six months or thereabouts (and i'm still glad i don't miss you)
everything had poetic resonance to you. you were one of those kids who searched for the whys and the whences and it made you a better writer but a harder person to know. because there was no in between with you, it was either rock bottom or somewhere close to. i always had to smile around you and act enthusiastic because i couldn't be the reason for you to fall.
and it's been months and i still check up on you even when you don't know. you changed in all the ways that i was beginning to dislike about you and now i know i've made the right decision. even when i read your entries about how you blamed yourself for me cutting you off and i feel bad but there's nothing left to say. you say "all you got" was an entry, no proper goodbye. and yeah, you're damn right that's all you got because it's all we were worth in the end. you love the words so much they were better to let you go than a look or a whispered farewell. that's all you got and that's all i owe you, if anything at all. for one who acts so grown up and deep thinking you're still a kid and hell so am i but at least i don't act like i'm anything more than that.
and i still dwell on all the bullshit because it's the one thing i both wish i hadn't started and am glad that i did just to end it and know it happened.
thanks for being the greyscale version of everyone i know.
and it's been months and i still check up on you even when you don't know. you changed in all the ways that i was beginning to dislike about you and now i know i've made the right decision. even when i read your entries about how you blamed yourself for me cutting you off and i feel bad but there's nothing left to say. you say "all you got" was an entry, no proper goodbye. and yeah, you're damn right that's all you got because it's all we were worth in the end. you love the words so much they were better to let you go than a look or a whispered farewell. that's all you got and that's all i owe you, if anything at all. for one who acts so grown up and deep thinking you're still a kid and hell so am i but at least i don't act like i'm anything more than that.
and i still dwell on all the bullshit because it's the one thing i both wish i hadn't started and am glad that i did just to end it and know it happened.
thanks for being the greyscale version of everyone i know.