bring it!

Sep 01, 2008 11:04


Wow, I haven't written in 6 weeks it says.
lets see...whats new, you ask?
I'm a seniour in high school now. Last year to work my grades up. Last year to make my impression on the teachers, the kids. Last year to decide what I want to do with my life (not exactly).
megan and my father got a divorce. Like no one saw that one coming. Okay, so maybe thats slightly rude, but come on. She deserves way better anyway.
the most important thing to me, is that I'm in love. Dayna Marie is the lucky girl (haha).
everyday all day, i think of her. I imagine her going to college, working hard, and then coming home to me, greeting me with a kiss and asking me whats for dinner. I imagine going to car washes and pumping gas and going grocery shopping and petting cats. I imagine holding her, touching her, feeling her breathe.
I'm not sure if this is the final plan, but so far it is:
after graduating high school here, i plan to move to michigan to attend community college to get in state residency and then move to a Uni to get my bach degree. Not sure in what yet, but i think thats whats goin' on. ill be living with my mother, and seeing dayna on the weekends when shes not busy with parties (and me too...haha).
things have been hard lately because...its not that I dont trust her...its just...i dont know. I know what its like to be bored and lonely and want someone. I've done it. I've taken advantage of the fact that someone wants me purely because i was lonely. even when I had someone else somewhere. its horrible, i know. but I know its possible. especially with all those drunk and hot girls (haha, kanye west, baby!).
i miss her...i miss you baby! i always do.
im starting to get restless with this place. i want to leave, damnit! i want to share a small apartment with two other people and go to the laundry mat and live close to my lover, and see my mum and sis everyday. i want to wake up and know for sure that theyre going to be in the living room watching the telly because theres nothing else to do. I want to go to festivals and parties. i want to hold my darling.
i want i want i want. i know, i sound like a little brat. but I can't help it. I'm just sick of everything. im sick of not being there for dayna and my mom and my sister. i'm sick of living here, with all these hicks. i'm sick of not having best friends here and being bored all the time.
at least in michigan I have the option of going somewhere if I want. If i want to go somewhere here, I have to drive to nashville. fuck this small town. i want flea markets and little cafes and happiness.
i know, i know, it wont be all awesome all the time. im just...ready for change!
BRING ITTTTTTT
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