(no subject)
in another one of those moods again.. the kind where you're semi depressed about things and you just don't know what to think or to feel.. mostly about relationship issues. i feel stupid writing about this, like i have nothing better to do or say, but i guess it's not bad to be pathetic every once in a while. i've finally realized that i am as closed off as people tell me sometimes, or that i can be sketchy. i have issues with letting people in, i guess, but i'm not sure why. maybe i should just try to make a conscientious effort to open up in relationships. idk. and i also feel like a dumbass for making stupid choices with past relationships. when i look back on my stupidity, it's embarassing how dumb i could be and that i let certain people go too soon. but i think part of that can be blamed on immaturity and part of growing up. and i accept that.
i was talking about stuff with alex earlier, about choices that lie ahead concerning college and such, and that makes me more depressed that we're already juniors in high school talking about careers and all. next year is senior year.. already. but on the other hand, i'm ready to just experience all of it and be there.
but for now, i'll just let things play out as they will. i know it's all in good planning and that whatever happens i'm sure i'll be happy. that's really all we can do anyway.
i was talking about stuff with alex earlier, about choices that lie ahead concerning college and such, and that makes me more depressed that we're already juniors in high school talking about careers and all. next year is senior year.. already. but on the other hand, i'm ready to just experience all of it and be there.
but for now, i'll just let things play out as they will. i know it's all in good planning and that whatever happens i'm sure i'll be happy. that's really all we can do anyway.