it would seem i've lost my crackers

[auroranine]

i know now that i am not an academic. so im giving up the life style. i don't need to be thinking art and writing about art and worst of all philosophizing about art, i just need to be making art. i need to write a letter to my chair and explain to him i won't be continueing with my thesis because i don't see a point. my only motivation to go on is to nat make him angry with me, and thats not a good enough reason.
the unexamined life isn't worth living - maybe. the unlived life isn't worth examining - definitly.
i do enjoy the readings. mostly i enjoy the nietzsche. but they don't prompt me to write academically. the promt me to write otherwise.

i am not a critic.
i listen to the elevator go down and i do not think i could make it sound better than it does.
instead i sit
by the buttons and watch them take their turns to glow.
and i see the people with places to be get on and off.
and i listen to their words
and i do not think i could tune their woices with a piano key.
instead i wait
until i am alone in the shifting metal box
and i lay on the floor
and i look up.

i look up and i explore the parts of my face that i have never experienced.
and i do not think it would be better standing up or closer.
not even when the doors bing
and someone askis me if i am alright.