Aussie Joke!!
found this on a list i'm on thought it was cool!!!!!!
You are not Australian until you have….
1. You've caught a blowfly buzzing around your head
with your bare hands.
2. You've mimicked Alf Stewart from 'Home and Away' -
"Push off, ya flamin' drongo".
3. You have argued whether Fords are better than
Holden's.
4. You've done the Hot Sand run from the beach to your
towel.
5. You know who Ray Martin is.
6. You call your home "My Joint".
7. You start using words like 'Bloody, grouse and
champ'.
8. You stop greeting people with 'Hello' and go
straight into 'how're you doin'?
9. You've seriously considered running down to the
shops in a pair of ugh boots.
10. You own ugh boots.
11. You've been to a one day cricket match and screamed
incomprehensibly until your throat went raw.
12. You've had to decide between putting up with
mosquitoes and moving the BBQ inside.
13. You've changed your ring tone on your mobile phone
to something much more annoying than the one it
came with.
14. You kind of know the first verse of the national
anthem, but buggered if you know what 'girt' means.
15. You have a story that some how revolves around
excess consumption of alcohol and a mate named
'Dave'.
16. You're secretly annoyed with Russell Crowe.
17. You own a Bonds t-shirt and wear it with pride.
18. You've attended a music festival on the hottest day
of the year.
19. You've tried to hang off a Hills Hoist while
pretending you could fly.
20. You've had to visit the emergency room after
hanging off Hills Hoist and pretending you could
fly.
21. You own pair of thongs for every day use, and
another pair of dress thongs for special occasions.
22. You don't know what's in a meat pie and you don't
care.
23. You pronounce Australia: 'Strayl-ya'.
24. You call soccer 'soccer', not football.
25. You know a dog named Bluey.
26. You've squeezed Vegemite between Vita Wheat to make
Vegemite worms.
27. You suck coffee though a Tim Tam.
28. You've become deeply cynical of politicians.
29. You realise that lifeguards are the only ones who
can wear Speedo's and look good.
30. Done the Sunday session.
31. You pledge allegiance to Vegemite over Promite.
32. In your CD collection you have at least one: Kylie
Minogue, Cold Chisel or Paul Kelly.
33. You understand the value of Public Holidays.
34. You think that the Crocodile Hunter is just stupid.
35. You believe that the flavour of any meal is
improved by adding tomato sauce.
36. You have been invited to a B&S Ball.
37. Your weekends are spent barracking for your
favourite sports team.
38. You have a toilet dolly.
39. You've played beach cricket with a tennis ball and
a bat fashioned out of a fence post.
40. You still go on about how great the Sydney Olympics
were.
41. You firmly believe that in the end, everything will
be ok, and have told a mate in tough times that
'She'll be right, mate'.
42. You use the phrase 'no worries' at least once a
day.
43. You've been on a beach holiday and probably stayed
in a caravan.
44. You constantly shorten words. For example, break-
fast becomes 'brekkie' and afternoon becomes
'arvo', barbeque becomes 'barbie'.
45. You order a $5 steak the size of your head at your
local RSL.
46. You've adopted a local bar as one of your own.
47. You know all the words to 'Holy Grail' and sing it
at the top of your lungs.
48. Wondered why Bert Newton is still pretty cool for
an old guy.
49. You can't understand why John Farnham never became
an international success.
50. You know that the oath of mateship can never be
limited by geographical distance.
You are not Australian until you have….
1. You've caught a blowfly buzzing around your head
with your bare hands.
2. You've mimicked Alf Stewart from 'Home and Away' -
"Push off, ya flamin' drongo".
3. You have argued whether Fords are better than
Holden's.
4. You've done the Hot Sand run from the beach to your
towel.
5. You know who Ray Martin is.
6. You call your home "My Joint".
7. You start using words like 'Bloody, grouse and
champ'.
8. You stop greeting people with 'Hello' and go
straight into 'how're you doin'?
9. You've seriously considered running down to the
shops in a pair of ugh boots.
10. You own ugh boots.
11. You've been to a one day cricket match and screamed
incomprehensibly until your throat went raw.
12. You've had to decide between putting up with
mosquitoes and moving the BBQ inside.
13. You've changed your ring tone on your mobile phone
to something much more annoying than the one it
came with.
14. You kind of know the first verse of the national
anthem, but buggered if you know what 'girt' means.
15. You have a story that some how revolves around
excess consumption of alcohol and a mate named
'Dave'.
16. You're secretly annoyed with Russell Crowe.
17. You own a Bonds t-shirt and wear it with pride.
18. You've attended a music festival on the hottest day
of the year.
19. You've tried to hang off a Hills Hoist while
pretending you could fly.
20. You've had to visit the emergency room after
hanging off Hills Hoist and pretending you could
fly.
21. You own pair of thongs for every day use, and
another pair of dress thongs for special occasions.
22. You don't know what's in a meat pie and you don't
care.
23. You pronounce Australia: 'Strayl-ya'.
24. You call soccer 'soccer', not football.
25. You know a dog named Bluey.
26. You've squeezed Vegemite between Vita Wheat to make
Vegemite worms.
27. You suck coffee though a Tim Tam.
28. You've become deeply cynical of politicians.
29. You realise that lifeguards are the only ones who
can wear Speedo's and look good.
30. Done the Sunday session.
31. You pledge allegiance to Vegemite over Promite.
32. In your CD collection you have at least one: Kylie
Minogue, Cold Chisel or Paul Kelly.
33. You understand the value of Public Holidays.
34. You think that the Crocodile Hunter is just stupid.
35. You believe that the flavour of any meal is
improved by adding tomato sauce.
36. You have been invited to a B&S Ball.
37. Your weekends are spent barracking for your
favourite sports team.
38. You have a toilet dolly.
39. You've played beach cricket with a tennis ball and
a bat fashioned out of a fence post.
40. You still go on about how great the Sydney Olympics
were.
41. You firmly believe that in the end, everything will
be ok, and have told a mate in tough times that
'She'll be right, mate'.
42. You use the phrase 'no worries' at least once a
day.
43. You've been on a beach holiday and probably stayed
in a caravan.
44. You constantly shorten words. For example, break-
fast becomes 'brekkie' and afternoon becomes
'arvo', barbeque becomes 'barbie'.
45. You order a $5 steak the size of your head at your
local RSL.
46. You've adopted a local bar as one of your own.
47. You know all the words to 'Holy Grail' and sing it
at the top of your lungs.
48. Wondered why Bert Newton is still pretty cool for
an old guy.
49. You can't understand why John Farnham never became
an international success.
50. You know that the oath of mateship can never be
limited by geographical distance.