Ode to my Puddy
You were with me for so long
All the way from that bulge in your nesting mama’s womb
To the elderly cat gently walking to the food bowl
I wasn’t planning on taking on yet another cat at the time
But you needed a place that gave you attention
And let you interact with other cats
Who didn’t hate you
And that I had
A whole household of friendly cats
So I brought you home with me
Just to wean you, I thought
And let you learn what it was to be a cat
Thomas took you on right away
As I thought he might
And set about teaching you the ways
You were so tiny
From eating substitute kitten milk from day 11
When you came out from your hiding place
The day after your mama had died
I thought Samhain was an odd name to give a cat
But K was right…by all rights, you should have been dead
Certainly would have been if her cat had gotten to your cardboard box
At my house, you kept finding hidey holes
And we were so afraid to walk around or sit on anything
For fear of you being there
Because you were so very tiny
A shock of orange fluff behind a black couch cushion
When L and I split, it was obvious that you and Thomas should come with me
Along with the name L gave you that stuck
You and he moved around with me
From town to town
And partner to partner
You, with your big Puddy eyes and no Puddy chin
You became so persnickety after you were fixed
For which I apologized dozens of times
And Thomas was so overwhelming to
Your delicate Puddy nature
That loved little more than lying about
And looking decorative
Or having your ears rubbed
Or having your little chin scritched
Or launching the sneak attacks
That let you get the rare upper hand on Thomas
But it was outside where you really came alive
Climbing trees…that’s one of the ways I remember you best
It was always the thrill of your day
To run full-tilt at a tree as fast as you could
And shred a bunch of bark
To get a good view of everything around
Or in your later years, to make it up a few feet
And then hold on there and look at me
Like you’d brought me a 30’ woody present
Still kicking and ready for dinner
One of the things that always made my heart happy
Was to see you come to me when I called
Prancing through grass with your fluffy tail
High in the air
You didn’t always come when I called, of course
But it was such a happy sight when you did
That shock of red-orange fluff against the green grass
Tail up like a flag
More often than not, it was after a successful episode
Of Puddy, The Fierce Jungle Cat
Which tale I could see unspooling in your mind
As you crouched in the grass
All Puddy eyes and no Puddy chin
Things weren’t always smooth between us
The flea baths and how you fought
That limber back foot coming up and over my hand
To shred it the way you did treebark
The way you’d go next to the catbox
If it wasn’t up to your very exacting snuff
The way I would always worry
When you’d take off for a few days after we moved
Always came back, though
Except the time we moved to Arizona
And I had you inside a school bus for a month
Because I couldn’t afford a better place
And it wasn’t safe to be outside in the desert
You, who absolutely had to at least have the illusion
That you could go outside anytime you wanted
To really be happy
I’m sorry about that
I was most sorry when, 2 weeks after you folded spacetime to get out
Someone responded to my ad to say they’d been feeding you
And how when I saw you, you ran away
Not all the way
Just enough to where I couldn’t take you
Back to the small space
You were so very happy to see me
Yet terrified of being inside again
That broke my heart
It worked out - the woman helped me catch you
And you only had to scream and fight for a few minutes
Until I got you to the new house
But I vowed to never trap you inside again
You were always very particular about when
You wanted to be directly adored
Never a lap cat
Unless there was a storm and you needed assuring
Or if we were in the car and my lap
Became the very best perching place
Front legs draped over my steering arm
Big Puddy eyes taking in all the scenery
Otherwise you had a certain amount of petting you wanted
Before you were all done
And back to a window you’d go
To assure yourself that, should you wish
You could go outside anytime you wanted
And in the meantime, you arranged yourself
To catch the light just so
You knew you looked best that way
But when you were loving, there was no question
Feet licks if you liked someone
Drool if you loved someone
The volume of cat spit was a very reliable barometer
For how you were feeling
You had the most amazing hiding abilities
If you didn’t want to be found, you simply could not be found
To my constant consternation
And many a catsitter’s worry
Must have kept a pocket dimension handy
It was so sad to see you age
To see you lose the ability to climb over fences
Though it meant I didn’t have to worry about you being lost ever again
To see how it pained you to climb trees more than a couple of feet
To see how that old injury
From the time you ran away from deer
Made even walking require your attention
And hiding took more effort than you usually cared to take
It was so sad to see how you didn’t want to go
And I tried my best
Lots of visits to the vet
Lots of medication
Lots of attention
Looking for that right combination that would make you feel like yourself again
Like that prancing, drooling, tree-climbing, persnickity, decorative fluffy cat
With the silent meows that won over everyone’s heart
You’d always been
But in the end, there was nothing more I could do for you
I wish I could have
But you let me know it was OK when it was over
That you loved me
And that I did the right thing
A week later, I got a sympathy card from your vet
Signed by everyone in the office
They all had something special to share about you
But the one that really stands out was from the vet herself
Who, in the middle of her addition, called you a she
And that made me laugh in the middle of my tears
Because one thing I had nearly forgotten
Was how everyone, *everyone* who ever knew you
Except for L, and maybe Bonnie
Called you a she
And most of them repeatedly, even after I corrected them
There was something about your beauty that made everyone else
Swear you were a girl
And it’s precisely that same sort of sneaky
Subtle sense of humor you had that showed up in that card
Did you put that idea in Dr P’s head?
