You're Wasting Your Time.
People have their own lives to live, why is it that I constantly need their attention; to know the fact that they care?
The amount of hours I spend waiting to hear back from them (yes, hours) is pathetic; I am pathetic. I literally lie there staring at my phone or computer waiting for a reply, and when it doesn't come (because, as every single other person in the world but myself is doing, they are living their life and being a normal person) I get upset or worried. Which, in hindsight, is stupid. A million and one thoughts and scenarios run through my head, some more perposterous than the others, and I get scared. And that's when I get more needy and demanding. I ambush, I bombard, I do all that I can to find out why, and then cry when the reason is something so simple. As the song goes, "it's just the simple things that always get you down".
Why am I so demanding? It's pathetic; stupid. I am so selfish. I know that.
I have what I feel are valid reasons for worrying, though explaining that to them would make me sound even more pathetic; it's not worth it.
Even reading through all this now I sound stupid (a word/synonym I seemed to have used in excess tonight). I guess I just needed to organise my thoughts; nothing more.
I can't wait to get home.
xxx
The amount of hours I spend waiting to hear back from them (yes, hours) is pathetic; I am pathetic. I literally lie there staring at my phone or computer waiting for a reply, and when it doesn't come (because, as every single other person in the world but myself is doing, they are living their life and being a normal person) I get upset or worried. Which, in hindsight, is stupid. A million and one thoughts and scenarios run through my head, some more perposterous than the others, and I get scared. And that's when I get more needy and demanding. I ambush, I bombard, I do all that I can to find out why, and then cry when the reason is something so simple. As the song goes, "it's just the simple things that always get you down".
Why am I so demanding? It's pathetic; stupid. I am so selfish. I know that.
I have what I feel are valid reasons for worrying, though explaining that to them would make me sound even more pathetic; it's not worth it.
Even reading through all this now I sound stupid (a word/synonym I seemed to have used in excess tonight). I guess I just needed to organise my thoughts; nothing more.
I can't wait to get home.
xxx