10 ten events that have shaped who am I: (A lesson in appreciation)
I've been thinking...what events have influenced my life the most? I came up with a list of the top ten. Note: these are events, not people. Even when I note a person, it's the process of interacting, or meeting that person that is significant. Obviously, there's been people who have really shaped who I am--but that's for a different list.
1. Coming to America
That's an easy one. Moving here when I was 7 completely changed the course of my life. I can't even image who I'd be, or what I would be like if I had stayed in China. With some exceptions, I have an adversion towards many of the FOB immigrants from China who are my age. I actually get along well with those who are past college when they arrive here (like my parents). It's the generation between junior high and college that bothers me...they have too much of China's materialism and shallow for me to be comfortable around them, yet they lack the maturity I admire in the older ones. What if I grew up to be one of them? Would I be as stubbornly independent, as "wierd" as I am now?
2. Sophomore year of high school
4 years ago, I was on the verge of failing out of school. I dated two abusive boyfriends in a row (what they say about it becoming a habit--definitely, and sadly true), both of whom would still be behind bars if I actually told someone what happened at the time. The highlight of my life was Utopia, an online game that I played, and played very well. I was just recovering from flirting with a eating disorder at the time. My parents and I fought constantly--much more so then we do now. They were on the verge of shipping me back to China, in the hope that I would reform. Twice, I ran away from home.
It was nightmare year by all accounts (though if we looked back on my straight-A, "perfect" freshman year, it's easy to see how it had set me up for the fall)...but I've learned so many lessons from that year. And in the end, the damage down was temporary, but the lessons learned permanent. I won't be as resilent, or as sure of myself if i never went through the pit of hell. I wouldn't understand what it means to do well, if I didn't know understand what it's like to be doing so badly. Perhaps most of all, it taught me I can and I will bounce back from anything.
3. Living with Blythe, year at Earlham
I didn't need hindsight to know that Blythe would really change my perspective on life. She's my exact opposite in many ways: a country girl--accent and all, intelligent as all hell, but without the education that we tend to value. Her goals in life (to go into holistic medicine) was so different, her experiences echoed mine, but for the most part, were divergent. Her family could very well be the opposite of mine. As we were both only children, one would expect us to fight--we never did. I can easily say that we got along better then any other pair of roomates in my dorm. We understood to give each other distance...we understand how to get back the daily annoyancs...and I still claim her as one of my best friends.
She's undoublably the most courageous person I've ever met. I learned not to judge others by their background, or their initial appearances--or even by the goals they value in life. It was also from her that I learned how how unexpected a loyal a friend could be.
Earlham also gave the sense of confidence that my high school (competitive, over-achieving, with teachers who told me to my face that my A-'s weren't good enough). By the end of the second semester, I had 3 professors asking me to TA (ironically, none of them were for my major). I had worked my tail off...I had learned how to approach and form bonds with professors (critical at the much larger, no-name ND)...and developed a iron-clad work ethic. By the end of the year, I felt confident that I can get any obstacle if I simply worked hard enough.
4. Meeting Adrian
I met Adrian at a turning point in my life--shortly after ending my first decent relationship. We became good friends from the start, even though he was in California, while I was in Chicago (met through Utopia, of all things). Over the years, he's questioned, challenged, and forced me to reconsider my way of thinking, my assessment of myself. Even now, he's one of the bedrocks of my life as one of the few people who isn't afraid to stand up to me when I'm being a stubborn brat. The year I met him (as a junior in high school), I was just starting to move away from my troublesome sophomore year--Adrian became the example I used to figure out how to manage my own life.
5. 18 college rejection letters
Though I still value the acceptance letters from Knox and Earlham, it was really the rejection letters that helped to shape who I am. Mom and I were in England, at the time. I remember that we were staying in Piccadilly square, when Dad called with the news. I remember the crushing disappointment when I realized that even my "safety" schools had rejected me. Perhap that was also the moment that I had a sense of my own growth from two years ago: instead of giving up, as I did before...I told myself that I will do well at Earlham, and that i'd re-apply. 2 semesters, and a 4.0 later--ND to me in (it was one of the schools that had rejected me the first time).
