Some Difficult Questions for Joanne Rowling
Okay, I'm not going to pick on her maths or her timings, because she famously admits to have a cpacity for neither.
1. Why don't wizards own phones? I understand that muggles can't do wizard things; that's inborne. And I also understand why wizards, for the most part, don't bother with muggle things. And I understand that in places of high magic, technology doesn't work; but then, not all wizards live in Hogwarts.
Why do they seem so comprehensively unable to understand the use and operation of muggle technologies? (Except trains, apparently. And radios.) Even Arthur Weasley, who professes an eager interest in the damn things? Wouldn't it make sense to exploit both sets of resources? Why don't aurors carry guns? I feckin' would. Wands are pretty handy and all, but it's nice to be packing, if only for backup.
2. Why don't wizards wear jeans? Or listen to The Cure, or read The Sun? Okay, this is kind of the same question as before. While understanding that wizards and witches have different abilities from muggles, and that they have a community of their own, how do they so comprehensively isolate themselves in that community, given that there is only one all-wizard village in the country? Outside Hogsmeade, they all have muggle neighbours; how do they manage to completely avoid them, all the time?
3. Pumpkin juice. Seriously, Ms. Rowling. Have you ever had pumpkin juice? Do you know why people don't drink it? Because it's rank, that's why. Wizards don't seem to have different taste-buds from the rest of us; they like bangers and mash and creme-brulee. So why do they drink pumpkin juice?
4. Why don't Aurors use owls to hunt fugitives? Okay, serious question now. A post owl can find you wherever in the world you are, whether you're trying to hide or not, whether you're somewhere Unplottable or not, irrespective of whether the sender knows where you are! Awesome. They can send quite heavy parcels if a number of owls cooperate; Hell, I'm going to post a heavily-armed auror to every Death Eater on the list. Done and done.
5. The Goblet of Fire? Okay, help me here. You get your loyal supporter into Hogwarts as a teacher, with direct access to your hated enemy Harry Potter. You don't want him to just kill him, as you need to use him for your spell to restore your strength. He can't Apparate out of the school, but he can create a Portkey, a kind of teleport object.
Do you: a) hatch an elaborate plot to submit him for an insanely difficult contest, then spend the entire year training and assisting him to complete the trials to make sure he wins the trophy, and then enchant the trophy to be a Portkey? Or b) enchant Potter's socks to be a Portkey on Day One?
6. Why don't the Death Eaters use Portkeys? Which brings us to Portkeys. One of the recurring points in the story is that you can't Apparate into or out of Hogwarts. But you can travel by Portkey, either way; this happens several times. It's not a difficult thing to make. So why the whole elaborate Vanishing Cabinet plot in Book 6? Why not just make a Portkey and everyone jump on board?
1. Why don't wizards own phones? I understand that muggles can't do wizard things; that's inborne. And I also understand why wizards, for the most part, don't bother with muggle things. And I understand that in places of high magic, technology doesn't work; but then, not all wizards live in Hogwarts.
Why do they seem so comprehensively unable to understand the use and operation of muggle technologies? (Except trains, apparently. And radios.) Even Arthur Weasley, who professes an eager interest in the damn things? Wouldn't it make sense to exploit both sets of resources? Why don't aurors carry guns? I feckin' would. Wands are pretty handy and all, but it's nice to be packing, if only for backup.
2. Why don't wizards wear jeans? Or listen to The Cure, or read The Sun? Okay, this is kind of the same question as before. While understanding that wizards and witches have different abilities from muggles, and that they have a community of their own, how do they so comprehensively isolate themselves in that community, given that there is only one all-wizard village in the country? Outside Hogsmeade, they all have muggle neighbours; how do they manage to completely avoid them, all the time?
3. Pumpkin juice. Seriously, Ms. Rowling. Have you ever had pumpkin juice? Do you know why people don't drink it? Because it's rank, that's why. Wizards don't seem to have different taste-buds from the rest of us; they like bangers and mash and creme-brulee. So why do they drink pumpkin juice?
4. Why don't Aurors use owls to hunt fugitives? Okay, serious question now. A post owl can find you wherever in the world you are, whether you're trying to hide or not, whether you're somewhere Unplottable or not, irrespective of whether the sender knows where you are! Awesome. They can send quite heavy parcels if a number of owls cooperate; Hell, I'm going to post a heavily-armed auror to every Death Eater on the list. Done and done.
5. The Goblet of Fire? Okay, help me here. You get your loyal supporter into Hogwarts as a teacher, with direct access to your hated enemy Harry Potter. You don't want him to just kill him, as you need to use him for your spell to restore your strength. He can't Apparate out of the school, but he can create a Portkey, a kind of teleport object.
Do you: a) hatch an elaborate plot to submit him for an insanely difficult contest, then spend the entire year training and assisting him to complete the trials to make sure he wins the trophy, and then enchant the trophy to be a Portkey? Or b) enchant Potter's socks to be a Portkey on Day One?
6. Why don't the Death Eaters use Portkeys? Which brings us to Portkeys. One of the recurring points in the story is that you can't Apparate into or out of Hogwarts. But you can travel by Portkey, either way; this happens several times. It's not a difficult thing to make. So why the whole elaborate Vanishing Cabinet plot in Book 6? Why not just make a Portkey and everyone jump on board?