Fic: Like Energy or Water
Title: Like Energy or Water
Fandom: QAF
Pairing: Brian/Justin, Brian/Other, Justin/Other
Timeline: S1-through the future
Warnings: Not exactly a couple story, but very much a love story. Angst. See also: pairings. :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to QAF.
Author's Notes: As usual, I am incredibly sheepish to post this B/J fic after being away from the pairing for so long. This isn't at all how I imagined it would come out at all, but am curious to see what you think. It is a bit of a departure for me, but a good exersize.
This story is based somewhat on the experiences with my first love. So this is dedicated to Matt.
It is amazing how love is born.
Where you headed?
No place special.
I can change that.
Something, that comes out of nothing. Only to become everything.
…And all I could think was, please don't let anything happen to him. I love you.
Love, when it is new, is electric. Burning white hot and blue. Heat from the very center of the flame. Forging flesh and soul in an invincible bond.
It doesn't matter…it's only time.
Love is malleable. Able to change shapes to fit into whatever mold is required of it.
I swear to God, I heard gun fire outside my apartment last night.
Don't be so fucking melodramatic.
And the hallway smells like boiled cabbage.
But you love it, don't you?
Yeah…I do.
And yet, even though love is made to endure, sometimes it cannot.
Sometimes I feel like all I ever do is miss you. And it just hurts so fucking much, because I love you, Brian. I love you so much.
I know.
But I can't go on like this… never knowing when the situation is going to change. I mean, it's been years and you may never move here...
I know…
But then I think about the other choice and it doesn't feel any better…
Justin...
In fact it feels a million times worse.
Justin.
Yeah?
Is it time?
Love burns you up on the inside.
I miss you.
Love ridicules your loss.
I miss you, too.
Love refuses to let you go.
Sometimes I think we're just being so fucking stupid…
Brian. There's no other choice.
But love does not vanish. If anything, it entices you. Calls to you.
Pulling you to places that make your heart scream with familiarity. The beautiful comfort that becomes love's sweetest sin.
We can't keep doing this.
Why not?
Because it's not right.
When have you ever cared about the ethics of fucking? Besides, I told you, we've been on like, two officials date. He doesn't matter, Brian.
But it's not about….wait, what's his name again?
Devon.
Right. Devon. It isn't about him.
Then what are you worrying about? Just come back to bed. Your flight doesn't leave for another four hours.
I can't…keep coming to you like this. Being with you, touching you, for a weekend, a holiday , having it feel like nothing has changed. Only to leave and know that everything has changed. It's not fair, Justin. To you or to me.
Love leaves you broken and hopeless. Before it leaves you numb.
Breath fills your lungs. Blood moves through your veins. Life happens while your mind continues to grapple with what it all means.
Then time comes into play. Saving you from yourself. Because it cannot heal all wounds, but it can heal these.
So how's it going, Taylor?
Great. Paris has been amazing.
I'm sure. Those pictures you emailed me were really good.
Which ones did I send you?
The one's of the river.
Right, of course. Those did turn out well, but then again, anyone can be a photographer in Paris. And what about you? I hear Kinnetik just can't be stopped.
It hasn't been easy. New York is a killer market.
And you're the one doing the killing, right?
Damn straight.
Love allows you to celebrate his joy, even when it is someone else who causes it. Love lets you take a step back and see things objectively. All the little moments of your past that lead you to your present.
And love lets you realize, that maybe things are the way they are supposed to be after all.
So what's his name?
Henri.
O la la.
So cliche, I know. But we've been together for about 3 years. It's legal over there so, we made it official this spring.
Congratulations, sunshine.
Thanks, Brian.
What does he do?
He's a musician. But don't worry…he's a jazz bass player. Nothing like Ethan.
Thank god for that.
Yeah, tell me about it. He's a lot more like you actually. Cocky, brazen, desperately handsome.
Mmmhmmm…
And what about you? Are you seeing anyone these days?
Yeah, I am.
That's great.
Love adapts. Emerging all the brighter in its new form.
But the memory of its former shape lingers on.
You were my first love, you know.
44 years old and finally a sentimental drunk.
I'm not drunk and I'm not being sentimental. I'm just…thinking.
Well, in that case. You were mine, too. Incase you hadn't caught on then.
But you were seventeen. I was twenty-nine. That makes a huge difference.
You loved me when I was seventeen?
Sure. I still do, in a strange way.
It's not strange at all. There will always be a part of me that loves you.
Because true love never fades. Other loves may mask it. Surpassing it in strength or length. But like energy or water - love exists in perpetuity. A ceaseless cycle, that once started continues on, never stopping, only ever changing form.
