

I remember trying to carry both of my sisters and walk at the same time

I remember fluffing my sister's wedding dress

I remember praying through my brother's wedding

I remember sitting in the sand with my best friends and just staring at the sun

I remember staying up all night just laughing

I remember awkward silences and uncomfortably shifting in my seat waiting to hear what I didn't want to hear

I remember experiencing the first death of a family member

I remember being on stage and back stage

I remember silent nights in the upper chapel and starlit walks

I remember making snow angels and having snow ball fights

I remember just being me...

I am still me. In fact, I am more me. I am also less me. I have lost so much of the me that I thought I was. I have lost so many of the ones I love. I have grown so much into who I never thought I'd be. I have learned to be me,  I am still learning to be me always. I forget sometimes and I hide me. I reachout sometimes and lose part of me. Yet, I remain me, only me and nothing more.

Thank you for helping me to become me. Thank you for being you...if only you knew...