5c life
I'm home not thirty minutes last night and my sister fights with me.
I'm off work today and my mom and I get into a huge piss-fit.
Riding with all of them today to go scope out where I need to be tomorrow morning, then going out for dinner was a less than pleasant experience with all the stupid tension that's around no matter what when we all four get together.
I wonder how much of this is really my fault and what I can do to fix it.
Experience tells me talking gets me in trouble.
Logic tells me no one wants to be around someone who just sits there silently.
I think I'd rather sit in a small, cozy room with nothing but a leather chair, a laptop and my pillow,a PS2 stuffed in the corner, and a huge swimming pool of empty paper with pens and pencils and erasers and such to match. No one would get in except through my little glowy screen. I'd waste most of my money on bills and probably buy nonhealthy groceries. NO ACCOUNTABILITY WHATSOEVER DA YO.
My faults are so painful.
I'm such an awful person sometimes.
So many people could do better with what I have.
Sometimes it all feels so messed up, it wouldn't matter if anything changed, now.
...but I know it isn't really all that bad, and I'm just venting.
Just gothing and being stupid, even though I challenge everything and it's all excruciatingly genuine.
I know I'll be giggling at something stupid later on, regardless. I know I'll forget tomorrow not to say anything stupid,or else I'll be so quiet trying not to start anything that it ends up they think I'm mad at them. X_x Jinglebells jinglebells, Aurie laid an A-bomb.
There's no way out of the sandcastle mazes we make.
I'm off work today and my mom and I get into a huge piss-fit.
Riding with all of them today to go scope out where I need to be tomorrow morning, then going out for dinner was a less than pleasant experience with all the stupid tension that's around no matter what when we all four get together.
I wonder how much of this is really my fault and what I can do to fix it.
Experience tells me talking gets me in trouble.
Logic tells me no one wants to be around someone who just sits there silently.
I think I'd rather sit in a small, cozy room with nothing but a leather chair, a laptop and my pillow,a PS2 stuffed in the corner, and a huge swimming pool of empty paper with pens and pencils and erasers and such to match. No one would get in except through my little glowy screen. I'd waste most of my money on bills and probably buy nonhealthy groceries. NO ACCOUNTABILITY WHATSOEVER DA YO.
My faults are so painful.
I'm such an awful person sometimes.
So many people could do better with what I have.
Sometimes it all feels so messed up, it wouldn't matter if anything changed, now.
...but I know it isn't really all that bad, and I'm just venting.
Just gothing and being stupid, even though I challenge everything and it's all excruciatingly genuine.
I know I'll be giggling at something stupid later on, regardless. I know I'll forget tomorrow not to say anything stupid,or else I'll be so quiet trying not to start anything that it ends up they think I'm mad at them. X_x Jinglebells jinglebells, Aurie laid an A-bomb.
There's no way out of the sandcastle mazes we make.