Valentine's day...
I really should stop making plans, because they never actually as I intended. Adrian is still sick (since Thursday)...and as a result, we never went to my formal or the dinner. Still, it's been a good day. We hiked over to Martin's (for the 3rd time in three days...I think I'm just looking for excuses to go to Breadsmith, which is right across the street) to pick up some sausages and eggs for next Sunday's brunch. We came back with a few movies...I talked Adrian into renting "Debut."
This movie is...err...made by Filipinos, pretty much for Filipinos (half of it was in Tagalog)...which is probably why Adrian hasn't seen it in the three years that its been out. It's the Filipino version of the classic teen story, complicated by issues that are particular to asian cultures. Interesting...
And troubling. Mostly because it hits a little too close to reality. I'm rambling on about this issue because I stumble across my personal "ethnic" issues more and more often...little reminders everywhere that I've yet to compromise with my heritage. I'm too tired to make a coherent entry out of all the small and unrelated factors, so I'll list them bullet-style, and attempt to draw some threads at the end.
-I went to the kick-off retreat for Sustained Dialogue (a new campus program promoting conversation and understanding between people of different ethnicities) last week. They broke us into small groups to try the much-touted conversation. I was in a rather mixed group of several black girls, 2 black guys, 2 white guys, a white girl, and hispanic guy...and one other asian guy. As we made our round of introductions, I realized that the only person I was definitely uncomfortable with was the other asian guy. It was nothing personal...just that he's too much like me, yet far, far too different. I can't communicate the tension...I only know that it exists in my head, yet I seem powerless to break down that barrier--assumptions on my end as much as on theirs. Adrian is Asian as well...but there barrier never existed between us, because we were friends before I ever knew his ethnic background. I wonder if it would have change things had I known...
-I used to (and I probably still do) have a webpage on asianavenue...largely stating my immense dislike of the mindset of the majority of people using that site. Of course, this was back in high school, in my "I'm right, and I have to change the world!" phase...and it accomplished nothing, really. I got into a few heated and fruitless debates with die-hard "azn priders"...but for the most part, the only responses I ever recieved was from people who had obviously never read a word on the site, but was hoping to score. *sighs* I have up on it in frustration a few years ago...I wonder how I'd respond now. I still detest that lifestyle and that mindset...but I have to question the roots of my own frustrations.
-At one point in the movie tonight, the main character (the filipino senior) was at a party...where a drunk girl asked him if he eats dogs and cats...and eventually called him a Chink. He was so shocked that he said nothing...and left the party. Adrian asked me what I would have done if the same thing had happened to me.
I don't know. My normal response to any insult of this kind is to simply let them make an ass out of themselves...when I'm truly furious, I become extremely articulant, cold, and snobbish...I pull out words I haven't used since studying for the SAT's, and throw back response that are far more grammatically proper then I can normally hope for. Its hard for me to answer without that adrenline-inducing insult. My guess is that I would have hinted at their lack of cultural education, and the pitiful limitations of their own ignorance. No insults, certainly no swears...nothing but a smile.
Smiles work wonders.
*****
I really didn't talk about Valentine's day, did i? It happens...my mind wanders when I write.
It's been a much better Valentine's day than usual...I enjoyed the company of a good friend today, and if Shawn ever gets back to me about plans for tomorrow, I might be spending the afternoon with a few more friends :)
That's a hint, Shawn.
This movie is...err...made by Filipinos, pretty much for Filipinos (half of it was in Tagalog)...which is probably why Adrian hasn't seen it in the three years that its been out. It's the Filipino version of the classic teen story, complicated by issues that are particular to asian cultures. Interesting...
And troubling. Mostly because it hits a little too close to reality. I'm rambling on about this issue because I stumble across my personal "ethnic" issues more and more often...little reminders everywhere that I've yet to compromise with my heritage. I'm too tired to make a coherent entry out of all the small and unrelated factors, so I'll list them bullet-style, and attempt to draw some threads at the end.
-I went to the kick-off retreat for Sustained Dialogue (a new campus program promoting conversation and understanding between people of different ethnicities) last week. They broke us into small groups to try the much-touted conversation. I was in a rather mixed group of several black girls, 2 black guys, 2 white guys, a white girl, and hispanic guy...and one other asian guy. As we made our round of introductions, I realized that the only person I was definitely uncomfortable with was the other asian guy. It was nothing personal...just that he's too much like me, yet far, far too different. I can't communicate the tension...I only know that it exists in my head, yet I seem powerless to break down that barrier--assumptions on my end as much as on theirs. Adrian is Asian as well...but there barrier never existed between us, because we were friends before I ever knew his ethnic background. I wonder if it would have change things had I known...
-I used to (and I probably still do) have a webpage on asianavenue...largely stating my immense dislike of the mindset of the majority of people using that site. Of course, this was back in high school, in my "I'm right, and I have to change the world!" phase...and it accomplished nothing, really. I got into a few heated and fruitless debates with die-hard "azn priders"...but for the most part, the only responses I ever recieved was from people who had obviously never read a word on the site, but was hoping to score. *sighs* I have up on it in frustration a few years ago...I wonder how I'd respond now. I still detest that lifestyle and that mindset...but I have to question the roots of my own frustrations.
-At one point in the movie tonight, the main character (the filipino senior) was at a party...where a drunk girl asked him if he eats dogs and cats...and eventually called him a Chink. He was so shocked that he said nothing...and left the party. Adrian asked me what I would have done if the same thing had happened to me.
I don't know. My normal response to any insult of this kind is to simply let them make an ass out of themselves...when I'm truly furious, I become extremely articulant, cold, and snobbish...I pull out words I haven't used since studying for the SAT's, and throw back response that are far more grammatically proper then I can normally hope for. Its hard for me to answer without that adrenline-inducing insult. My guess is that I would have hinted at their lack of cultural education, and the pitiful limitations of their own ignorance. No insults, certainly no swears...nothing but a smile.
Smiles work wonders.
*****
I really didn't talk about Valentine's day, did i? It happens...my mind wanders when I write.
It's been a much better Valentine's day than usual...I enjoyed the company of a good friend today, and if Shawn ever gets back to me about plans for tomorrow, I might be spending the afternoon with a few more friends :)
That's a hint, Shawn.