boys!?!!! ?

[aurorapdx]

Gosh, I don't think I've ever been so annoyed with a crush before. You know how it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy when you think of that special someone? Just to think of the best of times with that person leaves you floating in the air? I wish it was like that. Instead it's mostly lust and like that I have for this certain mystery man. Crush is not really even the word. It's a compulsion. Yeah, that's it. The man is geeky, brilliant, sexy, funny, crazy good in the sack. All the things that I love. Yet I have this confusion that hits me every time I think about him. It's a cross between loathing and passion. I don't think I want to date him. I want him as a fuck buddy. At the same time I think he might have moved on with sex between the two of us. My theory is it's the gossip going around that was merely by accident. And it wasn't even bad really. I simply called him my fuck buddy to someone and his ex found out and confronted him about it. He didn't even know he had a fuck buddy when he was told by her. Last time I checked, sex three times or more with someone is at the fuck buddy level but that's just me. Yet I feel that clinched things between us. Every time I see him there's sexual tension that you can cut with a knife. I wish I could be more frank with my sexual requests. Here I am, Miss Shy girl. Honestly I got him in the sack the first time by asking straight up for sex online. All I can send in via myspace is stupid comments and pointless messages. What's a girl to do. I badly need sex and I only want it from one man right now. I'm pretty sure if I wasn't so bad at game I'd have more sex from him as we speak. It's irritating.

THE END