I wouldn’t put it past you at all
Thomas was my familiar, but you were my fluffy
My pumpkin, my cottondrawers
With the big Puddy eyes and no Puddy chin
Thank you so much for being a part of my life
It hasn’t really been home without you here
But I know how things change
And I still feel how you’ve touched me
All the way from that bulge in your nesting mama’s womb
To the elderly cat gently walking to the food bowl
I wasn’t planning on taking on yet another cat at the time
But you needed a place that gave you attention
And let you interact with other cats
Who didn’t hate you
And that I had
A whole household of friendly cats
So I brought you home with me
Just to wean you, I thought
And let you learn what it was to be a cat
Thomas took you on right away
As I thought he might
And set about teaching you the ways
You were so tiny
From eating substitute kitten milk from day 11
When you came out from your hiding place
The day after your mama had died
I thought Samhain was an odd name to give a cat
But K was right…by all rights, you should have been dead
Certainly would have been if her cat had gotten to your cardboard box
At my house, you kept finding hidey holes
And we were so afraid to walk around or sit on anything
For fear of you being there
Because you were so very tiny
A shock of orange fluff behind a black couch cushion
When L and I split, it was obvious that you and Thomas should come with me
Along with the name L gave you that stuck
You and he moved around with me
From town to town
And partner to partner
You, with your big Puddy eyes and no Puddy chin
You became so persnickety after you were fixed
For which I apologized dozens of times
And Thomas was so overwhelming to
Your delicate Puddy nature
That loved little more than lying about
And looking decorative
Or having your ears rubbed
Or having your little chin scritched
Or launching the sneak attacks
That let you get the rare upper hand on Thomas
But it was outside where you really came alive
Climbing trees…that’s one of the ways I remember you best
It was always the thrill of your day
To run full-tilt at a tree as fast as you could
And shred a bunch of bark
To get a good view of everything around
Or in your later years, to make it up a few feet
And then hold on there and look at me
Like you’d brought me a 30’ woody present
Still kicking and ready for dinner
One of the things that always made my heart happy
Was to see you come to me when I called
Prancing through grass with your fluffy tail
High in the air
You didn’t always come when I called, of course
But it was such a happy sight when you did
That shock of red-orange fluff against the green grass
Tail up like a flag
More often than not, it was after a successful episode
Of Puddy, The Fierce Jungle Cat
Which tale I could see unspooling in your mind
As you crouched in the grass
All Puddy eyes and no Puddy chin
Things weren’t always smooth between us
The flea baths and how you fought
That limber back foot coming up and over my hand
To shred it the way you did treebark
The way you’d go next to the catbox
If it wasn’t up to your very exacting snuff
The way I would always worry
When you’d take off for a few days after we moved
Always came back, though
Except the time we moved to Arizona
And I had you inside a school bus for a month
Because I couldn’t afford a better place
And it wasn’t safe to be outside in the desert
You, who absolutely had to at least have the illusion
That you could go outside anytime you wanted
To really be happy
I’m sorry about that
I was most sorry when, 2 weeks after you folded spacetime to get out
Someone responded to my ad to say they’d been feeding you
And how when I saw you, you ran away
Not all the way
Just enough to where I couldn’t take you
Back to the small space
You were so very happy to see me
Yet terrified of being inside again
That broke my heart
It worked out - the woman helped me catch you
And you only had to scream and fight for a few minutes
Until I got you to the new house
But I vowed to never trap you inside again
You were always very particular about when
You wanted to be directly adored
Never a lap cat
Unless there was a storm and you needed assuring
Or if we were in the car and my lap
Became the very best perching place
Front legs draped over my steering arm
Big Puddy eyes taking in all the scenery
Otherwise you had a certain amount of petting you wanted
Before you were all done
And back to a window you’d go
To assure yourself that, should you wish
You could go outside anytime you wanted
And in the meantime, you arranged yourself
To catch the light just so
You knew you looked best that way
But when you were loving, there was no question
Feet licks if you liked someone
Drool if you loved someone
The volume of cat spit was a very reliable barometer
For how you were feeling
You had the most amazing hiding abilities
If you didn’t want to be found, you simply could not be found
To my constant consternation
And many a catsitter’s worry
Must have kept a pocket dimension handy
It was so sad to see you age
To see you lose the ability to climb over fences
Though it meant I didn’t have to worry about you being lost ever again
To see how it pained you to climb trees more than a couple of feet
To see how that old injury
From the time you ran away from deer
Made even walking require your attention
And hiding took more effort than you usually cared to take
It was so sad to see how you didn’t want to go
And I tried my best
Lots of visits to the vet
Lots of medication
Lots of attention
Looking for that right combination that would make you feel like yourself again
Like that prancing, drooling, tree-climbing, persnickity, decorative fluffy cat
With the silent meows that won over everyone’s heart
You’d always been
But in the end, there was nothing more I could do for you
I wish I could have
But you let me know it was OK when it was over
That you loved me
And that I did the right thing
A week later, I got a sympathy card from your vet
Signed by everyone in the office
They all had something special to share about you
But the one that really stands out was from the vet herself
Who, in the middle of her addition, called you a she
And that made me laugh in the middle of my tears
Because one thing I had nearly forgotten
Was how everyone, *everyone* who ever knew you
Except for L, and maybe Bonnie
Called you a she
And most of them repeatedly, even after I corrected them
There was something about your beauty that made everyone else
Swear you were a girl
And it’s precisely that same sort of sneaky
Subtle sense of humor you had that showed up in that card
Did you put that idea in Dr P’s head?
I wouldn’t put it past you at all
Thomas was my familiar, but you were my fluffy
My pumpkin, my cottondrawers
With the big Puddy eyes and no Puddy chin
Thank you so much for being a part of my life
It hasn’t really been home without you here
But I know how things change
And I still feel how you’ve touched me