6.
(to be continued)
1. Coming to America
That's an easy one. Moving here when I was 7 completely changed the course of my life. I can't even image who I'd be, or what I would be like if I had stayed in China. With some exceptions, I have an adversion towards many of the FOB immigrants from China who are my age. I actually get along well with those who are past college when they arrive here (like my parents). It's the generation between junior high and college that bothers me...they have too much of China's materialism and shallow for me to be comfortable around them, yet they lack the maturity I admire in the older ones. What if I grew up to be one of them? Would I be as stubbornly independent, as "wierd" as I am now?
2. Sophomore year of high school
4 years ago, I was on the verge of failing out of school. I dated two abusive boyfriends in a row (what they say about it becoming a habit--definitely, and sadly true), both of whom would still be behind bars if I actually told someone what happened at the time. The highlight of my life was Utopia, an online game that I played, and played very well. I was just recovering from flirting with a eating disorder at the time. My parents and I fought constantly--much more so then we do now. They were on the verge of shipping me back to China, in the hope that I would reform. Twice, I ran away from home.
It was nightmare year by all accounts (though if we looked back on my straight-A, "perfect" freshman year, it's easy to see how it had set me up for the fall)...but I've learned so many lessons from that year. And in the end, the damage down was temporary, but the lessons learned permanent. I won't be as resilent, or as sure of myself if i never went through the pit of hell. I wouldn't understand what it means to do well, if I didn't know understand what it's like to be doing so badly. Perhaps most of all, it taught me I can and I will bounce back from anything.
3. Living with Blythe, year at Earlham
I didn't need hindsight to know that Blythe would really change my perspective on life. She's my exact opposite in many ways: a country girl--accent and all, intelligent as all hell, but without the education that we tend to value. Her goals in life (to go into holistic medicine) was so different, her experiences echoed mine, but for the most part, were divergent. Her family could very well be the opposite of mine. As we were both only children, one would expect us to fight--we never did. I can easily say that we got along better then any other pair of roomates in my dorm. We understood to give each other distance...we understand how to get back the daily annoyancs...and I still claim her as one of my best friends.
She's undoublably the most courageous person I've ever met. I learned not to judge others by their background, or their initial appearances--or even by the goals they value in life. It was also from her that I learned how how unexpected a loyal a friend could be.
Earlham also gave the sense of confidence that my high school (competitive, over-achieving, with teachers who told me to my face that my A-'s weren't good enough). By the end of the second semester, I had 3 professors asking me to TA (ironically, none of them were for my major). I had worked my tail off...I had learned how to approach and form bonds with professors (critical at the much larger, no-name ND)...and developed a iron-clad work ethic. By the end of the year, I felt confident that I can get any obstacle if I simply worked hard enough.
4. Meeting Adrian
I met Adrian at a turning point in my life--shortly after ending my first decent relationship. We became good friends from the start, even though he was in California, while I was in Chicago (met through Utopia, of all things). Over the years, he's questioned, challenged, and forced me to reconsider my way of thinking, my assessment of myself. Even now, he's one of the bedrocks of my life as one of the few people who isn't afraid to stand up to me when I'm being a stubborn brat. The year I met him (as a junior in high school), I was just starting to move away from my troublesome sophomore year--Adrian became the example I used to figure out how to manage my own life.
5. 18 college rejection letters
Though I still value the acceptance letters from Knox and Earlham, it was really the rejection letters that helped to shape who I am. Mom and I were in England, at the time. I remember that we were staying in Piccadilly square, when Dad called with the news. I remember the crushing disappointment when I realized that even my "safety" schools had rejected me. Perhap that was also the moment that I had a sense of my own growth from two years ago: instead of giving up, as I did before...I told myself that I will do well at Earlham, and that i'd re-apply. 2 semesters, and a 4.0 later--ND to me in (it was one of the schools that had rejected me the first time).
6.
(to be continued)