(no subject)
It has been a while since I have sat down and let out everything on my mind. I think I just need to let everything out (regardless of whether anyone will actually read this or not) to try to maintain some form of sanity inside my head. It has been a very long time, probably years, since I have sat down with anyone and truly talked about what I was feeling.
WORK:
Work has become a chore - there is no fulfilment in working where I work. It puts money into my bank account so that I can live, but it becomes more and more soul-crushing as the years progress. I have worked there for three and a half years. If I stay there until the end of my degree, because there is some sense of job security in my menial permanent part-time job, I will have worked there for five years- five years of going nowhere in such a meaningless and repetitive industry (anyone who builds a so-called 'career' out of working at a laser tag facility has, in my opinion, resigned themselves to going nowhere in life). Our new site manager, in particular, is what is making it difficult to drag myself to work. He has such a grating personality that I dread any shift in which I have to interact with him. For instance, I have been sick the last week (which basically ruined the last half of my annual leave trip away) and called in sick tonight and for my shift tomorrow. The text conversation went as follows:
ME: (long text about being sick and needing to cover my shifts, etc...)
HIM - Can you get a dr cert please. And I am replacing the shift for you now
ME: My doctor may take a day or two to get an appointment, by when do you need the certificate?
HIM: Any GP will issue one
ME: But most cost money, whereas my one won't cost me anything since it is via uni. By when do you need the certificate?
HIM: In our agreements and I have to ask all of us if its more than 1 day or after a weekend. Brett asked me to maintain the standard with every one.
ME: I know this. I was merely asking when you need the certificate by, I was not arguing about getting one.
HIM: Ok this week
ME: Thank you for answering my question.
He was in no way listening (well as much as you can 'listen' via a text conversation) to what I was asking; it took me asking him THREE times before he answered my question. This is a (in some ways trivial) example of his personality. His version of a conversation with staff is to inactively listen. He acts as if he is taking in what you are saying, but really he is just waiting for his turn to speak; he does not hear what you say and instead just wants to convey his message. This case in point - I merely wanted to know by when did he need my doctor's certificate. Instead he was rambling on about how it was his duty to follow up sick leave as opposed to 'hearing' my question and answering it. I thought I was being rather straightforward, 'by when do you need the certificate?', but apparently that wasn't clear enough.
And if I have to listen to one more of his repetitive and boring stories about him being a scout leader or about how he brews his own beer or about how his car still isn't working I swear I will jump off of the a bridge.
Each day it gets harder and harder to go there. Staff are on amicable terms with each other, sure, but with the exception of Amelia (with whom I have been friends years before us working together) the relationship between staff is purely within a work context - we're all friends, but not to the point of wanting to go grab a coffee together and just hang out. There is no motivation to go to work aside from needing to pay rent and buy food.
TO BE CONTINUED...[I need to get some sleep, so I'll continue this when I wake up]
WORK:
Work has become a chore - there is no fulfilment in working where I work. It puts money into my bank account so that I can live, but it becomes more and more soul-crushing as the years progress. I have worked there for three and a half years. If I stay there until the end of my degree, because there is some sense of job security in my menial permanent part-time job, I will have worked there for five years- five years of going nowhere in such a meaningless and repetitive industry (anyone who builds a so-called 'career' out of working at a laser tag facility has, in my opinion, resigned themselves to going nowhere in life). Our new site manager, in particular, is what is making it difficult to drag myself to work. He has such a grating personality that I dread any shift in which I have to interact with him. For instance, I have been sick the last week (which basically ruined the last half of my annual leave trip away) and called in sick tonight and for my shift tomorrow. The text conversation went as follows:
ME: (long text about being sick and needing to cover my shifts, etc...)
HIM - Can you get a dr cert please. And I am replacing the shift for you now
ME: My doctor may take a day or two to get an appointment, by when do you need the certificate?
HIM: Any GP will issue one
ME: But most cost money, whereas my one won't cost me anything since it is via uni. By when do you need the certificate?
HIM: In our agreements and I have to ask all of us if its more than 1 day or after a weekend. Brett asked me to maintain the standard with every one.
ME: I know this. I was merely asking when you need the certificate by, I was not arguing about getting one.
HIM: Ok this week
ME: Thank you for answering my question.
He was in no way listening (well as much as you can 'listen' via a text conversation) to what I was asking; it took me asking him THREE times before he answered my question. This is a (in some ways trivial) example of his personality. His version of a conversation with staff is to inactively listen. He acts as if he is taking in what you are saying, but really he is just waiting for his turn to speak; he does not hear what you say and instead just wants to convey his message. This case in point - I merely wanted to know by when did he need my doctor's certificate. Instead he was rambling on about how it was his duty to follow up sick leave as opposed to 'hearing' my question and answering it. I thought I was being rather straightforward, 'by when do you need the certificate?', but apparently that wasn't clear enough.
And if I have to listen to one more of his repetitive and boring stories about him being a scout leader or about how he brews his own beer or about how his car still isn't working I swear I will jump off of the a bridge.
Each day it gets harder and harder to go there. Staff are on amicable terms with each other, sure, but with the exception of Amelia (with whom I have been friends years before us working together) the relationship between staff is purely within a work context - we're all friends, but not to the point of wanting to go grab a coffee together and just hang out. There is no motivation to go to work aside from needing to pay rent and buy food.
TO BE CONTINUED...[I need to get some sleep, so I'll continue this when I wake up]