Fandom: QAF
Pairing: Brian/Justin, Brian/Other, Justin/Other
Timeline: S1-through the future
Warnings: Not exactly a couple story, but very much a love story. Angst. See also: pairings. :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to QAF.
Author's Notes: As usual, I am incredibly sheepish to post this B/J fic after being away from the pairing for so long. This isn't at all how I imagined it would come out at all, but am curious to see what you think. It is a bit of a departure for me, but a good exersize.
This story is based somewhat on the experiences with my first love. So this is dedicated to Matt.
It is amazing how love is born.
Where you headed?
No place special.
I can change that.
Something, that comes out of nothing. Only to become everything.
…And all I could think was, please don't let anything happen to him. I love you.
Love, when it is new, is electric. Burning white hot and blue. Heat from the very center of the flame. Forging flesh and soul in an invincible bond.
It doesn't matter…it's only time.
Love is malleable. Able to change shapes to fit into whatever mold is required of it.
I swear to God, I heard gun fire outside my apartment last night.
Don't be so fucking melodramatic.
And the hallway smells like boiled cabbage.
But you love it, don't you?
Yeah…I do.
And yet, even though love is made to endure, sometimes it cannot.
Sometimes I feel like all I ever do is miss you. And it just hurts so fucking much, because I love you, Brian. I love you so much.
I know.
But I can't go on like this… never knowing when the situation is going to change. I mean, it's been years and you may never move here...
I know…
But then I think about the other choice and it doesn't feel any better…
Justin...
In fact it feels a million times worse.
Justin.
Yeah?
Is it time?
Love burns you up on the inside.
I miss you.
Love ridicules your loss.
I miss you, too.
Love refuses to let you go.
Sometimes I think we're just being so fucking stupid…
Brian. There's no other choice.
But love does not vanish. If anything, it entices you. Calls to you.
Pulling you to places that make your heart scream with familiarity. The beautiful comfort that becomes love's sweetest sin.
We can't keep doing this.
Why not?
Because it's not right.
When have you ever cared about the ethics of fucking? Besides, I told you, we've been on like, two officials date. He doesn't matter, Brian.
But it's not about….wait, what's his name again?
Devon.
Right. Devon. It isn't about him.
Then what are you worrying about? Just come back to bed. Your flight doesn't leave for another four hours.
I can't…keep coming to you like this. Being with you, touching you, for a weekend, a holiday , having it feel like nothing has changed. Only to leave and know that everything has changed. It's not fair, Justin. To you or to me.
Love leaves you broken and hopeless. Before it leaves you numb.
Breath fills your lungs. Blood moves through your veins. Life happens while your mind continues to grapple with what it all means.
Then time comes into play. Saving you from yourself. Because it cannot heal all wounds, but it can heal these.
So how's it going, Taylor?
Great. Paris has been amazing.
I'm sure. Those pictures you emailed me were really good.
Which ones did I send you?
The one's of the river.
Right, of course. Those did turn out well, but then again, anyone can be a photographer in Paris. And what about you? I hear Kinnetik just can't be stopped.
It hasn't been easy. New York is a killer market.
And you're the one doing the killing, right?
Damn straight.
Love allows you to celebrate his joy, even when it is someone else who causes it. Love lets you take a step back and see things objectively. All the little moments of your past that lead you to your present.
And love lets you realize, that maybe things are the way they are supposed to be after all.
So what's his name?
Henri.
O la la.
So cliche, I know. But we've been together for about 3 years. It's legal over there so, we made it official this spring.
Congratulations, sunshine.
Thanks, Brian.
What does he do?
He's a musician. But don't worry…he's a jazz bass player. Nothing like Ethan.
Thank god for that.
Yeah, tell me about it. He's a lot more like you actually. Cocky, brazen, desperately handsome.
Mmmhmmm…
And what about you? Are you seeing anyone these days?
Yeah, I am.
That's great.
Love adapts. Emerging all the brighter in its new form.
But the memory of its former shape lingers on.
You were my first love, you know.
44 years old and finally a sentimental drunk.
I'm not drunk and I'm not being sentimental. I'm just…thinking.
Well, in that case. You were mine, too. Incase you hadn't caught on then.
But you were seventeen. I was twenty-nine. That makes a huge difference.
You loved me when I was seventeen?
Sure. I still do, in a strange way.
It's not strange at all. There will always be a part of me that loves you.
Because true love never fades. Other loves may mask it. Surpassing it in strength or length. But like energy or water - love exists in perpetuity. A ceaseless cycle, that once started continues on, never stopping, only ever changing form.