this is the end, my only friend, the end
i talked to Dayna this morning till 'round 2 something, I think.
I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I feel so lonely now because she's going camping with Allison and her sister/sisters friends.
why does it feel like i'm in michigan, in Linden even, and she's leaving me?
This is such a weird feeling.
anyway, I miss her. already. haha. it's...11.50 in the morn, which means it's 12.50 there, and they're already driving there I pressume.
Work was terrible the other night, i whined until they let me go home. then I got nagged by megan about how much "stronger" i need to be. haha, OK.
But last night wasn't as bad. my mouth is getting better. only diff was that i stayed till close, which is always a hassle because we have to scrub and sweep and mop and and wash and catch up and stock EVERYTHING for third shift so that they don't have to for the morning.
And my friend Avery was there, which was the first time I've worked with him. He was a little frustrating at first because he wasn't serving off his orders, thus making me get them, thus making me look stupid with two double cheeseburgers and a small fry in my hand, standing around saying "where does this go??".
and it's funny because I realise how much that fucking bothers me now, and i remember when I was new, I did they same thing. the EXACT same thing. i stood around and waited for someone to get it for me. but the advantage of having a job, besides the money part is that you grow up! you learn that no one's really got your back (only sometimes) so you gotta do everything for yourself. Avery will soon learn this. At least, I hope.
I got the most amazing things in the mail yesterday! I was just about to leave for work. had my backpack on, my opid blarin' Lowrider and I was on my bike when I realised that I hadn't gotten the mail in a couple days. so I went...and WOWW I got a package!! to me, thats like....the best feeling in the world!! i LOVE it!! it was from dayna, of course and i was so excited, I couldn't even wait to come home to open it. i decided that if I was late because I was opening it, too damn bad mcnastys.
turns out she mailed me a tshirt, some films, some letters, and my most favourite book in the entire world, "Stone Butch Blues"!! I was SOOOO happy! I ran upstairs and put her tshirt on, which made me black and red which is funny because those are the colours of the mcnastys outfits, and headed off to work! I wasnt even late! not even close!
For all of you (what, two?) that don't know what "Stone Butch Blues" is about, it's about a woman (I actually don't know if the writer, Leslie, is still a woman or not [cool how we can say that!!!]) who is butch in the olden times, when it was still illegal even for two women to dance together. She has many partners and is beaten by the police, even brutally raped in front of everyone. she learns the hardships of being a butch woman in a masculine world, where lesbians are barely accepted, let alone butch lesbians. Her life is inexplicitley horrid and terrifying. At least, I thought so. This book made me cry. The whole point is that she has gone through all of these horrible things and she has loved so much, and been hurt so much, that she starts turning into a stone butch. where her walls are inpassable and hardly no one can break them down. its about the wonderful women who could break them down, and the things she's learned and done as a butch lesbian.
it's made me laugh, cry, and get angry. I really never thought that a book could ever make me do that, so when this book did, I knew that it was my favourite. Anyway, thanks Dayna. Now I hope you understand how happy I am with you and this book! When I got this package, I literally said out loud [[really]] "Why are you so good to me????" I feel horrible!! I tried to send Dayna something a week or so ago, but it got sent back to my house and megan said it would be easier to just give it to her in person. yeh, except its really lame...haha.
anyway, i'm hot. and i have oodles of hours of telly to watch on the DVR.
ciao for now.
I hope she doesn't wake up over the bridge.
I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I feel so lonely now because she's going camping with Allison and her sister/sisters friends.
why does it feel like i'm in michigan, in Linden even, and she's leaving me?
This is such a weird feeling.
anyway, I miss her. already. haha. it's...11.50 in the morn, which means it's 12.50 there, and they're already driving there I pressume.
Work was terrible the other night, i whined until they let me go home. then I got nagged by megan about how much "stronger" i need to be. haha, OK.
But last night wasn't as bad. my mouth is getting better. only diff was that i stayed till close, which is always a hassle because we have to scrub and sweep and mop and and wash and catch up and stock EVERYTHING for third shift so that they don't have to for the morning.
And my friend Avery was there, which was the first time I've worked with him. He was a little frustrating at first because he wasn't serving off his orders, thus making me get them, thus making me look stupid with two double cheeseburgers and a small fry in my hand, standing around saying "where does this go??".
and it's funny because I realise how much that fucking bothers me now, and i remember when I was new, I did they same thing. the EXACT same thing. i stood around and waited for someone to get it for me. but the advantage of having a job, besides the money part is that you grow up! you learn that no one's really got your back (only sometimes) so you gotta do everything for yourself. Avery will soon learn this. At least, I hope.
I got the most amazing things in the mail yesterday! I was just about to leave for work. had my backpack on, my opid blarin' Lowrider and I was on my bike when I realised that I hadn't gotten the mail in a couple days. so I went...and WOWW I got a package!! to me, thats like....the best feeling in the world!! i LOVE it!! it was from dayna, of course and i was so excited, I couldn't even wait to come home to open it. i decided that if I was late because I was opening it, too damn bad mcnastys.
turns out she mailed me a tshirt, some films, some letters, and my most favourite book in the entire world, "Stone Butch Blues"!! I was SOOOO happy! I ran upstairs and put her tshirt on, which made me black and red which is funny because those are the colours of the mcnastys outfits, and headed off to work! I wasnt even late! not even close!
For all of you (what, two?) that don't know what "Stone Butch Blues" is about, it's about a woman (I actually don't know if the writer, Leslie, is still a woman or not [cool how we can say that!!!]) who is butch in the olden times, when it was still illegal even for two women to dance together. She has many partners and is beaten by the police, even brutally raped in front of everyone. she learns the hardships of being a butch woman in a masculine world, where lesbians are barely accepted, let alone butch lesbians. Her life is inexplicitley horrid and terrifying. At least, I thought so. This book made me cry. The whole point is that she has gone through all of these horrible things and she has loved so much, and been hurt so much, that she starts turning into a stone butch. where her walls are inpassable and hardly no one can break them down. its about the wonderful women who could break them down, and the things she's learned and done as a butch lesbian.
it's made me laugh, cry, and get angry. I really never thought that a book could ever make me do that, so when this book did, I knew that it was my favourite. Anyway, thanks Dayna. Now I hope you understand how happy I am with you and this book! When I got this package, I literally said out loud [[really]] "Why are you so good to me????" I feel horrible!! I tried to send Dayna something a week or so ago, but it got sent back to my house and megan said it would be easier to just give it to her in person. yeh, except its really lame...haha.
anyway, i'm hot. and i have oodles of hours of telly to watch on the DVR.
ciao for now.
I hope she doesn't wake up over the bridge.