Fanfiction - Stargate SG-1: WoO Fiver: G
Here is an old fic, me and a friend wrote for fun. It is a spoof of the episode Window of Opportunity.
Enjoy!
Title: Five-minute stargate--> Window of Opportunity
Author: aussie_mel and Mrs Dr. Daniel Jackson
Category: Humour, Rip off of Window of Opportunity
Season: season one
Spoilers: Window of Opportunity
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Summary: The events of Window of Opportunity Revisited.
Disclaimer: We do not own Stargate or any of the characters they belong to the show. This is just for fun, so don’t sue us.
JACK: “Whatcha Doin?”
SAM: I’m setting up a remote observatory thingy that will monitor the atmosphere for bad stuff”
JACK: “OK, so are we going to get a tan or get fried to a crisp?”
SAM: “I don’t know. Haven’t you read the script?”
DANIEL: “This script looks familiar to a language that is spoken on Earth called Pig Latin”
MALAKI: “Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. I’m going to shoot you now”
DANIEL: “Why”
MALAKI: “I don’t know the script says to”
(Teal’c and jack grab Malaki in a WWF style)
TEAL’C: “I do believe I hear something Colonel O’Neill”
JACK: “What’s that blue light do?”
LOOP
DANIEL: “What do you think?”
JACK: “ME? Think? Are you nuts?”
(Briefing room)
JACK: “Hey. I’m experiencing a major case of De Ja Vous here!”
TEAL’C: “As am I.”
HAMMOND: “Off to Doc Fraiser with you.”
FRASIER: “They are perfectly normal Sir.”
JACK: “I told you so! I told you so!”
LOOP
DANIEL: “What do you want?”
JACK: “Actually it’s what do you think?”
DANIEL: “HUH?”
(Briefing room)
JACK: “It’s magnets Sir. Magnets.”
TEAL’C: “Indeed.”
LOOP
DANIEL: “You guys have to become like me and learn to love Latin and love to learn Latin.”
JACK: “Bummer.”
TEAL’C: “Indeed.”
LOOP
(Infirmary)
JACK: “Since when do my eyes cause hallucinations?... ok bad example. Sir. Request permission to return to planet p47dny…ah whatever it was.”
HAMMOND: “Request denied, and Teal’c PUT THAT THERMOMETER BACK IN YOUR MOUTH!”
LOOP
DANIEL: “Have you guys considered doing any thing crazy since there are no consequences?”
JACK: “MEEP MEEP!”
TEAL’C: (Raises eyebrow)
LOOP
(In gate room)
JACK: “Has any one seen my nine iron?”
TEAL'C: “I believe it is the one in your hand Colonel O’Neill.”
JACK: “Right. I knew that!”
TEAL’C: (raises eyebrow)
(Stargate engages and SG-12 enters.)
HAMMOND: “What happened to you?”
SG-12 COMMANDER: “I’m not sure Sir. The mission was going as planned when we were suddenly bombarded with golf balls.”
HAMMOND: “COLONEL O‘NEILL!!!!!!!!!”
LOOP
HAMMOND: “Colonel O’Neill. What is this?”
JACK: “It’s my resignation Sir.”
SAM: “But why Sir?”
JACK: “Well. I wouldn’t be able to pat Hammond of Texas on the head if I didn’t.”
HAMMOND: “Don’t even think about it!!!”
JACK: “There was another reason…”
SAM: “What’s that?”
JACK: “So I can do this!!!!!”
( Jack kisses Sam)
LOOP
( Back on planet p47dny… ah whatever it was)
MALAKI: “You are too late SG1!”
SAM: “As a matter of fact, we are right on time. You should check your script!”
MALAKI: (checks script) “Oh. So you are. Sorry about that.”
JACK: “Just turn off your shield so we can come in there and get you.”
MALAKI: “NO!”
DANIEL: “PLEEEEEEEEEASE!”
MALAKI: “Ok. Since you asked so nicely.”
LOOP BROKEN
(SG-1 return's to the gate room)
HAMMOND: “So I take it you broke the loop.”
TEAL’C: “We did indeed General Hammond.”
SAM: “So did anything exciting happen during the loops?”
JACK: “Oh you know. The usual. Leaned Latin and how to juggle. Teal’c beat up a few guys. Daniel “LOST” his glasses and you and I saw fire works!”
~Finis~