(no subject)
oh what to do you see
i think im giving up on holding out to maybe being friendly again. i have to accept that there is a good chance that just maybe that will never happen...
but do you think its inappropriate to ask to just talk once? for some form of "closure" whatever that means...? am i not in place?
because i still think and feel sad and guilty. and i miss. and i cant help but wonder when i read that time has been poured down the drain listening to whiney girls and alchol poured down the throat trying to find/forget others girls which catagory i fit into?
i am afraid that its all been turned to dust by hate and everything but the bad is meaningless now. to be concieved of in such a way kills a part of my life that was. i cannot sustain the past alone and this would help to make it not so. it would not only be wasted, it would cease to exist. and im not ready to die at all.
i think im giving up on holding out to maybe being friendly again. i have to accept that there is a good chance that just maybe that will never happen...
but do you think its inappropriate to ask to just talk once? for some form of "closure" whatever that means...? am i not in place?
because i still think and feel sad and guilty. and i miss. and i cant help but wonder when i read that time has been poured down the drain listening to whiney girls and alchol poured down the throat trying to find/forget others girls which catagory i fit into?
i am afraid that its all been turned to dust by hate and everything but the bad is meaningless now. to be concieved of in such a way kills a part of my life that was. i cannot sustain the past alone and this would help to make it not so. it would not only be wasted, it would cease to exist. and im not ready to die at all.